Help calm me. House buying and selling stress *Part 9*

Morning all, sunny here today but still wet after the evening rain.

Sorry about your neighbour being such a bully Yogi, but as Franbern says, do try and avoid a dispute. I had to declare our septic tank dispute with my neighbour because we ended up going to a solicitor. I can't quite understand your garden set up, is the garden split into two? Could you put a gate up? As for the violent foray in the road, I wonder if they are a vulnerable couple still locked down and have reached breaking point. I met a couple on the beach yesterday and they were 'on the list' and initially told they couldn't even go out into their own garden. They'd just had their fourth jab. Good luck and I hope he clears his garden soon. Just been out into my jungle to feed the birds, I must do my grass today.

Glad you are back to your normal routine Franbern. I was so embarrassed the builder caught me in my dressing gown that Saturday morning.

Allsorts, I am glad to have downsized, I have much smaller bills and nice neighbours, but appreciate it is the luck of the draw. I would recommend sooner rather than later, especially as you've mentioned some big jobs are starting to be urgent. Do choose your new location carefully - like Oopsadaisy, the small bus I was so pleased to have passing my front door, has just been terminated as its not 'financially viable'. I do have another bus available to me a ten minute walk away, luckily, but would mean a shopping trolley rather than shopping bags.

Have a good day everyone

Allsorts I always said that neighbours are very important, I had to move to pay off my mortgage, if it hadn't been for that I probably would have stayed there forever. Lovely friendly, helpful neighbours in a very good area. My darling little GD [6yrs] said to me the other week nannie, couldn't you have got another house, I loved your other house, we had so much room to play in.

Oopsadaisy1

Crikey yogi you certainly have ‘interesting’ neighbours, your neighbour sounds like our chap across the road, quite happy to live in a tip.
Please don’t strim without looking out for hedgehogs, a lot of them have babies at the moment, also it’s ‘No Mow May’ so at least he’s keeping the wildlife safe, I suggest you just avert your eyes!

Yes Oops when I said he needs to keep his garden clean & tidy, just moving the lawn would be enough, he replied I've got better things to do with my time in quite a nasty way. He's retired, never goes out, so could spend a few hours in his garden each week to keep it up to scratch and it would do him good to be out in the fresh air and get a little exercise with gardening.

Allsorts - just to say to you that downsizing to my flat from a house and moving 150 miles away was one of the very best decisions I have ever made.

It was noticeable that when I was in London last weekend, meeting up with many friends and colleagues that I had not seen since before I moved (at end of 2019), virtually every one of them commented as to well I looked and at least ten years younger!!!

I DID choose with great care - ensured shops, public transport, etc close to me, worked out what I really needed in my new home - so very large Living Room/Diner, lots of light, good sized main bedroom, en-suite (important to me even though I live by myself). Obviously, a lift in the flats, and a garage - extremely useful even now when I have given up having my own car - makes wonderful storage area and somewhere for my mobility scooter.

With regard to neighbours, - having become Secretary to our self-managed Management Committee, I find I know most of the people living here - have got reasonably friendly with some of them - but not the sort of 'dropping in and out of each others flats' type friendly. Think that sort is the ones most likely to lead to problems. I work hard at not being a nuisance to anyone else in the flats, run my (cordless) vacuum over communal areas after I have had workmen doing anything in my flat, etc. I am careful about no loud radio or tv at night (have headphones to use if I am watching anything in bed). Too often people are so concerned about the behavior of their neighbours, they seem to forget that their own behavior may cause problems.

It's his fence Fran I did say I was tidying up ready to clear it for him but due to the rain had to wait till the morning, but he can do it himself now as he put everything back again and can't strim unless it's all clear.

Nice to hear you had a normal tranquil morning, hopefully it will be all straight and looking marvellous soon.

Fleur In normal circumstances you would be completely right, but our situation is different. It is a big Victorian house, I have the bottom & he the top flat. There is a little fence in the middle of our gardens and then the normal high fences either side. My little dog normally stays on our side, but first thing in the morning he likes to investigate the gardens to see who visited during the night. I watch him in case he does anything but he normally always waits till we go to the park. So when I watch him and he disappears under the long grass I am really concerned.

In our situation you cannot ignore the other person, I certainly wouldn't do the same to him and I actually do help him a bit, tidying up the front bit of the back gardens and tidying up the front garden that he owns but again he does almost nothing to. It's inconsiderate. It's my sanctuary too!

Yogi, I cannot see you staying there for more than two years so you must avoid a dispute at all costs eg we had a person who encroached upon certain conditions in our communal area. He lived outside the development but had certain rights and he overstepped the mark. Anyway, I was sec and chair of our management co and made a point of telling the other directors that we must avoid a dispute as it would impact any future selling process. We swallowed the grievance and since then I sold and my immediate neighbour is thinking of selling as she is now widowed

Yogi, I would make the boundary dog proof and would put up some sort of screening to hide his garden from your view. Then I would swallow my pride and take him a cake and say that it was a very bad day and you must both move on. I could see him causing trouble during a selling process so nip it in the bud and pretend that all is sweetness and light

The front garden is a different matter, tbh it affects how people see your property. You must stay on board with him over keeping that tidy

Shandy, very good luck in dealing with the carpets, it is a horrible job and make sure to be kitted out forensically esp with a good dust mask and gloves

Karmalady I did see him later and apologized, but he ignored me!

I work very hard on my garden, keeping everything looking neat & tidy, and as you say the front garden is a reflection of who lives there. He could make a little effort and at least mow his lawn.

As for the screening Karmalady When I viewed, myself and the EA comment on the kitchen windows having a film on them that prevented you looking out onto the garden. We both said what a shame not to look out onto the garden. EA said to me that the film could be easily removed and that is what I did as soon as I moved in. So from that I would say the people before had the same problem. But I certainly wouldn't want to screen the windows, I love looking out onto the trees & sky etc.

Yogin what's happening with you sounds like a soap opera episode. Sorry your new home isn't all you hoped.

My friend in the Midlands lives in an ex council house. Her parents brought it when she was young. Even though she had her own house she owned in a lovely area when her mom died she decided to sell and move into her parents house. Both sides of her are still council houses. When she had her extension on her kitchen she had to get the people living next doors consent . Which they dragged their feet over signing but at least they did.

The side not attached to her there back garden is a tip and because it's the council's fence and some panels are missing and they won't replace them and said it up to the tenant who won't. She has paid and had a fence put on her land to keep all his rubbish from coming into her garden. She hasn't got a dog but 5 cats. As they don't go any further than her garden and not let out over night she feels they are safer.

I downsized nearly 3 years ago and don't regret it a bit. I love my par down life. I have 2 double bedrooms. In fact I have a king sized bed in mine with lots of room round it. 19' 4" x14'8" living room . Rectangular kitchen which looks out onto my drive as does my shower room. Long driveway and garage. And front and back garden that I can look after myself. My only fear was would I like the neighbours I needed have worried even my neighbour the other side of back fence is lovely.

Since my move I no longer exist like I did in my old house but live my life to the full. It's feels like I have always lived here.

My brother and sister in law feel the same about their bungalow. Their lives have changed so much for the better. Like me have better health care and council services than they did in the Midlands. I live in the north west they live in the north east.

Selling and buying is very stressful and takes a long time but I don't regret all the sleepless nights and tears one bit. Or any for the mess I had put up with to make the bungalow my home.

My draining board thingie is in white - so thought I needed to replace it with something small in black. Will mainly use dishwasher, but still need something to put the odd mug, plate, etc. Lovely warm sunshine, so I went on my mobility scooter to Dunelm and The Range. Soon found one in Dunelm - made by Brabantia cost= £50.00 (Yes that is correct - fifty quid). Moved on a found that next one by Joseph and Joseph and that was £55.00!!!

I suppose people must pay these stupid prices for such articles - do wonder who they are and why!!!

At The Range I found an Addidas small black plastic drainer for £3.49 and added to that for £1.49 a cutlery drainer. Both look great on my new black sink area and if they do not last more than a few years, I will happily replace with similar.

Well done Fran on your treasure hunt. Some things are so over priced and then you see just what you want for a fraction!

Thanks for that Whiff you always feel better hearing like stories. Oh course now I wish I had fenced up the very back of his garden, where they wouldn't have been seen, but at the time, lifting the heavy fences on my own I put them just a couple of steps down where they just propped up easily, but could be seen. Hope the argument can be forgotten quickly.

Intended doing the very back of my garden, but next door were having a party BBQ for his birthday, she had apologized before hand and I said no worries, but thought best to stay inside with my dog in case he barked at the noise. The couple of times I let him out for a wonder & wee he was quiet, so all good. My street is all quiet now, yet to hear what happened yesterday, but the police were there a long time.

Don't know what to do with the top of my garden, have enough trees. It sort of banks up into a little hill, so was thinking of perhaps a little archway & maybe some pamper type grasses & boulders. Any ideas?

BBQ was the other neighbour on the other side, I get on well with them.

I do try to avert my eyes Oops and I love a wild garden encouraging the wild life, but there is a difference between that & an unkempt rubbish damp.

Afternoon all, just back from the beach and having a brief rest before I continue packing. I might do a bit of carpet cutting as well today, in the areas I can reach - and left to right too, not stabbing myself in the knee again!

I was very pleased to find a merino wool blanket I thought I'd 'decluttered' this morning - in a suitcase! As well as a throw I'd forgotten all about. Unfortunately having to lose a couple of sheets as my cat had slept in the under bed bedding storage during the roof removal, I hadn't realised the lid was loose. Can't be bothered to sellotape it off, they look a bit grey anyway, and I had kept six of each sheet for the two beds and the sofa bed I still have to buy.

Have a good day all

Evening all, Monday again already.

Just coming on to say 'yay', all books and bedding are now packed. I'll use the bedding on my bed now on the blow up bed, hopefully it'll wash and dry as the weather warms up. I had to go into town and buy two big ugly zippy bags from our local shop for the last duvet and sheets, but so far I feel pleased with my progress. Back bedroom tomorrow, I've got about 100 pictures to box up.

Any country dwellers watch out for these mad ducks who seem to have started nesting in the fields, second one in six weeks. I was driving to the beach and a couple of cars flashed me, when I got round the bend there was a mother duck on the busy narrow coast road, with all her ducklings. She just couldn't get up the long grass at the side of the road to get through to safety, I hope she found somewhere eventually. Too risky to try and catch her in case she ran in front of the cars. I was a coward and went home another way in case there had been carnage, some of the cars do 70 on that road.

Have a good week everyone.

So much rain here, reminds me of summers past, when we would all hope for a few nice days. We became used to the scorching heat of the last few years but I do remember that there were some volcanic eruptions and generally, the following summers are generally cooler, lots of dust in the stratosphere this year.

Nothing exciting going on here, just generally sewing, cycling and gardening, the greenhouse-like conditions have been so beneficial for all my plants and the snail population has boomed. Growing so much vertically is certainly paying off.

You are making good progress shandy

Hello All,
I've been absent for a while as I've had lots to deal with. Some unfortunately still unresolved.

Shandy I do so feel for you. To have gone through the whole business of selling the Station only to be beset with problem after problem in your new home. I hope all will be sorted soon and you can then get on and enjoy the place.

After 9 months of looking to find someone to redo our garden we eventually found someone suitable although it did turn into a saga due to him having an accident and his wife needing surgery He started work 3 weeks ago and finished today. However, we are not able to have the turf laid until the Spring so the garden is not really finished. It is so different from what we had and many people who walk past comment on how good it looks. When the grass is down it will look 1000% better still. I will post some photos soon. Out of 14 landscapers contacted we had 4 actually quote on the job, quotes ranged from $19k - $47.5k. As we had the design all were quoting on the same plan, clearly the higher ones did not want the job.

We are slowly working through the list of things to do. It's now 15 months since we moved in and things have not progressed as quickly as we would have liked. Between health issues and Covid. I am struggling with my continuing lack of mobility which is making things difficult. I am at least able to get back to the hydrotherapy pool which makes a big difference.

Next on our list of things to do is organise solar panels and buy a new cooker. and some furniture. Those things should see the main items ticked off and then we should be able to relax a bit.

Today we have the most beautiful Autumn day. Hopefully we will see a bit more of the same before the winter hits and then it will not be long before we are complaining about our hot weather again..........! We are never happy with the weather wherever we are.

Fingers crossed that everyone who is in the process of buying or selling has a smooth path ahead and are soon settled in their new homes.

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One of our new roses. This is Oklahoma and is the most glorious dark velvety red with a lovely scent.
It was a variety I didn't know and was suggested to us at the nursery. Glad we took the advice.

Lovely rose Spice

Spice sorry to learn things have not been smooth sailing in your new home. I have come to accept, over the past few years, that using modern mobility aids have really assisted me in being able to continue to lead a normal life. I have a riser/recliner armchair, a electric bed, use a trolley around the flat to transport things, including my meals. Outside use my mobility scooter. etc. etc. I am just so grateful that modern technology means that I am able to live totally independently.

Have now had my kitchen window measured for new blind - once actually ordered will have to wait 4-5 weeks. In the distant past I would have just bought ready-made one, (window is very standard size), and put it up myself. Having to pay fifty quid for Dunelm fitter, and have one made to measure. Extra costs of being disabled, thank goodness for Attendance allowance money!!!

Although kitchen is not quite finished yet, (kickboards to be put in plus my washing machine and dishwasher plus four cupboard doors), I am now using it and getting flat back to normal. Once that work is carried out on Thursday morning, I will be able to spend weekend sorting out and cleaning spare room.

Spice do wish trades people would be honest and say if they do not want a particular job, instead of using this pricing system. Many years ago, when I managed a children'gymnastic club, we had water coming through the ceiling in reception - this area had a flat roof. Got local roofer in and was shocked at his quote of over three thousand pounds!!! Found that one of our parents was a roofer, got him to have a look, and (yes, he did do 'mates rate') but his price was six hundred pounds with ten year guarantee. When I exclaimed at the difference, he explained that the other company really did not want the job.

Shandy I am continually astonished at your vigour and energy - very well done. Just hope this will be the last major upheaval you will have.

I am looking forward to half-term next week, one of my twin daughters will be coming down to Somerset for a couple of days with her hubbie and their 12-year old daughter. Hoping it will be hot enough for her and my 12-year old g.son living near me to be able to go to the water park. Think this will be about the last year they will want to do this, by next summer the girl at least, will be too much on her teenage dignity to want to play there.

Morning all, rainy here too today. Just about to go out with the dog last night and we had torrential rain, huge great drops! I think some people describe it as 'stair rods'! So grateful to have a good roof now. My 80 year old friend lost the gutters at the front of her house in Storm Arwen and still doesn't have any, I do feel for her when it rains.

So nice to see you Spice, glad to catch up. I'm sorry your gardener had problems, but at least you are nearly finished. I employed an unreliable young kid to help me with the trees and yew/hawthorn hedges and £1000 later was left with half a garage full of cuttings, nearly killed me relocating all that lot, I had to 'post' it over the line into the wild area away from the track. Love your velvety rose, I can imagine the smell, I expect karmalady's roses are out now too. Look forward to your photos.

Enjoy your new kitchen Franbern, and have a nice time with your family next week.

Thanks for all your good wishes about my situation, it helps me to write on here. I am very relieved my son is going to help me remove the carpets, I am having the odd panicky feelings about it. I bought some giant bags for it yesterday. I was cross the carpet cutter I bought on line was actually out of stock, won't buy from them again.

Back bedroom packing today, lots and lots of pictures. I was still testing wall paint colours so hadn't put them up yet. I can leave things stacked on the concrete end of the room, but as they are going to do the airbricks, realise it should be easy to move if necessary. It does feel strange to be packing and going nowhere!

Good luck to everyone buying and selling. My neighbour's house is now SSTC, I wonder who my new neighbour is going to be. Not my son's best friend, unfortunately, that would have been great, I've known him since he was a child.

Stair rods again today! At least the ground will soften for the blackbirds, poor old worms!

Just had a good cry. I know it's daft, and I don't believe in 'being visited from above', but I was tackling the huge pile of heavy records and there was a little silver confetti heart on top of them. I've no memory of ever buying these as my daughter doesn't like hearts, and they have popped up whenever I'm having a bad time.

it is so good to hear from you spice, your house to home journey. That is a very beautiful rose. Where there is a will. there is a way, such a true saying. Determination rather than sitting back and just waiting to be old. Good tips from franbern

Shandy, that was a message, I get these messages whenever I climb a mountain of a problem. It is like a pat on the back, a reassurance that whatever we are doing, it is the right thing. That one step forward at a time, like a mountain goat, that destination is coming ever closer

Oh yes I had my electric bill today, they take the reading via smart meter, I am not connected to them for gas, yet. I do that reading by kneeling on the ground outside, ridiculous. However I trust octopus when they said they were waiting for a small part, some sort of adaptor. So I am £4 better off this month and am now in credit by £10. Havent used my big oven in ages