Scared to spend on myself

Thankyou all! What I am taking away from this posting is that if I want less anxiety, I need a picture of what is coming in, and what is going out. I'm also thinking that I need a separate account for any surplus at the end of the month, even if it's a small amount. I also need to shop around for better deals, which I haven't really done up to now. When I was working I didn't think twice about going away for a sunny break in the winter, but I haven't done this for over three years. I think I'm missing that spontaneity and freedom. Maybe the anxiety goes with the territory of being single, previously self supporting, and reticent about talking about money.

Fear of not having enough is something I've had since childhood. Whatever my income it's always there. Having learned to live with it and well within my budget, I would say spend on the experiences that make you happy and will lay down good memories for the future. Things break, get lost, wear out, or lose their glass a happy memory is with you for ever.

I second the Santander 123 accounts if you have enough direct debits to go from them and can put £500 each month into them. I think if you play the system your £500 can go in and out of three accounts like a yo yo but I would check up on that. I have a JL card and a M&S card and get money back in worthwhile sums. Paying for a holiday on a credit card costs but still worthwhile on the JL one. House insurance and household insurance are well worth changing. Frequently.

We seldom pay full price for a meal out we use Groupon and other voucher ,use Tesco vouchers to buy Cafe Rouge and Bella Italia meals and treated the DGC to the zoo for £20 of Tesco vouchers. That would cost us almost £80 otherwise. We seldom pay full price for the cinema on Tuesday and Wednesday we use Meerkat movies to get two for the price of one. I bought one day's holiday insurance for £5 and got a year of half price cinema . If you want to try this go to the money saving website and Martin Lewis will guide you on this. At the weekend we also get half price cinema tickets at the Odeon through having a subscription to the Times . This also gives you a free Tastecard for discounted meals . We also start our weekly shopping at either Lidl or Aldi and top up in Tesco for the rest.

Lots of ways to have the good life on the cheap. I saw an advertizment in the John Lewis xmas mag with a drinks trolley preped for cocktails. So far got the trolley for £30 off e bay posh glasses from a charity shop just looking for a cocktail shaker shaped like a pineapple. Love to eat venison so treat ourselves to enormous venison burghers from our fav roadside cafe and park somewhere with a nice borrowed view plus coffee from flask and chocs. All done for a £5 each. Good company no need to book deal with 1 upmanship table next to strangers etc. Like a nice garden so do we - someone elses via NGS. Support a charity lovely homemade cakes and no weeding. Posh wedding day out without needing to be asked or buy pressie or new outfits go to a wedding fair lots of freebies flower arranging ideas people watching posh hotel locations. I deposit hubby in bar plus paper he is happy as going to an Irish wedding would cost cost him over a thousand. You try going to 1 without a new outfit buying towels for a pressie etc. Sometimes the good life just needs some imagination.