Widowhood.

I know this is trite but I read somewhere that 'grief is the price we pay for love', so perhaps it is not such a bad thing to experience after all? I cannot comment as I am not widowed but I do send you all my very best wishes for a happy and healthy 2015.

Wept for you all. for all those fine men you married.

And mourn

Oh yes I hope you managed to stop your eyes leaking Durhamjen and you had a lovely time with your Grandson while his sister was at the pantomime.

I would like to add to try to help the people who have found themselves in this same situation like me, that there is hope after all the grief. It took me a few years to find that I was coping a bit better with the help from my family and friends of course. Where I would have been without them I don't like to think! I suppose it was having to adjusting to my 'new' life that I had never expected in my wildest nightmares! It was far too early to even think that would happen. Anyway there are less times I find myself upset thinking what could have been. We all must be thankful at what we do have and try not to think too much about what could have been. I feel it's time that seems to help put this into perspective. I am thinking about you all with positive thoughts on their way.

rascal

Where can we write about how overwhelmed we still feel about it if not on a thread like this? There are lots of threads where people write about husbands. This isn't one of them.
I find it quite strange how many of us lost our husbands about the same time.

Three years this July for me durhamjen. Still feel as if I'm walking in a dream or rather a nightmare. Someone told me it takes 3 full years to feel anything like normal again. I think this is probably true but it's a new normal.

So true Falconbird. At just over a year I am beginning to realise that I will never go back to the life I had nor will I be the person I was. Trouble is I don't yet have much idea who I am so still feel unmoored. I am determined to be positive but some days it's a struggle.It does help to be aware of others in the same situation. And Rascal it's consoling to hear that there is hope, thank you all for your support.

No one, other than those that have been widowed seem to realise that you paint a smile on your face, go through the motions of being 'normal', but inside you are frightened of the future, the emptiness, the yearning, the anger and grief.
I can't imagine ever feeling truly ok again, how can I when the man I loved us no longer here? It will be 2 years for me in April, I can honestly say, I don't like this new life I have been forced to live. Yes, I am lucky with dc and dgc but this is not what I would have chosen. Sometimes I want to end it, my family stop me, and most of the time I feel like I am wading through treacle just to get another day over. I do hooe that one day I will wake up and feel more 'normal' until that day I will just keep treading through the treacle.
love and hugs to everyone, I hope 2015 is a better year for us all. It is so goid to have gn to vent our true feelings on, when in the real world we try to make sure everyone else is ok, and that we are 'fine'. Xxx

Love and hugs from me to all of you too This thread makes my eyes leak too.

anyone about? just wondering how your all getting on with the evening .

Coping! Drinking! Had a visit from 'her next door'�� checking I was ok!
Going to bed soon. The only interesting programme I could find (about the Mayan 'red queen' ) finishes soon, them I'm up to bed!

evening Galen you may have snook off already Im in bed laptop on knee, just mooching till my eyes tire (not had any ) was tempted but had a bit of trifle late on and wasn't sure if it would mix, will hang around a little while see if anyone pops in (GN I mean not the house).

To all of you Whilst I am not in your situation I am slowly losing my DH to Alzhheimers but I still have him he is a presence in my everyday life and as he loves his food he is a pleasure to cook for AND eat with which is so important. I send you my very best wishes for next year may it bring some comfort.

annsixty that is so good your dh loves his food, it is so much better when you see them tucking into it and makes it worthwile cooking.

Agreed! Having no one to cook for makes it a chore, rather than a delight!
Watching Nebuchadnezzar now!

ok well...suppose I will switch off...goodnight all..

Oh, my friends - love to you all, and thank you for reminding us to be thankful. xx

Love to you all . Outstanding brave ladies

It's my mother-in-law's 93rd birthday today.
We had her 90th birthday in this house. My husband went to bed half way through it and never got out of it again. He died three weeks later.

durhamjen that is so sad

I was widowed when I was 43 when my husband had a heart attack at the age of 46. We had been together 24 years and I found it very hard to manage without him there with me.
16 years on and I still miss him very much - I moved from North Wales to Dover the year after he died as my daughter had found a job here. Since then she has moved out with her partner and I have three lovely grandchildren who I see daily during school terms as I do the afternoon school run and give them their tea.
I recently took early retirement but am still looking to work part time but it is very hard to find a job that fits around the school run!
It is having no-one to chat to about the mundane things in life I miss most - when the grandchildren have gone home and I make a cup of tea it would be lovely to have someone to talk over the day with.

A friend of mine who was widowed recently put it well I think. She said 'I have lots of family and friends to do things with but no one to do nothing with'.

durhamjen as a bit similar to you....dh was sat on sofa after dd just having left (she was expecting at that time) as she went out the door dh said to me "I'm never going to see this baby am I" ? he then got up and slowly made his way to his stairlift and said "I think its time I went"! he went upstairs and remained in bed for a week until he died.

DotHM55 hello and welcome

That's it exactly - no-one to do nothing with. I miss my DH when Neighbours is on TV.

We used to sit there together very happy, content and getting on a bit.

I remember looking at him (he was so ill) and thinking not much longer. I was so scared, still am without him.