Widowhood.

Hi nannie - glad you had some good times with your siblings. I don't have any brothers or sister and neither did my DH so it makes things a bit lonelier.

I'm struggling with the Tablet. It started well, but now it won't connect to google. It's not a big problem because I bought it for my GS to play games on and keep him away from my Lap top My DH could have solved the problem within seconds.

How are you feeling now that you're back home? I think you're doing really well.

Biker, Falconbird and nannieroz, just thinking how well we're all doing with this life that we wouldn't have chosen. I know just what you mean nannieroz about everything seeming mammoth when you have to do it on your own. Well done Falconbird coming off the diazepam I imagine that's very difficult. Some days sadness just seems overwhelming doesn't it?
I'm lucky in that I have a lot of friends and keep busy but I can't believe how lonely I feel sometimes. I keep telling myself that once I get back into my own home life might look a little brighter. I think it might be about a month from now so fingers crossed.

I like being in my own home, my own things etc but I miss the companionship of a friendly face. I must have been crying in my sleep as there is mascara all over my pillow this morning.

My PC won't work since I came back. Think there's been a power cut whilst I've been away. DH would have sorted this with no effort at all.

Yes sewsilver, keeping busy IS the key. Don't give your brain time to think. I'm sure when your home is ready you will be so busy putting it in order it will be a good distraction. My difficulty is getting motivated. I've got a million things I should be doing but I can't be bothered.

Reading this thread and nannieroz's post about keeping busy prompts me to put a point which you may help me with.
I have a neighbour who lost her OH of 23 years last Oct, we have got very friendly and I see her once a week. His death came very suddenly,from first symptoms to dying was less than 8 weeks. Now she cannot stay in the house, she has joined things,she visits ,she shops,she eats out on her own, anything to be out. She of course is lucky to have a car and the finance to do these things. She goes to view bungalows although I don't think she intends moving. Is this normal and is she just putting off grieving? I would never say anything, that is not my place but I would like to understand her better.

Yes keeping busy is definitely the answer. Only problem is we can't be busy all the time. Don't worry about not being bothered, it's all part of the grieving process.

Going to see the doc tomorrow because I must admit I'm not sure what is normal anymore. I sometimes have a couple of days of the new normal, when I feel quite OKish.

This happened with my widowed mother, eventually a new normal became established and that went on for many years and it was all right and my mum had some happy times and so did I without my dad.

Sorry you were crying in your sleep nannie.

I am impressed thought that you still wear eye make. I used to wear lots but in my 50s it started to give me eye infections.

annsixty what a lovely neighbour you are! Your concern and willingness to help is such a rare thing these days. I too have lovely neighbours/friends close by. My DH died last Oct too. He was ill for 7 weeks. We knew he was very sick but did not expect him to die. He died of hospital acquired infection and I am having great difficulty dealing with that knowledge. I suspect I have some sort of post traumatic problem. It sounds like your neighbour is probably suffering the same fate. Perhaps you might suggest some grief counselling?

nannie

nannie - I've got the Tablet working - I can't believe I did it by myself. My DH would be amazed at the skillls I've learnt.

Feel happy and sad all at the same time

Falcon you are now our "Official Techy Wizzard " well done, pat on back with BIG foam hand !

Well done falconbird. Your patience paid off. Hope you find it useful for yourself and GS. Your DH would be so proud of you.

Thanks biker and nannie - I'm definitely going to get one of those BIG Foam hands or maybe I'll just imagine it. Doing it now - well done Falcon.

Since my DH passed away I've coped with most thing quite well, but technology has frightened me witless on more than one occasion.

Another scary thing is the thought of having to go into hospital with no husband to come and visit me. This happened to a friend just after her DH passed away.

It was just her luck that her ward was full of women with husbands. She said it was really, really hard but she survived.

a really big bunch from a florist - for all of us brave widows.

Falcon they must have cost you a fortune!! really you shouldn't have lol, Iv'e put mine in water they look beautiful on the little table thankyou

Where have you put yours nannieroz ?

As my DH was a systems analyst (whatever that is?) I never used computers. I'm now an iPad addict and completely self taught in emails, Pages, Photoshop and all sorts of things.

Thanks for the beautiful flowers falcon. I've got them on the front room window ledge biker

DS is 'one of those' Galen, I'm none the wiser either!

I'm in awe of all of you, it's very humbling reading this thread x

Good place nannieroz and thankyou loopylou love the name

Galan and Falcon are now our techies! I shall make the badges when I find my sticky backed plastic!

Falcon, that happened to me two years ago. I ended up in intensive care for a couple of weeks, then on a ward for a month. I felt very sorry for myself, having no husband. I had looked after him for 15 years, and he wasn't there for me when I needed him.
However, if he had been alive, he would have had to go into a home as he couldn't be left on his own.

My family keep me so busy, teaching my grandson five days a week this term, that I do not have time to think. I fall asleep when he goes home most days. I do not tell them about the pain in my back when I worry if it's the same thing happening again, as I can see the fear in their eyes.

I was getting worried about you, Falcon, with that big tablet after someone mentioned Temazepam. It's okay, I've worked it out now!

durhamjen

durhamjen

I know what you mean about the Tablet. I was at a friends one evening and she said I'm just off to fetch my tablet. I said
"Got a headache"
Went to a wonderful new doc yesterday and he said I was doing great not taking the Diazapam. He was my dream doctor, he listened and was really understanding.

The hospital experience must have been so hard, but you survived it. Does what you survive make you stronger, that's a big question??

Galen - my husband was a systems analyst. It made me have low self esteem around technology but getting braver.

Ok I am now taking orders for:
"Big Foam Hands " (virtual of course)!

Instructions for use are: "When one has achieved a small step, no matter how small.......place hand inside the Foam and pat oneself on back" (if you have a very good friend you could ask them to do it)

You should! feel an instant feel good factor and should bring a smile to face if smile to face does not happen, then return the Foam hand in pre paid envelope and it will be replaced as it could be a manufacturing fault.

Please state Blue/Pink or Yellow

biker! You're indomitable. Did you get the big foam hands from the same source (Ebay?) where you got your legendary 'inflatable friends'?

lol lol shhhhhhhh....................... anno not everyone knows about them!! lol.

anno I had to look up what " indomitable * meant thank you