"Popping in" on someone without notice.

We 'drop off' things at family houses if we're passing but not to go in, especially with people WFH most of the time, but only for close family.
They sometimes turn up on the fly and are welcome but I definitely prefer friends to let me know they're coming and I always arrange to visit them in advance. OH usually arranges to play golf if he knows there's going to be a tea party!

And because we’ll just eat them, we never buy biscuits unless anyone’s expected at short notice - so a quick dash to the corner shop.

There are very few people that I would be happy at them popping in to see me - about 3 or 4 people - and I would be really frustrated at anybody else doing it. I have 2 friends who insist on me being around when they bring presents to me, even during the lockdowns and even though I had told them not to come round! and even though I have a post box at my door when they can put things into. The last straw was at Xmas when I was trying to sort out going abroad and getting all the paperwork and everything else I needed to do and had to speak sharply to one person who was still insisting on seeing me in person. The problem was I didn't know when I was going to be in due to all the arranging and they got quite stroppy with me. Why can't people take 'no' for an answer. My home is my castle, my safe place and I want it to stay like that.

I have always enjoyed the unexpected visitor.

Many years back when my children were small, we actually lost the key to the back kitchen door, it remained unlocked, known to close friends and family. I would sometimes arrive home from shopping, etc. to find a friend or two in my kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee waiting for me. I loved that.

Obviously, grew more security minded as the years past. But was nearly always happy for the unexpected ring at the front door and a friend saying they were passing, etc. If I really was too busy at that moment, or had an appointment to get to I would tell them.

Nobody seems to do that now. Will usually, at least telephone before they come, except some of my g.children living nearby who will still occasionally, just turn up.

Witzend

And because we’ll just eat them, we never buy biscuits unless anyone’s expected at short notice - so a quick dash to the corner shop.

My mum says exactly the same so I was delighted to find a variety box of biscuits packed into packs of two in Sainsbury's the other day. It'll be her Mothers day present.

Opening a text from someone to ask if they can pop round can’t compare to the the joy of opening the door to a friend you weren’t expecting.
I love it.

A huge NO from me, I would be happy if someone text or called first and checked but never a knock on the door..

Zoejory

Oh I agree, WW2. Eat the goodies before they get there!

Bugger

Where we lived previously close to family everyone used to just pop in. And we did the same.
Now our ACh and extended family have all gone onto the appointments system plus we live 100 miles away now.
Doesn't seem as friendly to me

I would hate it, unless they were very close family or friends where I could be completely at ease and it wouldn't matter if I was in my jammies or hadn't washed my hair or had heaps of laundry on the floor. Etc.

biglouis I’m right with on your thoughts! Although as a mid 60’s woman I get a little anxious I might not be found for days on end if something were to happen to me.

I work full time but I’m talking annual leave etc.

Always welcomed, sometimes if going out you have to say so but that’s not a problem if you drop in you take a chance. I live in a place mostly have too, that it’s sort of okay to do so. I love it.

We've always had an open door policy but only when it is convenient to us unless it is an emergency. My family know if they pop in they may get welcomed with open arms, fed and watered or we may say a quick hello and ferry them out. Managing expectations is probably the answer.

I don’t like it- the poppers round never come when I’m looking my best or I’ve polished and vacuumed the house. If I’m having visitors I like to be prepared -have a tasty treat in etc. Given how I feel I wouldn’t dream of dropping in on anyone else.

Depends on who it is, and whether we're busy or not.

Have those who say it's unfriendly or inhospitable not to text first never muttered 'Oh $@&, it's your mother/sister/cousin' or similar when the doorbell's rung at an inconvenient time, but opened the door with a smile rather than make the doorstepper feel bad?

Do you really want to be on the other end of that, even if you are greeted politely?

Clearly, there are two disparate schools of thought, and so long as both the dropper in and the person at home are of the same view, neither is right or wrong. It's when there is a clash of viewpoints that it matters. My husband's family are droppers in, and as I've said, I hate it. Because he happily pops around to their houses (knowing they won't mind), they feel free to do it here. To be fair, it mostly only happens when someone has a birthday, and all the younger generation have left their respective homes, so it doesn't happen as often as it did, but I still gnash my teeth under my hospitable smile, as I sweep the washing off the radiator and shut doors on my way to the kitchen, mentally calculating how I am going to finish the work I was doing before the imminent deadline. My side of the family are too far away to do it, fortunately.

When I was a child, we had a neighbour who used to just walk into the kitchen. She would shout after she was in the door. My mother would never walk into her house. I vowed when I had a home of my own I would not allow that to happen. Unfortunately I had a neighbour who felt it was what you did. She was often standing in the hall shouting "are you in" .part of the problem was she would stay for hours. For some reason she thought I was lonely. !!!!. She would come in on a Saturday morning and still be there at 3 in the afternoon. I wasn't lonely . I had 2 school age girls and parents who lived 3 miles away. After 3 years I had had enough and started to lock the door. I moved house a year later.

I absolutely hate it and get really stressed. I work from home and although it is voluntarily I work 8-10 hours a day with a long list of what needs to be done People think because it is voluntary work I can just leave it. I don't even like long phone calls, for me phone calls are a quick message. I hate chatting on the phone and have severe hearing problems which does not help. I much prefer emails for everything except booked lunches/teas and meetings.

I wouldn’t dream of just turning up without a quick call to see if it was convenient and I don’t like it when friends don’t do the same. They don’t, thankfully!

My friends and I normally send a message to each other checking we are home first and not busy before we call in.

Gosh, No Thank You

It's good when people pop in. Of course it's occasionally inconvenient but that's a minor consideration.

I like the idea of people popping over BUT in reality NO WAY and it’s actually rude.

Why? Because you catch your friends off guard. Are they dressed for guests? Is their house tidy for them to feel comfortable having guests? Do they have chores/ tasks to do or day otherwise organised but would feel it rude not to entertain you, then they’re anxious about how they’ll get their chores/tasks done.

So no, don’t just pop in. Call or message first.

Oh what I’d give for someone to ‘pop in’ to see me…. I love it, but it very rarely happens….

I loathe it when unexpected visitors all, I will hide if possible - or say that I am just going out