Friends that depress you!

That's what's so good about this forum, you can let it all out without getting on anyones nerves.

jeni I talk to myself and answer back when I get out of hand!

Gatsby looks sympathetic and Pudding looks bored. Par for the course. Pudding does sleep on my bed though and I love to hear her purring - such a reassuring sound.

greatnando they give you sensible answers?

Exactly jeni It's never going to sympathise with your problems.

I live in splendid isolation most of the time and it doesn't bother me - but I have found myself chatting quite a lot to Juragran's dog and cat, whilst I am house sitting for her!

You haven't met next doors cat. It can make you feel an inch tall with one look!

That'swhere cats and dogs come in very useful, I mean when did you last hear a dog say "You think you've got problems?" or a cat say "Tell me about it" ?

I'm the same! I moan more on here than I do in real life. This could of course be due to the fact that when I'm not working I'm on my own and there's no point in moaning to ones self . Is there?

crimson

I probably pour my heart and troubles out on the internet more than, say, in the 'real world' because I know people can switch me off or ignore me if I'm getting to be a pain in the wotsit; much as a prefer emails a lot of the time to phone calls for the same reason. [now imagining the beauty of being able to switch people off at will; I could even switch myself off when I'm getting on my own nerves..which is a lot of the time]. Like now. Here goes [puff of smoke emoticon....]

The strange thing is that I am genuinely cheerful, not just on the surface, whilst always being aware of the loss of my daughter. I did obsess about it at first and I am very grateful to the kind friends who listened and sympathised. What I hope I did not do was pour cold water on their happiness, which is what my problem friend does. I would be happy to listen to her real problems - I just don't want her to tell me all the things that are wrong in my own life! I know what they are.

gracesmum I also got lost with the bit about bullying on another forum and have absolutely no idea what it was about, why or which forum – let alone what it was doing here. I don't want to know and I'm glad it's gone away.

One of my friends is always cheerful (on the surface anyway) as she says "A friend in need is a pain in the a**e!"

Well said gn - I tried to follow the bit where the thread meandered off to something about bullying on another forum (?) and felt I had totally lost the plot (or somebody had) and I am glad that we seem to have back to something I can understand and relate to. It is a cautionary tale - there are some people with whom I can be honest about how I feel (especially on a bad day) and others to whom I would not reveal any misery or negative emotions - but the thing I am reminded of is what my dear MIL said (after she lost FIL) "Nobody wants to spend all their time with a moaning minny. If you are too sorry for yourself, people will hide when they see you coming!"
So I hope I don't take advantage of sympathetic friends and remember to see myself as others see us!

I thought people were showing a great deal of sensitivity in their posts on this subject, except for that rather crass joke about emotionally bonkers women of a certain age and even that was just silly stereotyping.

I can't find a post that dismisses someone's illness as being only mental.

I can't believe that anybody here would dismiss mental illness as not being real or serious. At the moment, my daugher's paranoia is breaking my heart, and ruining her children's lives.
I had hoped we had heard the last about bullying - nobody is bullying anybody. Stating your opinion in a clear fashion is not bullying, even if people don't agree with you. Can we please move on?

When I was a GP and went to see children with temperatures, the mothers were always horrified when the first thing I'd do was strip off the twenty layers that would be wrapped round them. "They'll catch a chill!" They cried.

And yes, those were the days when did home visits!
Some time about the start of the last century!

Just scrolled quickly through this thread as I don't have much time for GN at the moment. I have 3 comments:

1 Gilly so much sympathy, we have spoken before and I will PM you.
2 Bullying - I think some people don't understand that it is not what they say but the way they say it. Yes, there are sensitive people on this site so what is wrong with caring about their feelings rather than dismissing them? It won't hurt.
3 Whoever dismissed someone's illness as being only mental needs to understand that mental illness is just as real as physical and should be given just as much help and support, not dismissed like that.

Sorry no time to go back and check who said what.

Yes, greatnan one of the pieces of advice on the SIDS website is not to overwrap babies.

elegran I know nothing according to my daughter. How I ever managed to raise her and her brother must be a mystery to her

Sorry took that wrong way

Isn't it more dangerous for babies to be kept too hot? Some young mothers are very over-protective, aren't they? When I was young, we all went to bed in unheated bedrooms, sometimes with ice on the inside of he windows and we were a healthy bunch.

I think it is just a gentle piss-taking at the way at the moment young mothers want us to follow the letter of the law, while mothers everywhere who trust their own instincts somehow have managed to raise their babies quite successfully.

Bags is for you, NanaD not agin you!

dogs, I did not ignore the underlying hurt. Sorry if it seemed that way. I was angry on your behalf because of the totally unnecessary underlying hurt that someone is causing you.

That's fine bags you take the piss out of just one example I gave and ignore the underlying hurt.

Babies are a lot tougher than they look. Just as well or the human race would have gone extinct before it got going.