Wills and leaving to grandchildren

I would discuss this proposal with the other two children and maybe divide the inheritance so that the grandchildren get a small share, if you dont get agreement it might lead to rows and rifts later on

You don't mention if the older 2 have partners, but if they don't, they are entirely dependent on their own finances for the rest of their lives, and may welcome some additional help. Divide the inheritance 3 ways to be fair, and leave the youngest one to decide how the grandchildren benefit.

My mother left a percentage to be divided between however many grandchildren there were when she died. The rest was left to me and my sister. That worked well for everyone. My sister’s children are younger than mine, still at university. But both my children used it to put towards a deposit for a house. I’m so thankful to my mother for doing that.

I'm another who thinks that it should be divided between your children, and then it's up to them whether they pass any of their share to their own families.

You don't know whether there will be more grandchildren in the future, and it would be unfair to leave any unborn ones out of the will.

I would keep the split equal, unless you helped the older ones out when they were starting out - otherwise, you would be helping the youngest one disproportionately. I don't think that it is fair to look at the relative prosperity of individuals when deciding how to split a will. Unless your children all had very different starts in life, they have made their own way, and it doesn't seem fair to 'penalise' those who have worked hard. It would be different if family circumstances had changed when they were growing up and they started adult life in different ways; but if that's not the case, I would share it equally.

We made our wills recently, and went through all the thinking about grandchildren, and all the 'what if's that go along with that, and we decided to split whatever we leave behind between our children and let them decide what to do as regards passing it down to children of their own. We have explained this to them, and suggested that they might like to wait until they are sure that they have completed their families before doing so, but that in the end it will be up to them.

I would leave it as it is, you can give the little ones money, and money to the twins while you are still alive. you dont haveto tell anyone that and will stop any hard feelings later.

We have done what Doodledog has done. But i have two children with roughly grandchildren all the same age. But some families are more comp;licated. Ive just split mine between the children and then can distribute what they wish to their children.

Absolutely not ! You may have no idea what mayhem you may leave behind

It could cause bitterness between the 3 children after you have gone and you wouldn't want that. I would leave some money to the children and do it that way.

The non parents should not miss out because a sibling made a choice to have children. Your legacy is for your children, let your children decide how and to whom they will leave theirs.

My own feeling is that provided it is discussed with the children and your reasons for giving more to one are explained, I can't see what the problem is.

I discussed this with my own children - one having a mortgage-free home and the other with a fair sized mortgage - and it caused no problems whatsoever for the latter one to be allocated a larger percentage. I don't have brothers and sisters but I can't imagine resenting a sibling who, in circumstances similar to these, needed more financial help.

I had this "problem/thought" some time back, eldest ds has 4 children, growing up fast, and youngest was unable to have children,

I decided to leave it the same, equally between my children.#
if either of my ds die before inheriting (what little I am likely to leave) then dil will get their share..

I trust them.
well when I am dead, I am dead!

I try to give gks and their mum and my ds`s whilst I am alive.

There is always going to be a difference if you have more than one child , you should treat them all the same no matter what there circumstances

My recently deceased Mothers will left 4% of the estate to each GC, the rest was equally split between the children.

My parents left 25% each to me and my sister, and 10% to each of the five grandchildren.
Although I have three children and my sister has two, we joked about my family getting more and it never caused any upset between us.
You could always update your will should you have more grandchildren in the future.

My dMum left everything to be split equally between her 5 dd's. If I did before my dh I am leaving a btl house of similar but not identical value to each of my 3 DC. I am leaving them all £10k as well. I have 2 dgs from my eldest child who I have helped while I am still alive. I have always helped with nursery costs as they are do high. I have bought all of their shoes and coats since they have been born. I put some money into an ISA for them each month. That I'll continue and I will help out with school trips and tutoring as they get older. I will leave them a small £2k legacy to be added to their ISA's. I am leaving rest to my 2nd DH of 15 years. I want him to be secure too. He has no children of his own but has helped me to bring up my children and dgc love him too. When he dies my DC will get more, but he has already said he would pass on more whildt he is alive as he enjoys seeing them prosper. If he dies first he is leaving similar to me and rest split equally between my 3 DC and small legacy for my dgs's and his own nieces child. If he dies after me he is leaving everything split equally between my 3 DC. He has told me my children feel like his own as he has brought them up with me and they get on do well. DH has a lot more wealth to leave than I do. I thought long and hard before making my will but I would never leave one child more than another as it puts a barrier between siblings when you are gone and I want my DC to support each other not be resentful of each other. My dd will get my jewelry. I can't see boys wanting it but they will choose from my other possessions. DH and I have s holiday home in France that is being left in a trust administered by my niece who is accountant and it says it can be used by all family members with my DC choosing 2 weeks first each then it's fcfs for rest of the year. If it is let for 2 or 3 weeks each year as LL costs will be met and mm oneynis vested to cover future costs. It can be sold in the future if all my DC agree but money from trust will be split between named recipients including my niece's and nephews and DH niece and her child. It is a complex but it works for us.

My Mum has left a percentage of her estate for her Grandchildren, born at the time of her death. That way, if any of us have more children (unlikely now), they will all be covered. The rest she has left to my sister and I.
She has gone through contortions about not wanting to leave her money to people she thinks are spendthrifts or undeserving but the trouble is, to say why in a Will is hurtful but if you don't explain, the excluded feel very hurt. Once you are dead, you can't convince anybody that you were just being practical so that hurt remains. If you love your offspring, why would you want to do that?

I am treating all my children the same, even though they are in different positions financially. but I am leaving separate legacies to the grandchildren. I have three GCs from one of my children, but there is still time for my other two children to produce further grandchildren, and I will do the same for them. It is important not to leave behind anything that can cause a family rift.

Leave things as they are. Nobody knows the future and your needs may well consume all the available money. With the will as it is no ill will can be generated.

Don't leave different amounts. If you talk to any solicitor, they will tell you that even the nicest families, with hitherto good sibling relationships, fall out after a parent has treated them unevenly. You are only looking at a snapshot in their lives now. What if either of the elder two were unfortunate enough to develop chronic health conditions? You just don't know. By all means, be generous with the young family NOW, but please don't differentiate in your Will. Another thing to beware of is that if you do not set up a Discretionary Trust for your house, there might be some nasty surprises for you or the family, should one of you require long-term care. Also, what happens if your DH pre-deceases you, or vice versa. I would advise consulting a Solicitor with special qualification in dealing with "Affairs of the Elderly" (I know - it's rotten name! .sfe.legal/who-are-sfe/ There are over 1600 solicitors in the UK who are members. I was widowed for a second time, and my late husband had a complicated family who did not necessarily agree with each other. Let me just say that the money we spent sorting out our legal affairs was well worth it for peace of mind and to stop squabbling.

I'll try the link again sfe.legal

Yes, that one seems to work!

I would leave it equally. It always causes resentment and ill feeling between siblings if they are treated differently. You don’t want to sour relationships between them.

Perhaps if you can afford to now, set up bank accounts for the grandchildren that you can either pay a lump sum into or a certain amount per month that will be accessible by them,at a certain age.
My mum took out endowment policies (if they still exist) and paid in each month, the policy matured when the grandchildren were 18, at that time, the cheque was made out to them.
I very much doubt that your youngest son will expect any extra than his third share, children or no children.

Having been on the receiving side of an unequal will distribution I would say leave each child the same. It will cause resentment if you do not. If you put yourself in your childrens place it will say to the ones without children well mum clearly was unhappy because we did not have children. I think it is up to your children to distribute their money to their children in due course and you give the options with an inheritance to do whatever they see best. It will ensure you leave a harmonious family in my opinion. Clearly your late husband was happy with this arrangement.

Our resentments often cause us to not give equally.How we discover that is hard work looking at ourselves. Until recently i was not going to give my DIL any ,as she was the most difficult person,Turned out she was mentally ill, as i suspected, now she is being treated, she is lovely! If you don't divide it equally it will cause resentment, and in any case you will be dead so does it matter?
The whole matter of wills not done equally causes resentment with ourselves and the recipients.