In laws nasty when we took our new dog round. We didn't expect them to ask the dog inside.

Have you every actually had a dog?

They do make messes

Although, apparently, according to you, dogs all share consciousness so they are all identical. But somehow you don’t feel the dogs are dogs.

I think you're being over sensitive. Like anybody, he assumed you'd bring your dog in.

I'm sure he understood you weren't going to bring the dog in AFTER you explained it. I hardly believe a person you'd bought presents for would refuse to understand anything so simple.

You love your dog. He doesn't. That's it.

Some people don't like dogs in their homes, my sister never used to let my first dog or my following dog in her house as she reckoned it would upset the cat, I would have to leave it in my car. When she got a dog 2 years ago suddenly she decided that dogs should be welcome everywhere, including other relatives who don't like dogs and have cats. When she brings her round my house it always deficates on my garden or several times in my house, her attitude is well I was in a rush to come and didn't get a chance to walk it! I agree with others, if you turn up at someone's door with a dog, its inferred that you hope to bring it in, saying you are willing to take it home again would make the householder feel uncomfortable, especially if you are telling them you had brought it with you to show his wife, so you were expecting to go inside with it. Some dogs are excitable, new dogs are an unknown, you have said sil cant go out alone, so bil might think the risk of an unknown dog jumping about is too great. Try going back round and explaining you hadn't thought it through and not to let it spoil your relationship

Ticking bird, I think you misread OP, she said they had been invited round, so when they turn up with presents and dog, it's obvious they expected to be welcomed in, even if they say, after arriving for their visit, that they hadn't planned on coming in with dog, it's obvious that they had planned on taking it in with them, or it wouldn't be with them.

Don't let this incident damage your relationship going forward into the future. Go and see them. Apologise you had the dog with you previously and move on. Family relationships are too important to let this little incident damage them.

Just re-read the first sentence. If you had been invited round then you do need to ask ‘is it ok to bring the dog?’

Have kept reading all the posts over the last couple of days. You should have taken the presents, told them about the new dog when you were there, then asked if they would like to see it- you could easily have walked it down a bit later.
Your brother-in-law was probably taken unawares, and what he said came out all wrong.
It’s a shame if both your Christmas’s have been marred, which I bet they have, when a bit more thought would have avoided it all.

However, hindsight is a wonderful thing!

Well then, don't see them again! Your generosity fell on stony ground - why, I can't imagine - and you need to preserve it for people who deserve it (hey that rhymes). Sadly being related to someone is no guarantee that they will respond as you'd like. Concentrate on making 2020 a Happy New Year!

Classic I take your point, even though you did make it without full stops and I was rather out of breath by the time I reached the end! However, once the OP had explained they didn’t intend to bring new dog in BIL should have calmed down.

My point was Notanan and her propensity to post repeatedly on certain threads, usually in an antagonistic manner, with, what seems to me, the aim of belittling the OP. It’s something I’ve noticed since I’ve been on GN. Although we don’t have to agree on issues and it is a forum for discussion, some people do get aggressive and unnecessarily belligerent. There are those that love the sound of their own voice and, as we all know, social media can bring out the worst in people, cloaking them in the added security of anonymity.

I just wonder why a certain Gransnetter feels the need to get so involved in threads. Make your point and move on surely?

Don't like dogs. Don't want them in my home. No apologies. No explanations. My house. My rules. Like it or lump it.

I just wonder why a certain Gransnetter feels the need to get so involved in threads. Make your point and move on surely?

You have already previously posted on this thread to say that you dont like me/my posts/my point of view. Yet you are STILL derailing the thread with your personal opiniom of me, why don't YOU either move on, or get back to the topic at hand?

I know what it is like to have kindness thrown back in my face by an in-law. I have done so much to help and support their family, at their request as well as offering myself. It is hurtful when someone you try to love and care for, in whatever respect, is so hard and downright rude.

It sounds like there was something else going on that caused the BiL to snap a bit - and maybe he felt that if he agreed to you taking to dog home and then coming back he’d come across as the bad one for ‘forcing’ you to leave a newly acquired dog on its own. We’re you really planning on just showing your SiL the dog on the doorstep? Many people would feel duty bound to invite visitors in, dog and all, even if they didn’t want to.

I hope you can all move past this. It’s difficult when pets and children are involved as they can cause rifts in families who are different expectations about how they should be treated and how they should behave.

there are 2 kinds of folk who have dogs,DOG LOVERS or dog owners. The latter often leave their dogs behind when they move home, which often happens here in Dubai. They dont want to pay for their animals to fly with them to their next home. Disgraceful

Unless your intentions are for a stop over then leave your dog at home.

Even DOG LOVERS don't all expect their pets to accompany them on ALL visits to ALL people. The dogs don't expect it either, unless they have been brought up to be top of the pile, which is not a happy place for a dog among humans- they then have to make all the decisions and be leaders to their "pack". That is a hard life for a pooch.

There is only one reason I'd not invite a dog into my house and it's nothing to do with carpets and clean. My dog is safe in her own home and is afraid of aggressive or bouncy large dogs and she must always feel safe in her own home.

"there are 2 kinds of folk who have dogs,DOG LOVERS or dog owners. The latter often leave their dogs behind when they move home, which often happens here in Dubai. They dont want to pay for their animals to fly with them to their next home. Disgraceful"

I bet St Peter knows which is which

Reading these posts, I've come to the conclusion that the two types of people who have dogs are 1) dog owners and 2) haters of non-dog-owners (though that's the politest way I could think of off-hand to label this second group)!

I find it quite fascinating that whenever there is a post regarding animals, it always comes back to who likes or who doesn't regardless of the original post. 6 pages of it! bahaha.

The original post was about a response to her brother in law's reaction and OP feeling hurt because he wouldn't listen to her.

The scenario - as I see it! OP devastated about losing her dog and gets a new pup (not asking if people think it is strange for her to replace so quickly) It made THEM feel happy.

SIL and BIL USED to have same breed of dog and DH thought his sister might like to see the new pup. Can imagine the conversation went:-. "We can walk new pup past sisters with pressies and no problems IF they don't want it to come in. DH will walk back home with it" BIL...not impressed and according to OP he doesn't even listen to what she has to say? THAT is the rude bit - not that he has to have a dog in his house. Obviously IF they had been invited in complete with pup then they would have BUT wasn't an automatic assumption. Yes, they COULD have phoned first - but they didn't so a moot point!

I think some of the comments are really OTT about mess etc. YES, IF the OP was going to let it run riot round the house but how many responsible dog owners would do that anyway? Mine would be at my side on a lead!

IF you want to see mess - my grandchildren create far more than any of the dogs do!

I don't feel that anyone should allow dogs in their house if they don't want to but get real about just how much of a mess they are likely to make in an hour or so! I do think the BIL was rude not listening but as I said am only going by OP description of it!

Some of us DO understand Arcadia but am suspecting you have lost the will to live by now Happy New year with your new family x

Notanan2 You obviously don’t like it when someone calls you out on something. I have at no point stated I don’t like you - I don’t know you. I have noticed you get overly involved in some threads and post repeatedly. It almost comes across as bullying at times. Others have mentioned it. I’ve finished commenting on the topic but just had to respond to you. I’m not the type that gets intimidated by social media big mouths so I shall continue to post and continue to pull you up when you go all out on some poor Gransnetter just looking for some advice/comfort/letting of steam.

Yes we all have our opinions but sometimes it gets so aggressive and confrontational on here and I just don’t understand where it comes from.

I trust you had a good Christmas and wish you and everyone else a Happy New Year.

I've come to the conclusion that there are 3 types of people who have dogs and they are 1)your bog standard dog owners, 2) mummies and daddies of furbabies and 3) those whose love for their canine sentient beings transcends all other pet owners - for they are the true dog owners and you must never, ever question the behaviour of their pooch.

There’s a vast, vast difference between the three.

So you've said tickingbird. Repeatedly....

Pot-kettle??

Shall we get back to the topic now or are you not done?

Tickingbird, I agree with you. Aggressive and confrontational posters seem to take over some discussions. Happy New Year!