30 bags in 30 days decluttering method

Daughter2 ask us for as many extra blankets as we could spare, a homeless charity need. Win-win, as we continue on this de-clutter journey.

Don't give up, Guesswhat. Even a small bag is progress, and don't they say that it takes 21 days to form a habit? Something like that, anyway. Getting used to finding things to evict from the house will become a way of life after a while, and if it takes 90 days instead of 30, so what?

Achieved nothing today because my catchup tv stopped working and I spent a day messaging TalkTalk in a futile attempt to fix it. They used to send engineers out; in fact their engineer lived round the corner from me. I do have several tv’s,: two of which my son gave me and a couple of small ones. One used to be in the kitchen but it stopped working. I don’t know if it was the tv or the aerial. I need to get an engineer out to go through these tv’s with me so I can get rid of some of them. Eg in the bedroom I have a massive tv, far too big for the room, and on the floor another large one and two smaller ones. On the dining room table is a small tv that used to play cd’s but a cd got stuck in it so I dismantled it. It’s been sat on the table for years waiting to be fixed. My ex husband was an engineer and I never appreciated having someone in the house who could repair everything. I sometimes used to long to be able to buy something new. But now I’m obsessed with using electrical items for as long as possible and I get so frustrated not knowing how to fix or install things. I don’t even know how to use the new computer I had to buy when the old one died: same with my new phone. Sorry for the rant but I’m just overwhelmed by the amount of junk and clutter in my house. Two rooms full of toys that I either kept from when my kids were young to new ones that I bought for the grandchildren. But the younger ones aren’t really interested in a lot of them and they grew out of some of them when they weren’t coming here because of covid. I still can’t bear to part with most of them. I do need help! I’ve also got things that I bought over the years to put in the little cottage I dreamed of living in one day but that isn’t going to happen! In fact, after I’d spent hours trying to sort the tv out I just burst into tears and then fell asleep for several hours. The garage is full of my ex husbands stuff: he keeps saying he doesn’t have time to go through it but I think it’s because he still likes having things here: ditto a lot of his parents stuff in the loft ( he doesn’t have room in his house which is actually the little cottage that I wanted to grow old in!). And my house is a typical divorced woman’s time warp house held together with gaffer tape. I can’t afford to just give things away to charity shops so it just hangs around the house. Miss Havisham would be proud of me!

Well you can ignore me if you like, as the number of bags I've got rid of over the past fortnight is testament to the fact that I'm no minimalist, but I think you should give your ex an ultimatum. Either he comes and gets his stuff (including his parents' things) or you get a house clearance company in and they go out that way. Give him till the end of the month and not a day longer. Or you could get the price of a storage unit and tell him you'll bill him at that rate every month, (and do it, then spend the money on a new dress, or a holiday, or gin ). Either way, he needs to pay up or get his things out of your space.

Than the charity shop possibilities. They aren't making you any money cluttering up your house, so you have nothing to lose by getting rid of them. If you can be bothered, you could try selling them on eBay or Vinted, but it's a faff, so if there isn't going to be enough reward to make it worthwhile, why not cut your losses? It doesn't matter what you paid for it once upon a time. It's how much use it is to you now that matters.

I understand sentiment over the toys, but again, if they aren't being played with, what's the point? Would a children's ward take them? Or a playgroup? That way you know they are giving pleasure to someone, and they are out from under your feet. Or you could ask at a food bank if there is anywhere taking toys for children whose parents can't afford them - that's not uncommon these days.

That leaves the technology. It's really not worth clinging to old tech if it's not working. It goes out of date so fast that you will get a lot more for your money if you have one modern working thing than paying to get three broken old ones mended.

All of that is easy for me to say, I know . I still haven't even started on the clothes, and I'm busy all day tomorrow, so it will be Thursday at the latest before I do, and I have a lot to sort through. But if you start with your ex husband, and stick to your guns, you will probably feel a weight lift. Just having the garage space to put other things in (eg the TVs if you don't want to part with them yet) will make you feel better.

I hope you get a good night's sleep and that things look better in the morning .

It’s more complicated than that, though. He still helps me financially to maintain the house, partly in the hope that our children can inherit it. His own house is quite small compared to mine. You are right, though. I should have passed on toys etc at the time rather than hanging onto them ( although, when the first grandchildren were born it was lovely seeing them play with their mum’s toys).And then my daughter passed on her children’s toys to me to pass onto her brothers children. I thought the boxes of photo albums would bring me joy but now I’m old and the marriage fell apart they just make me sad. I wish I could turn the clock back and not hoard things. My cousin, who’s a lot older than me, has just lost her husband and, she too has a room full of things she can’t face clearing out. I think it must run in the family. I do need to ask my kids and my ex to go through everything but I don’t want to be all morbid sounding by pointing out that it needs to be done now rather than if my health fails. And they’re so busy with their families. I am my own worst enemy. And I do go into hibernation mode in January! I basically need a proverbial kick up the backside and I’m a terrible procrastinator!

Oh, MayBee, I can relate so much to what you’re saying. Especially about the grandchildren’s toys. Their books, too, in my case.

You sound so overwhelmed, poor thing. Doodledog speaks a lot of sense. (I love the way she uses the word “evict” for this thing we’re trying to do.) You are tied though, I see that, on account of your ex husband.

Make some sort of start today if you can. I’m getting there bit by bit - and it’s nice to read all the messages of solidarity here on this forum.

Most things from my childhood disappeared when I left home at 17. So the things I do have, a few photos and several books I treasure. I think that’s why I hold onto things. A lot of hoarders have similar problems. But I love seeing eg old newspapers and things that are original source material. Then again most original source material is only precious because most of it has been thrown away!

I get it, MayBee. I think when you weren't brought up with a 'throw away' mentality it is hard to change.

I keep telling myself that having a tidy house makes me happy (which it does) and that I can only have that when there is somewhere to put things away. I've had full cupboards for so long that not only is there nowhere to put things, but it is hard to see what is in them.

I know it can be hard to throw things away when they were expensive, but the chances are that most things are not valuable when they are second hand - books and clothes in particular, so I am telling myself that it is better to pass them on while they are still vaguely in fashion than to wait until they are only fit for rags.

(I have had a copy of the Guardian on a bookshelf for 31 years - the day when my son was born. I kept it for him, but keep forgetting to pass it on to him. If there are still newspapers when/if I get grandchildren I will do the same for them, too.)

One of the best things that’s happened to me recently has been having the Times online because it has stopped me saving newspaper articles! I do have special event papers, though: death of various famous people etc.

I faced the outdoors today, the sun was warm enough to feel comfortable. Keter storage containers, two big and several small. Three big black bags worth to the tip, I did not have the oomph to go searching for new homes for any of it

Maybee70, I empathise, many of us developed those accumulation and storage habits, ingrained from a young age when string was kept and cheap christmas wrapping paper was ironed to re-use. I will never be minimalistic nor will I ever do without my storecupboard or stashes of fabric and yarn. I have faced facts and been brutal wrt the likes of dozens of good quality plant pots and other things I will never use again. Its hard but the feeling of relief afterwards is very worth it

The good thing about my catchup tv not working is that I’ve got to get an engineer to come out to sort it out. TalkTalk have sent me a new tv box but I don’t think that’s the problem. I can ask him to look at the collection of tvs that I have and check the aerial. I may ask him to recommend which new tv I should get. TalkTalk used to send engineers out. I also have problems with my windows. Some of the glass needs replacing, the wood needs painting and the putty gets mouldy. If I had my time again I’d have upvc. On top of that the local pigeons poo all over the upstairs windows and rot the wood. It’s all a bit overwhelming. I need the porch replacing too and the garage and porch roof leaks: the garage roof was replaced years ago but it was a cowboy job! I can’t store things in the garage that I should be able to partly because of my ex’s stuff but also because the roof leaks. Oh well, I have tidied up my books and cd’s but still unfortunately found any to send to the charity shop!

I continued with garden stuff today and it was satisfying. A tip run with one black bag and various bigger odds and sods. I think that is it for the time being, the garden was long overdue

I have completely emptied one keter store and now have room for a large load of logs, no worries about cold weather next winter and for years to come

I cannot see me filling any more bags for the forseeable, I have been through every area in my house

Will you ex sort out the garage for you, MayBee?

I had a frustrating day yesterday one way and another, so no bags were filled, but I did take delivery of three jute baskets. Two are to house things I use but want out of the way (notebooks, room sprays and knitting bits and bobs), and the third is a large one that I plan to use as a 'tidy up' bag, into which I can throw mess for a quick clear up, but with the promise that I wall empty it every Friday before my usual weekend clean. It is large, so won't fit where I'd planned to put it, but even having it on display looks neater than having all the bits and bobs lying about.

Today's progress is largely cosmetic. I've put away a lot of things that were displaced when I was decluttering, eg books back on shelves, and other items taken upstairs where they belong. It's all an incentive though - the house looks a lot better than when I started doing this (thanks, Guesswhat ) and tomorrow's clean will be easier and more thorough as everywhere is tidy (downstairs anyway - one step at a time ). I have also taken a look at the rooms with a fresh eye, and moved things around a bit - houseplants, vases and so on, which has given rooms a bit of a new look.

The charity people are collecting on Wednesday, so I have four days to get as many clothes as possible into bags to put out on Tuesday night. I'll do as much as I can on Saturday. I plan to book them to come back in March, but I'd like as much as possible to go out of the house before then.

If I don't run out of steam I'd like to continue upstairs and get the bedrooms sorted out too.

A small bag of art and craft items for the charity shop, a small bag of recycling put out and most put back in a wardrobe in a spare bedroom.
As DH said - one of your paintings might be worth millions in 100 years time 🖌🎨🖼

Have arranged for someone to paint some of the windows in June. He said he could put something on the windows to stop the pigeons but I pointed out that they don’t sit on the windows but roost in the trees and just aim at the windows. Need to phone about replacing the glass in some of them first. Speaking to a tv engineer tomorrow. Got to arrange to have the gutters cleared (another tree problem). If I had my time again I wouldn’t live in a house surrounded by trees. I can’t get to Saturdays repair shop so my electrical items that could be repaired will have to sit in a box for another month.I’m not getting to throw much out…

Day 16 - (Yesterday) - A small bag of clothes for the charity shop.

Day 17 - (Today) - Nothing, as I’m on a weekend break away. What a cheek, eh? With all that I have to do in that house of mine! .

I’ll have to do a massive catch-up on Monday.

Have a lovely break, Guesswhat!

MayBee, it sounds as though you are making good progress. Getting the outside done up might spur you on to sort out the inside to match. Someone on here mentioned self-cleaning glass a while ago. I don't know how it works, but maybe that is what your painter was talking about. If it's something that stops poo from sticking to the glass it might be worth investigating?

It’s the wood that’s covered in poo. And it eats away at the paint. There is a window at the back of the house where they use the glass as target practice though! I have to keep the bins at the front of the front garden or they get covered. It’s really gross. This is the back step. Don’t look if you’re squeamish!

MayBee - Have you got a friend who would be willing to help and encourage you with your efforts? It's much more enjoyable when there are two of you getting stuck in!
Good Luck

Not really. It’s my children that need to do it as most of it is their stuff. They’re quite happy for me to throw everything in a skip but when I lost my parents I found great comfort in the few things they left behind and there were things from my childhood that I would have given anything to still have. My partner would happily go through everything with me but I feel that it isn’t his family home or his memories. We don’t live together but alternate between our homes. Throughout the pandemic we were at his house which is why my house has been neglected.

A ‘do you want this?’ message is the answer to getting rid of your children’s left behind stuff I’ve found Maybee70. I take a photo, send it to them and they reply with a yes or no. If it’s a yes it goes in a box in the garage (which my daughter takes away when she comes, my son is still at home so he has a unit with all his stuff he will take when he has his own home), if a no, it goes straight to the charity shop. It’s easier for them to make decisions if it’s just one or a couple of items, they won’t want to confront piles of their stuff all in one go.
Both my two are quite unsentimental - it’s often me who wants to keep their things, but I’m resisting, because if they don’t want it I’ve figured it clutters up my house now, and it will be thrown away after I’ve gone anyway.

This has been such a help! A little every day. . .I had the brain wave yesterday to just peek into the loft and see if there was just ONE thing so. . . Out went some model planes DH made years ago and are starting to deteriorate. My contribution was some children’s paint pots and two children’s umbrellas. Today I’m returning a jigsaw to the NT book shop-keep on keeping on little by little

We went through a phase of eating jelly ( I learned how to make trifle). But it has all expired. I wouldn’t usually bother with BB dates but the packaging has deteriorated. How do I dispose of it? Will it go into the compost bin? Or should I just put the whole lot in the bin. I feel so awful sending it to landfill. I’ve also got gelatin that’s expired but I think that’s ok to still use.

I’ve been too busy to do stuff in the house but I have disposed of a vase. Dh accidentally smashed it while we were doing our training exercises! 😩

SueDonim

I took my shopping trolley round to Oxfam but it wasn't my usual lovely woman today. The person taking delivery of donations:.

Her "have you booked?"
Me: "yes"
Her: "put it there" points to floor
Me: "this wool is brand new, unopened"
Her; "yes put it there, well look later"

I scuttled away but caught sight of my lovely lady and said I'd missed her, explaining that the woman in the back shop was very brusque.
LL thanked me and asked for my gift aid number which I gave
I didn't like to say I was made to feel guilty cluttering the sorting area.
Honestly though do you agree some lessons in customer service are overdue?