Happiness

My periods stopped overnight when I was about 46 and I thought it was fantastic to be rid of that monthly nuisance.

Very sorry to hear of your problem Loobs. I try to plan things to look forward to each day, eg a cinema trip, usually alone. A meal in a pub with OH, that sort of thing. Anything to block out the worries. Good luck with everything.

Fresh air and exercise will certainly help, I have just come back from a cycle ride where I spent nearly as much time talking to strangers in a cafe as I did cycling and I feel on top of the world. Also recommend the vit D but needs to be taken with calcium to work, my Dr tested my levels and Found I was extremely low on both vit D and folic acid, taking the supplements precscribed has given me a lift and more energy. Also took HRT at about 40 until 56 which was the best thing I ever did. So I would say get yourself checked out and try to get outside for some form of exercise. Hope you improve soon.

Feeling exactly the same. Trying counselling at the moment. It is helping me not to be so negative and also making me aware of valuing the positives but I still cannot seem to feel anything. Comforting to know I'm not alone. It's a work in progress at the moment. Good luck to all of us working on it.

I'd recommend having a look at the Action for Happiness website. Their 10 keys to happier living are very simple suggestions that should help, but you've got to want to make the change yourself as no-one can do it for you. I shot through the menopause in about 9mths flat while having to take drugs post breast cancer treatment. Life is different now but still joyful.

Looks, are you sure the hypothyroidism is under control? Maybe it needs reviewing and that's why you feel so flat. Hope things get better.

Sorry, I meant to type Loobs.

Ladies, I find this thread great......just GREAT. Thank you all. It's so full of positivity and 'plus' thinking even when the chips are a little bit down. Indeed there's personal difficulty and anxiety intermingled but by a vast majority it's bursting with forward thinking, great attitudes and sheer joy for the good bits we are so fortunate to have and recognise. More power to all our elbows! Onwards and......here comes summer......yippee!

Yes a big yippeeeee from me too. Well said Kim19.

What a wonderful positive post ! Thanks to everyone for your input, I now am able to articulate what Ive been feeling the past ten years or more, the " underlying depression" and the anxiety, but the upwards and onwards that I strive for day and daily really does help. Its a work in progress, but I know cliched as it sounds, I do try and get out and about and embrace nature plus I really am thankful for so much in my life. Ive struggled with various family problems, doesnt everyone? , and now I love " the mundane days" My mood def improves as the spring approaches and gives way to summer and the lovely bright mornings helps enormously. I try to factor in something each day, no matter how insignificant , that brings me joy. Today its going to the garden centre, where I hope to purchase some plants for the garden and have a coffee whilst Im there. I endorse what the other lady said about wouldnt it be great if we could all meet round the table for a natter LOL

I do believe there could be a way of meeting up for some of us and retaining our anonymity. How about something like be at ???????? somewhere very central in various big cities. If a few turn up - great; if none sobeit. Thinking caps please you innovative members........ This is my initial and rough thought. Work on it, improve and refine it you clever grans whom I know are part of this group. I await ideas with gusto.

I too seem to have lack of joy as my default setting. I have a lot to be grateful for and I do try, but so many bad things have happened I sometimes feel that there is more bad in life than good. It's very hard at times although I do agree that 'getting out there' is of help.

May I now fully and unreservedly withdraw that suggestion for meet-ups. The more I think of the negatives, the more I realise my brain was not fully in gear. Sorry people........ I'm now feeling like an idiot and deservedly so.

Kim you are certainly not an idiot. It's an idea with great potential. X

The Gransnet meetups in Edinburgh are great sessions. Lots of chat. Definitely a good thing.

Just been to a meet up in Edinburgh and met some lovely women. As long as you aren't obsessive about your anonymity, it is a great idea. Putting faces to names makes GN communication more meaningful.

Re postmenopausal feelings, it is a mixed bag for me. Since the menopause I have felt more comfortable in my own skin and not so concerned about what people think about me. No more periods has meant feeling less up and down in mood. I like the feeling of being on an even keel emotionally. The down side is the increasing slow down of the body, aches and pains and bits falling apart. But being a 'cancer survivor' very small things make me feel good and I am generally grateful to be still alive with a good husband, caring children, lovely grandchildren and of course my beloved dog. Not everyone is so fortunate, I know.

I find making a list of things to do and doing them keeps me from sitting and brooding about the woes of life. And so agree about getting out and walking if you can. Here are some to lift the spirits of those feeling a bit down at the moment.

I've read this thread with interest and totally agree with the "feeling 90%" as I get older, though I've not linked it with being post menopausal before. Like most here, I appreciate the every day things like a sunny day or spring flowers and try to exercise daily, but the joy and highs I used to get seem to have gone.
My current positive is that, as two sons have just left home, it's great to cook just for me and not clear up after anyone else.

Only just catching up with this thread and reassured that so many of us feel the same way. I never linked it with the menopause (seems light years away now) but to a glass half-empty outlook that has plagued me since my dear departed Dad imbued me with negativity from an early age. I also link it to retirement and a lack of a specific raison d'etre and to the ongoing anxiety of being alongside my Mum, as she slips into her 93rd year with attendant mental decline. Then I remember that happiness is not a right - I rather think it is a fleeting emotion and I experience it from time to time - mostly when with our adorable GS. Mindfulness helps to remind me to live in the moment - "worry just pulls tomorrow's clouds over today's sunshine". "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain" and then "Happiness is not getting what you want, it's wanting what you have". There is some sound advice in all these sayings and whilst I don't go around feeling on top on the world very often, I do remind myself how lucky I am to be alive and healthy and to have all that I do. I think I'll try the Ad-Cal supplements mentioned - my Mum has them, so why shouldn't I?? With regard to meeting up with other Gransnetters - there are local groups and I notice GN is advertising for local editors .....

"Worry just pulls tomorrow's clouds over today's sunshine" Love this Heather. I must pass it on to some of the extreme worriers I know.

I feel exactly the same since I had my womb removed when I was fifty one. .I am now 68 and still get problems. sometimes my mood is low and I don't know why .I do not want to take even more tablets. .I find I feel better if I go out even if it is just for a hour or so .I also find I feel better if I have company and i am not on my own all the time.I wish you all the best.

My mood is low 90 o/of the time and I get so lonely I could jump off an cliff.

for you wot I don't know your circumstances so can't really offer any advice. Walking and getting out and about is great advice if your physically able but that's not always the case for some. It must be miserable if your housebound. It's one of my fears and I realise it could happen to any of us almost in a blink of an eye. That's what keeps my pecker up a bit, knowing that we have to make the best of what we've got now. My DiL has been an inspiration to me during her illness. She's taught me to be grateful and live in the moment. Not easy for a anxiety ridden pessimist like me but I keep trying.

ps Wouldn't it be wonderful if there was a way to adapt Kim 19 idea so we gransnetters could befriend those of us that are unable to get out for the occasional chat/visit.

wot

I am in sympathy with you Loobs. Horrible to feel like that though and not know if you'll ever feel as you used to again. I've been caught up with my husband in looking after my parents who have had Alzheimer's this last five years. Dad died in January and mum is in a residential home but when they were living in the family home nearby we were over there constantly sorting out all sorts! It definitely changed me mentally. I am just in this 'grey light' all the time and can't seem to shake it off. However walking is a real help and it does change my mental state so that if I've gone out feeling grim I always come home feeling better even if it's just a half hour walk. Sex - what is that? Memory is poor and I feel I can't switch on properly. I have two children both in they thirties and two grandsons. They are a joy and a big distraction when they come to stay but as soon as life is 'normal' the cloud descends. I take anti depressants and have done for a long time but recent events with mum and dad have made life too sad really. But, I think you have to do the best for yourself. Look after yourself as well you can. So best foot forward! Mindfulness helps and when I am self disciplined enough, meditation!! Oh, and don't think about D Trump, that helps too