Happiness

I have thought deeply about this thread and recall being 'happy' three times in my life. One, spending an afternoon in bed with a partner, two, after the birth of DS1 and three, being alone in my own home when last DS left home and choosing what do do for myself! None of these lasted more than a few days.

I am a very positive person on the surface, and feel better after exercise, walking, being with friends and family and all the usual stuff. I keep healthy and have a good diet have lots of interests and am not really 'depressive' but honestly and truly cannot remember being 'happy' except for those three occasions.

Yes I have had tough times but not as tough as some of you on here.

wot I know how you feel. My only answer is to get away from home and talk to strangers. I chat to supermarket checkout people, strangers in queues, bus passengers, people in doctor's waiting rooms and generally anybody near! I have always been quite shy so this takes some effort but usually you find out something about them and it gives you something else to think about apart from yourself.

If you can't get out of the house try internet chatlines and forums though I admit I only know of this one which has helped me a lot even though I don't always post.

I actually think that happiness, like love is greatly over rated. (shock, horror, controversial!!!)

Grandma, thanks! I often talk to strangers in shops and do enjoy it a lot! Even just a few words brightens the day.

Day 3 of walking at least 3 miles in the morning. I have enjoyed it - headphones on and listening to 60's / 70's music, clapping, playing 'air drums' and generally behaving like a loon because I am walking through fields where no-one can see me.
I lay in bed this morning and thought about all your comments on here - you are all wonderful to have taken the time to post - and tried to work out what I could take from the replies and what might work for me. I see a definite theme with regards to owning a dog - they seem to give a lot of you great happiness and I may one day get one but that is not possible at this time. The mindfulness suggestions are interesting - I have read both of the Ruby Wax books regarding this and found them excellent - I do practise this when I remember and have found it really useful in banishing negative thoughts, but not so much as a panacea for happiness generally?
I have decided that this morning I am going to de-clutter my house to see if that will lighten my mood. It will be tricky because my husband is paranoid about getting rid of anything - we have so much 'junk' that he holds onto for a variety of reasons (we can sell it/ we might need it / it seems a waste to get rid of it) so I am mentally girding my loins for the battle ahead. Wish me luck.

I dont know how long its been since your menopause but it may still be connected,my sister will be 68 next month and she has gone back on HRT (evorel conti) because of issues like this and others.Might be worth asking your GP for a referral to the menopause clinic to check it out ,even if they dont give you HRT they might have some solution to your problem.My sister said she felt she'd lost her emotions...rarely cried OR laughed ,sounds similar to what you are saying

HRT patches seem to work better for a lot of people than pills ,they certainly have for me

Thanks paddyann, I think I may look at this - I have been so anti HRT and determined not to take anything for the menopause but several people have said this might help so I will arrange to see my GP in the next few weeks (abroad currently) to look at the whole issue.

What a great thread this has been. Like so many of the other posters I too have suffered from these feelings but thought it was just the result of retirement and solitude coupled with health and family problems plus living on a tight budget. I'd never linked it to menopause but it certainly helps to know that this is a factor.

Walking and/or gardening help keep me on an even keel most days as of course does Gransnet.

Good luck and hugs to all.

Try taking vitamin D, I feel better since taking it. Having a dog is also a great incentive to go out for a walk and you meet lots of new people.
I could retire now but have to decideded to drop to 2 days a week instead, think its the fear of giving work up altogether as I do enjoy my job.(May regret it when summers here)

Hoping it's not too late to comment here (I'm a forum virgin) but the op and many of the following comments have resonated with me so much. My menopause was a bit odd as it had just started when I was diagnosed with breast cancer and the subsequent chemo/radiotherapy meant a sudden shut down hormone wise (I think). Now, 8 years later I feel so grateful to still be here and able to enjoy my 2 gorgeous grandchildren - but I do feel my top layer of happiness and the ability to really feel 'joy' has disappeared! However, all of the comments on here have really helped: in a practical way (am trying to walk daily) and also in knowing I'm not alone in this. So a huge thank you