Privileged Pain

Very well put Monica, a very good point well written.

And a big hug.

You have expressed your opinion, using your computer no I didn't. Silly post.

I see you have not personally lost a child notanan no, but I have listened to anger towards DC expressed by some who have.

And I can understand why they feel that way.

And others may not feel that way.

There was a discussion on this forum about two young boys whose mother had died, it was said because they had wealth it
helped their grief because they could afford the best counselling, have holidays to take their mind off their grief.

Why oh who do some think money eases grief , nothing eases
grief

Not grief itself, no

But layers of anger and sadness can be added on top of the grief, sometimes even taking over and disallowing the person to grieve, when they death comes after a long catalogue of failures at the hand/mercy of the system, or even because of those failures.

and layers of hardship and poverty.

Not to decry anything you may have suffered Notanan2.
Everything is relative isn’t it , still now in 2019. We still see/ watch programmes of starving children.
Grief affects all who have suffered loss. You are suggesting wealth would help grief it doesn’t, it helps their day to day living that they don’t have extra to worry about, but it does not ease the pain of their Grief.

So notanan I deduce that you accept my proposition that if money makes grief easier, impoverished parents will also have their grief easied by no longer having the financial pressures of the cost of looking after a disabled child and will therfeore have more money in their pockets.

When you cant afford to bury your child,guilt is added to the mix,that you cant give them the very best funeral.Undertakers I have dealt with demand payment up front.

If you are on a low income,and cannot insure your own life,as well as that of your child,other children in the family need consideration of their needs as well.If you are on a low income/ benefits you are unlikely to get a loan.

How do I know this,I have buried two children.

Money wouldnt have taken my grief away,but the pain and struggle for the funerals wouldnt have been added to the grief I felt then and will continue to feel until the day I draw my last breath

I think it must have been a rogue journo put the article out, though how it got past editing I can't imagine. So unlike the Guardian.

Speaks for itself that money makes no difference to the loss of a child, of course.

I agree, a rogue journo....possibly one of those kind caring socialists we hear so much about.

I would have and still would give everything I have ever owned to have one day back with my child. 35 years later it still affects me and his sisters.

I see you have not personally lost a child notanan no, but I have listened to anger towards DC expressed by some who have.

And I can understand why they feel that way.

And others may not feel that way
The experience of others is not first hand experience.

I am so sorry downtoearth

lemongrove Is it really appropriate to bring politics up, in order to make a nasty remark about socialists?

downtoearth That is dreadful to hear. My heart goes out to you.

downtoearthand I think thats all "notanan" was saying ,the grief is compounded by the worry ,the lack of finance the other children listening to their mother crying because she cant do more .Shame some took it the wrong wayNobody says money takes away grief but like many other aspects of life NOT having the money for a simple funeral or something to take a childs mind off a death or crying yourself to sleep because you couldn't afford the things they needed just makes life harder .My heart goes out to you when you lose a child the first thing you do is blame yourself even when there were enough funds for necessities,how much more difficult when you didn't .Maybe you should talk to someone about it ,its never too late .

Politics was brought into it before lemon posted

If it wasn’t about partisan politics, Ilovecheese, then the journalist would have Gordon Brown’s bereavement and ‘privileged pain’ into the equation.

Why would he have brought Gordon Brown into it? Gordon Brown had not just released his memoirs.
Annibach why try to make political capital at all over this article? That is, in my opinion, just as bad as making a political point in the article. If you think it was wrong of the journalist, then it is just as wrong here.

Ilovecheese I did not bring politics into this , you must have skipped posts which did.

Oh downtoearth, I'm so sorry your experiences are unbearable.

I can see this thread has opened a can of worms and I take the point that some have made, poverty exacerbates an already heartbreaking experience, in having to deal with the necessary financial expenses that are incurred with the death of a close relative.

The point I was making, grief cannot be assuaged by money, although of course the tragedy of death for a loved one is further compounded by the lack of it, in dealing with the aftermath. I nevertheless think it's inappropriate and very wrong to try and minimise or suggest that a death of a child is more bearable if the parents are wealthy. I always remember my husband had a client who was also a very good friend. He and his wife had a daughter who died aged 9 after a long illness. They even went on to have another child after that. The death of their child affected them in different ways, the father lost his religion, the mother, in spite of having two other children, thereafter was literally mad with grief and depression, she simply couldn't get past that, they had plenty of money it didn't help. Sadly it split them up.

I don't think anyone who has never lost a child should speculate, or try and interpret the feelings of someone who has.

Of course politics comes into it! You don’t seriously think the journalist was a Conservative voter do you?
It’s the politics of envy, the ‘ look, he’s a toff, so he doesn't deserve the same level ( or any level) of sympathy or empathy.’
I did think the Guardian was better than that, but obviously not.

I wrote a post in support of David Cameron on another thread which was critical of his talking about his grief. But as I said before, it is wrong to score political points over this, whether in the article or on here, in my opinion.

No it darn well isn’t Ilovecheese....it’s completely relevant and explains why the journo wrote it.