My neighbour is telling lies about me. What can I do?

Stop talking about others. Why on earth did you think it was acceptable to complain about her to her grandson? It actually sounds as if your street is a hotbed of nasty gossip.

Confront your neighbour calmly with these accusations, but have someone with you. Ask her simply if she has made them, and say if you hear any more you will report them to the police, then leave. If you do hear any more tell the person who repeats them to you that you are going to the police, and do it.

I spoke to her earlier today after I heard her repeating her accusations to her sister. She also said I had it in for her because she was "Gypsy". If she hears me in the garden she comes out and starts stirring. It is impossible to keep calm as she goes into shouting abuse mode. I suggested she either stopped or reported her "suspicions" to the Police. She said she would not stop and I said she could expect legal action. Previously she was accusing me of "interest" in the Grandson who sometimes lives with her - but it was pointed out that he was over 18 so she has switched it to his 15 year old cousin! I decided to report the allegations to the Police and ask their advice. I was actually googling the online contact details (not a 999 matter) when there was a knock at the door. It was her other neighbour. He was shaking. He had just got off the phone to the Police. He had been physically threatened by her son (who doesn't live around here) in front of his child a couple of days ago. Earlier today she was at his door verbally abusing and threatening. She has just been ouside in her garden, (sounds like she has been on the Vodka) yelling for me to come out.

The Police will be speaking to the other neighbour later in the week. He has given me the crime number so I can arrange for them to speak to me at the same time, if they wish.

I actually feel a bit sorry for her but after 15 months I can't take it any more. She has told me of her abused childhood, she never went to school, can't read or write and she lost a daughter in the most appalling circumstances imaginable. She has been offered Psychiatric help but has refused it and the Housing Association just keep moving her to different places as she becomes intolerable to her neighbours.

The really sad thing is, when she is in her right mind - and sober - she can be really nice, but those occasions are becoming rarer and rarer. Anyway, I will give up on online contact with the Police (website doesn't seem to be working) and try the 101 number.

In this situation, ignore the neighbours who are causing you grief. I don't have much to do with neighbours but we exchange pleasantries, that's fine by me. If yours cannot be civil- ignore and do not engage.

She sounds really horrible. One consolation is that I hope people will not believe that you're a paedophile with an interest in young boys. It's a pretty far-out accusation.
If they come to the conclusion she's making this up, they may realise that a lot of the other malice she's spreading is spite, too.

I don't know why people act like this. My mum has horrible neighbours but luckily for her, they're a fair distance away & she can easily avoid any contact or discussion of them.

You can only hope that if you all report the abuse she will be moved on yet again and become a problem for someone else.
Definitely speak to police about her and also the Council.
Keep away from her meantime as much as is possible.Don’t engage with her relatives either.

Don’t be sucked in, I think it’s Jackanory time.

The thing is Sago ( and I get what you’re saying) there really are people like that around.Mum had a near neighbour once who made life hell for everyone until she was moved by the Council.🤬

Sago, why would I make something like that up? Are you trolling? I had hoped I would not encounter trolls on this site.

I have spoken to the Police. Someone will be here to see me tomorrow. The two incidents (me and the other neighbour's) have been officially linked. They are taking it seriously.

All quiet here.

Some odd folk out there, that's sure.
My old Boss had a odd neighbour, (they lived in a Cul de Sac) this woman, had a personal vendetta against an old chap, who lived in the close, so she used to get up very early in the morning after the milkman had been. She would go around everyones house taking the Milk, then putting them all outside of this old chaps front door, he had dozens of bottles of milk by his his door .
She then apprently accused him of theft...
Needless to say, she eventually got Medical help.

Sago

Don’t be sucked in, I think it’s Jackanory time.

Aely has posted before. Maybe use research before your psychic powers

There's a similar situation in a village near where l live and it's causing huge problems for people. As the OP says the person concerned is just bounced from neighbourhood to neighbourhood, wreaking havoc wherever they go.

My guess is she will get bounced again.

In the case I knew[not the same scenario I know], the Police were just waiting for an opportunity, to move the person along again.

Yes, I have seen the op post a few times before. So genuine, as far as I know.

I just wish she had accepted the Psychiatric help she was offered a while back, but like my late husband, who was an alcoholic for years, she thinks it is everybody else who has the problem, not her. My dear departed didn't accept help until he woke up in hospital having been near death - and even then it took a bit of persuasion. The end result was that he enjoyed his final years - sober.

The fact that the police have responded so promptly makes it clear that she has a history and is already known to them. It also means that no one is going to believe the accusations she makes. And people with deranged minds like this will never accept help because they do not see themselves as needing it.

It is clear that it is not just you but other people she is making these wild accusations about. I think that as well as the police you need to complain regularly to the housing association , so that they have the evidence of constant complaints from neighbours to move her on again. Encourage your neighbours to complain to the housing association and the police and keep doing it. The more people who complain to the police and housing association, the sooner she will be moved.

I would also speak to Age Uk aout your problems. They may be able to put you in contact with people away from the sitution who can offer you help and support.

Meanwhile, ignore her. If she speaks to you, starts to abuse you, do not say a word, just turn on your heel and walk away, go into the house, do not answer the door when you know it is her. No matter what she does says, just do not engage with her. You have neighbours who are ssuffering as you are, so few will believe any of her accusations, anymore than you believe any of the accusations against your neighbours.

I don't have a spy-hole in my front door and the door window is "Privacy glazed", so I opened the door to her this morning. She was in tears, wanting to reconcile (according to her), possibly hoping I would withdraw my complaint? I sat her in my porch, said I was not being vindictive and hoped she would accept any help that was offered (By the Police!? No, perhaps a Psychiatrist). We gave each other a hug and off she went. I had a cuppa and started work in my front garden. Ten minutes later she turned up with my old friend (now her new best friend), from up the road who started berating me about "accusing poor M... of having teenagers in her house (for sexual purposes)". I said she had it the wrong way round. M... said she hadn't. Things started to get heated so I took Police advice, excused myself and went inside to calls of "you are running away because you know we are right". My answer "Just following Police advice" as I went in.

Later I had two approaches across the garden fence. One was ridiculous with her claiming she had hoped old friend and I could make up. One harmless if a little strange in parts but mostly about gardening.

Final knock on front door, while I was cooking my dinner tonight, was to ask what other neighbour (cadging cooking fat/oil 2 minutes previously) had said. She thought he had muttered something as he passed her house. How the @#*/ would I know?

I have logged the convos in the diary I have started - as I don't have a smart phone (which the Police suggested for recording).

Hopefully, tomorrow will bring no unwelcome visitors, just the mobility scooter doctor, who will attempt to diagnose and cure my poorly scooter.
I will now keep the diary updated as necessary and wait for the Police to do whatever they plan to do.

Thanks for the advice offered and the understanding comments. Don't worry, I have no intention of giving a daily run-down but if you are interested in the final outcome, keep an eye out. It might take some time though.

Aely, do not speak to this neighbour at all. if anyone comes to the door, open it a crack and if it is her, close it again - and log it as an incident in your diary. Ignore her when she speaks to you in the garden and blank her in the street. But if she says or does anything, note it down.

While you respond to her she can misreport and say you responded negatively and threatened her. Just do not respond at all. Shut the door, walk straight by, do not say anything.

Aely, slander is illegal. Whether the woman is mentally ill or not is beside the point that slander is illegal for a reason; it's dangerous.

Take MOnica's advice.

You are still engaging with her Aely after all the advice given so really you are as much to blame as she is
Monica has given you good advice you DO NOT under any circumstance speak, hug, offer a drink, sit her down or do anything at all with this lady as it will ALL be misinterpreted
Next she ll say the hug was a sexual come on and the cup of tea will have been poisoned etc etc
You really do have to cut all acknowledgement of her ….in the garden, the porch, the street or it will all be turned around against you
Keep your diary of the times she knocks or tries to speak to you but DO NOT engage
If you haven’t got a spy glass in the door look thorough the letter box or nearest window

This…

Sadly Sago we have someone like this in our extended family.
I could write a book about their extreme behaviour.
They are under the care of the local Psychiatric team and when taking the meds can be quite normal, but when they decide not to take them it is a nightmare for family and neighbours.
It is diagnosed as Bi-polar disorder, previously known as Schizophrenia.
They have been sectioned twice and on model behaviour when in the unit but once out and meds are dropped it all starts again.
It is incredibly stressful and sad for nearest and dearest.

Is this real? I’ve never read anything so odd in my life!

Sorry to argue Usedtobeblond but schizophrenia and bi polar are not the same thing at all they are two different conditions

Oh I am sorry, misinformed again.
I only know it is very bad and very unsettling for all affected.
The OP’s neighbour may well be ill but it doesn’t affect how OP is troubled greatly by the behaviour.
The person known by me has behaved horrendously to neighbours who have done nothing but try to help them.