"Popping in" on someone without notice.

Jaylou

I need notice of visitors. I always like to present a tidy house, but I need time to make it tidy!

Plenty of time in my case!

I don't like people to just 'pop in' either. Family are ok but not others. I like to be prepared. If people do arrive unexpectedly it's always when I'm wearing my tatty clothes and the house is a mess.

I love visitors Just not without notice.

I too hate it. I have called at friend's houses here and there to drop something off if passing, but would never go in, or expect to - the whole event over in a minute or two. I really dislike people just dropping in - we've had that several times, and it's usually so inconvenient - we were having dinner, or just about to serve it, or absolutely exhausted having had a really tiring day and someone appears who is expecting tea, sandwiches, and a good natter until past midnight. I have, once or twice, hidden!

After reading this thread on MN I've come to the conclusion that's its mainly the older generation who have a bad habit of popping in announced.
The younger generation like to have a bit of advance warning. Its the new way.
Even if its nly a 10 minutes warning, 10 minutes doesn't sound long, but it can give a person time to change quickly and have a lightening speed tidy up of anything embarrassing lying around.
Or it goes them the chance to say, sure you can come for half an hour, but we are going out at x time
And in this day and age of smartphones,there's no excuse not to give someone a quick text to say you're in the area and if it's OK to pop in.
Manners innit?

I like people dropping in but then I am retired and have few time constraints.

We are talking of 'friend's here? My door is always open. If there's a mess, there's a mess. My friends know me warts and all. I do prefer a bit of notice as it helps with my undivided attention and a bit of pampering in the shape of catering, for instance. However we would share whatever's available. Most of my pals would call ahead just to check that I'm going to be in. Inhospitable old world it's becoming........

It's not inhospitable, it's not having to live your life as though you are always on show.

To me, my home is my sanctuary, and I can let my hair down there. If I want to stay in my pyjamas all morning and watch Eastenders, I can. If I want to leave the dishes until later, I can do that, too. It doesn't mean that I want everyone to see me doing it, though.

A ten minute warning would at least allow me to put some clothes on, pull a brush through my hair, switch off the TV and shut the kitchen door. That way, I could be hospitable when my visitor arrived, and smile when offering coffee rather than both of us feeling mortified at my being caught out.

I never pop in on anyone, even family. And I hate people popping in on me. It throws me into a mad panic, even if the house is tidy.

Daisend1

dolphindaisy
You call these persons friends ?

Afraid so. The husband once kindly pointed out we had a cobweb on the ceiling!

It’s a huge “no” for me. I don’t pop in on people and I don’t like it when it happens to me. I have Aspergers and frankly, I like to know what’s going on.

Was given a surprise birthday “do” some years ago and hated it. Really really couldn’t wait to leave!

Apart from family there isn’t really anyone who would drop in, unfortunately. I grew up with family and friends dropping in but OH’s family were the total opposite.

I dont care about the house being untidy or whether people who come without arrangement will "judge" me because Im not "dressed". Thats their problem.

Mine is that I have customers to service and they pay for my attention. Unscheduled visitors contribute nothing to my income and are just a distraction. I dont walk around with a smartphone glued to my hand so someone phoning or texting to say they will be with me in ten minutes does not work for me. Unless Im expecting a package or have an appointment I probably wont even answer the door.

I had a friend who would often drop by unannounced, I'd always ask her in and put the kettle on. She'd then say, "Oh not for me, I'm not stopping."
I actually found that quite rude! I always made myself a coffee though.
I was never quite brave enough to just keep her talking on the doorstep in the first place, or when she turned down a drink to say, "Well don't let me keep you then" and show her out.

We moved house because we were fed of people popping in. Some family followed us, that’s fine, but it’s much better now everyone else text first to make sure we’re in.

When all the kids were at home people would pop in all the time. We had a problem with our next door neighbour who had actually originally built the house. He would turn up almost every day, sometimes downstairs in the workshop looking for tools to borrow without asking. I was glad when we moved even though he wasn’t a nasty man. Now people ring before they turn up which is how I like it.

Prefer to be told prior to visit, someone caught me in my dressing gown at 5 o’clock one afternoon, said it’s ok don’t worry! Or say you have just cooked a lovely omelette that you can’t eat in front of anyone, I wouldn’t, if they weren’t, I wouldn’t enjoy it, so for me it’s let me know first please.

I love friends popping in far more than pre arranged visits.

I really don’t care anymore what other people think, that’s the advantage of aging surely ?

Yes of course it is considerate to text or ring to see if it is convenient, but what short memories we have - only 2 years ago do you remember when you were unable to do more than wave from the garden gate? You could not even meet in the garden?
I bet most of us especially those who live alone would have given our right arm for a “drop in” friend.

Well said Maw I prefer friends to pop in ,but they are all too reticent

My children and grandchildren are welcome any time day or night.

Everyone else - I prefer to know because I can eat something nice in to eat and drink.

Not bothered about the house

Oh I agree, WW2. Eat the goodies before they get there!

We get vaguely irritated if a delivery man disturbs us never mind someone wanting to come in

It doesn’t often happen here, and I’m not tidy, so I infinitely prefer at least a couple of hours’ notice.

Funny how nobody ever pops in when it’s all relatively pristine, though. Which is usually when I’m expecting guests anyway, and have had a good blitz.