Gender? Sex? Help me out please.

Galaxy

Its what we used in the 90 's gagajo when faced with such homobhobia.

How is it homophobic to write the truth? I could give names, dates and reasons, if it wasn't an invasion of their privacy.

Going back to the OP's question, I think that this strong reaction to the reports of transmen in womens' spaces is a "dog whistle" signal from the right wing press on a par to the "immigrants get council houses while real British people are homeless" or "black people play the race card to get everything we can't get"".

The actual threats are miniscule but populism is all about fear of the "other".

Yes varian none of us women can think for ourselves. You keep telling us how stupid we are.

I am not frightened ofctranswonen please stop saying things that just arent true.

I quite frightened of my typing skills though.

varian that's the truth

There is usually a few very old very rich white men behind it all somewhere and the odd old white rich woman who puts profit before people

Oh I give up

Or power or fame

Exactly Varian. The 0.01% that are fake/a threat come to represent the 99.9% who just want to pass.

VS and GagaJo you are obviously bisexual so will include both sexes in your dating pool.

GJ If your lesbian friends are open to sex with men then they're bisexual, they are not lesbians who are homosexual women. The same as any gay men that will have sex with women, they're bisexual not homosexual men.

I know those women who are in prison who want single sex spaces, the power and wealth that they hold. Those detransitioners who are telljng their stories, what power they hold. Right wing bigots led by the media the lot of them

Rosie51

It's not that simple at all actually and it also isn't the point so it's a shame it's been seized on, I shouldn't have mentioned it

Rosie51

VS and GagaJo you are obviously bisexual so will include both sexes in your dating pool.

GJ If your lesbian friends are open to sex with men then they're bisexual, they are not lesbians who are homosexual women. The same as any gay men that will have sex with women, they're bisexual not homosexual men.

You don't get to label anyone other than yourself Rosie. That's just how it is.

I'd like to see you tell some of my lezzer mates they're not lesbian because they've dated men. ?

VioletSky

Dickens I think I can see why you have responded as you have but, that's not what I was saying...

You were being honest and trying to make a point

It's just that is a point that doesn't need making out there in general life though does it? So it's not really necessary to say

Anyone that I don't find attractive someone else will so why would I make any demographic feel bad about themselves by stating what I don't find attractive? Why would I make any 1 individual feel bad by saying it to their face? I certainly am not wonderful or beautiful enough that anyone else is beneath me in attractiveness anyway.

We can keep our personal preferences to ourselves and instead of saying "i would never date xyz" simply say, we all have the freedom to chose who we have a relationship with

I'm saying

I won't ever agree with people saying "I won't date people who..."

I agree people get to choose who they have relationships with

Same thing but a different approach

The reason I said I was not attracted to overweight men was not to 'other' them as a group, but to illustrate the point I was attempting to make - which is that you cannot 'help' (for want of a better word) who attracts you and who doesn't.

And if the subject of some lesbians refusing to have sex with trans women who sport beards (if it's true, and if indeed they are being criticised for it) I wouldn't have mentioned it at all.

I would not say "I won't date men who are fat". I was just being honest - probably unwisely - in saying I hadn't been attracted to them to demonstrate the very personal nature of this whole issue.

I suppose I can use it to make a point actually.

If I said that I would never date a trans person then the obvious answer would be that I discrimante against trans people wouldn't it? Because I'm not opposed to whatever genitals people have or don't have

That's the danger in saying "I wouldn't date xyz" it is a discriminatory statement

You could just.... Not date them?

Is that's not better than making a demographic feel bad about themselves?

Dickens I'm really trying here, I agree with you. I just don't feel it is necessary to actually say it.

Can you see the disconnect here?

I am a woman I dont feel bad as part of that demographic because gay men dont want to date me.

Are you saying lesbians and gay men should go back in the closet VS. Shhh dont mention that you are only attracted to women.

VioletSky

varian that's the truth

There is usually a few very old very rich white men behind it all somewhere and the odd old white rich woman who puts profit before people

This is another statement that needs some evidence to support - or it makes no sense

Galaxy

Are you saying lesbians and gay men should go back in the closet VS. Shhh dont mention that you are only attracted to women.

Why would you say that Galaxy?

VioletSky

varian that's the truth

There is usually a few very old very rich white men behind it all somewhere and the odd old white rich woman who puts profit before people

VioletSky - why do you say old?

Perhaps she's thinking of Rupert Murdoch or the remaining Barclay twin.

Can I just say that there is now a phobia being raised on this thread about old rich white women and men.

I am not ashamed to admit to DH and I being in that demographic.

I would also like to point out that two couples who have been friends of ours for over thirty years are - a married female couple and a married male couple.

GagaJo

Rosie51

VS and GagaJo you are obviously bisexual so will include both sexes in your dating pool.

GJ If your lesbian friends are open to sex with men then they're bisexual, they are not lesbians who are homosexual women. The same as any gay men that will have sex with women, they're bisexual not homosexual men.

You don't get to label anyone other than yourself Rosie. That's just how it is.

I'd like to see you tell some of my lezzer mates they're not lesbian because they've dated men. ?

Oh OK, I get it.

I'm a vegan who enjoys, dairy, meat and fish as well as plants.

I imagine that the majority of Gransnetters are old white folk, but not billionaire newspaper proprietors.