Coming out as transgender

No, we are reading from the same page

grannydarkhair

Just looked at my emails, and there’s one from Graham Linehan’s substack (I don’t know how to do links).
JW sounds like a thoroughly disreputable type. He was a councillor for a year prior to being an MP, but never attended even one meeting. He’s lied about his educational background, his business interests, he fled from the scene of the crash before police arrived so could be neither tested for drugs nor breathalysed.
Yes, it’s awful that he was raped, but he’d “hooked up” with a man online, agreed to consensual sex with a condom which the man then refused to wear and instead raped him. Nice to see how much he honours his marriage vows. And obviously didn’t think about his children if any of this was made public.
Is this really the standard of MP that the Conservative Party thinks this country deserves?

He's obviously got troubles.

However, Bridgend deserves better.

JaneJudge I’m not married, but if a husband told me he “wants” to be transgender, then I would hope I would try to be supportive to him in his new life style, but the marriage itself would be over. I’m sorry but I couldn’t be as strong as eg Debbie Hayton’s wife.
If he and his wife have separated, then I’m glad. Who would want a man like this for a husband? Could you ever trust him again?
I’m cynical enough to even doubt if he was raped. From what I’ve read, he’s lied about so much in his life, why not that?

I’m cynical enough to even doubt if he was raped. From what I’ve read, he’s lied about so much in his life, why not that?

I will just say that I'm sure I've read recently the law says if he consented to penetrative sex on the basis a condom would be worn, and after the act discovered that in fact it hadn't been, that counts as rape. There was no informed consent to the removal, or non wearing, of a condom.

Yes, I believe that's true, too, Rosie.

Funny that informed consent doesn't seem so important when it comes to who women want to allow to touch them, isn't it?

with lady penis

Rosie51 Yes, that rings a bell with me too. However, I would argue we only have JW’s version of what happened, and as I’ve said, can he be believed?
The nice, kind side of me wants to think that he’s a troubled, traumatised soul who’s suffered since childhood with gender dysphoria and he just wants to start living the life he’s always wanted to live, and he should be supported in that.
The realist part of me doubts every word he’s said.

Yes its rape under Uk law. I beleve people when they say they are raped.

Doodledog

Yes, I believe that's true, too, Rosie.

Funny that informed consent doesn't seem so important when it comes to who women want to allow to touch them, isn't it?

Doodledog when will you learn that informed consent is relevant to men not women? It's probably that our pretty little heads couldn't cope with the concept. Think fluffy kittens and you'll be fine.

Think pink fluffy kittens and you’ll be even better ?

He says he is trans or wants to be. Really? Why isn’t he doing something about it then? Still prefers he and his pronouns. I suspect it’s just a ruse to get himself off the hook. It is a disservice to real trans people.

It is a disservice to real trans people.

It really is. One possible glimmer of hope in this sorry tale is that this, combined with the sports cheats will tip even more people into seeing through the nonsense, separate misogynist TRAs and allies from 'genuine' transpeople and allies, and we can all start to move towards meaningful conversations about how to be fair to everyone whilst disadvantaging nobody.

I feel sorry for his wife and small children.

His constituents are being short-changed.
They had been complaining about his lack of response to them before this announcement.

Dear God in Heaven.

What a shocking thread.

Get your knitting out, the guillotine's being sharpened.

So much victim blaming

volver

Dear God in Heaven.

What a shocking thread.

Get your knitting out, the guillotine's being sharpened.

Silly post.

He's an MP, his constituents feel let down because he isn't responding to their problems which is why he was elected.

That's his job, to represent them in Parliament, to listen to them, to respond to them.
He could be making a real difference with his intelligent brain.

Some of you can't see the wood for the trees.

Were you all posting about how awful he was yesterday, before we knew his story?

Would you tell a female MP that you didn't believe she'd be raped and she was just making the story up for sympathy? Would you say "who'd want a woman like this for their wife"?

Actually, some of you would, wouldn't you?

I’m completely confused by all this. Is this a man who yearns to be female or it it a woman who identifies as a man? Presumably whoever raped them had a penis, did they? Gawd!

volver

Were you all posting about how awful he was yesterday, before we knew his story?

Would you tell a female MP that you didn't believe she'd be raped and she was just making the story up for sympathy? Would you say "who'd want a woman like this for their wife"?

Actually, some of you would, wouldn't you?

Not me.

Please stop accusing me of things.
What are you trying to do?

If his constituents were complaining that they were not being listened to then their MP is failing them.
He must start listening to their concerns too.
Whatever our private worries, if we have a jobz/career we should still try to do it to the best of our ability

I think it is awful that he was raped whatever situation he put himself into

It does seem clear he seems quite a complex character and maybe that is why people are concerned about changes to law. We are repeatedly told on threads that people don't change gender to avoid being charged for committing offences or in order to commit them but there seems to be a growing modern trend within men identifying as trans to avoid being associated with their crimes and in some cases doing so to gain access to vulnerable women/people also. It is OK to discuss that.

Not me. I do think the fact that he ran a sleazy Sugar Daddy business, had many many complaints about his business, been in bother with Trading standards and others, had failed to attend any local council meetings and was sacked.......All of these things concern me. His trans status does not. His trans status should not be used to excuse his other short comings as a representative of his constituents. His rape was dreadful.

JaneJudge

I think it is awful that he was raped whatever situation he put himself into

It does seem clear he seems quite a complex character and maybe that is why people are concerned about changes to law. We are repeatedly told on threads that people don't change gender to avoid being charged for committing offences or in order to commit them but there seems to be a growing modern trend within men identifying as trans to avoid being associated with their crimes and in some cases doing so to gain access to vulnerable women/people also. It is OK to discuss that.

Exactly.

And it's ok to discuss it without sexist and superior comments suggesting that women enjoy watching executions.

As to whether people were saying this yesterday - speaking for myself, no, as I hadn't heard of him until the trans story broke at the same time as the ones about pimping out women and leaving the scene of an accident he'd caused by driving under the influence. It's not remotely 'victim blaming' or ghoulish to question whether the timing may just have been too coincidental to be accidental.

Who are the 'some of you' who would say 'who'd want a women like this for a wife?', and on what do you base that remark? It seems very specific for a throwaway comment.

Don't get me wrong. I have no time for him as a Tory MP and his "business interests" sound dodgy to say the least.

But I suspect very few of us were concerned enough about him 2 days ago to devote a whole thread to his shortcomings, but now, now that he fits in with the "used trans for his own ends" stereotype, he's fair game.

It has been said on this thread that his rape is fictitious and one poster said "Who would want a man like that for a husband". I quote. So it wasn't my throwaway comment.

I think it's quite valid to compare this approach to the story of his assault and personal problems with what would be said to a woman in the same circumstances.

Volver Before yesterday, I’d never heard of JW. But between then and when I first posted I took the time to read up on him. There’s lots of info about him out there and none of it is complementary. If it wasn’t for the fact that he has been proved to be a consistent liar in many areas, then I would have much less cause to doubt him.
If he was raped, then yes I have sympathy. If he has gender dysphoria, then yes, he should be given appropriate support to transition. And in all honesty, I find it difficult to believe that most women would behave in such a shoddy manner in every aspect of their lives so as threaten the happiness of their children.
He put himself into a totally vulnerable position by hooking up with someone of the same sex as himself outwith his marriage. It’s irrelevant to me whether he’s transgender or homosexual, if he was married at that time, then he betrayed his marriage vows. Now that might not mean very much to a lot of people nowadays but it does to others.
And as others have said, what about his duties as an MP to his constituents? If he is suffering so severely from PTSD, then why did he not resign? That would have been the honourable thing to do imo.

Gosh, I wish I was as well adjusted and perfect as some of the other Grans. Then I could judge other people and make the world a better place.