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Widowhood.

(508 Posts)
Falconbird Sat 27-Dec-14 11:58:57

This is my third Christmas without my husband and I was really thrown by the fact that I missed him much more than in previous years. I think the initial shock of his sudden passing is wearing off. I have three sons and three lovely grandchildren - but without "my bloke" it seemed very very empty and lonely this year.

sad

Falconbird Tue 06-Jan-15 19:36:56

Just to say thanks to all.

Gransnet got me through a difficult Christmas. It's so great to be able to be open and honest and have such wonderful support. Friends and family are wonderful but on here I could be much more honest.

I was wondering if it would be a good idea to set up a separate section for Widows?

flowers for you all.

durhamjen Tue 06-Jan-15 19:45:45

Went to Beamish today with my grandson to take the tinsel off my husband's seat. The workers there were taking down the lights. They reckon it takes them three months to put them all up, and three weeks to take them down again. Hope they are not superstitious.

Biker, where do you live? My aunt goes linedancing with her brother and his wife. They live in Berkshire.

So sorry for you, biker. At least my grandchildren will all remember their grandad, even the youngest who was only four when he died.

Lona Tue 06-Jan-15 19:46:06

No, stay with us all Falconbird, we are like family smile

bikergran Fri 09-Jan-15 22:07:41

Hi Durhamjen I am in North Lancashire. The older GS whos 8 remembers,,,in fact he has chatted about him a lot recently ( I manage not to cry most of the time) when hes talking about granddad and eating his liquorice allsorts! and how grandads big photo which dd has up, grandad keeps watching him he says lol.

durhamjen Fri 09-Jan-15 23:11:54

A long way to go to do linedancing with my aunt and uncle, biker.

bikergran Sat 10-Jan-15 09:10:38

lol durhamjem

Notagran51 Mon 26-Jan-15 19:17:34

My husband died of a heart attack when I was 43 and he was 45. That was 20 years ago. It was hard - four children aged 15-5, and no money! But the worse thing was that I didn't know who I was (I'd been with him Since I was 19 - so all my adult life - he was the other half of me). I missed him so much, still do. I made a lot of mistakes on my journey to find out who I was, and it took me about 4 years.

But I'm still here, and have a lovely life. No grandchildren as yet, but I have recently retired and got myself the most gorgeous puppy, who is much adored! (My grandchild substitute!)

I have a lot of good friends, just about all of whom are single too! And we help each other out, go on trips, holidays together.

But I still miss him. Sometimes it takes me by surprise and completely overwhelms me for a few hours. I have lovely memories though.

Crafting Mon 26-Jan-15 22:04:37

Notagran51 flowers

nannieroz111 Mon 26-Jan-15 23:10:10

Hi GN's. I'm new to this so bear with me please. I was widowed 15 weeks ago tonight. So lonely, so painful, still can't really believe it. Nothing is the same anymore. I found this site and have been dipping in and out for about a week now. Helps me when I cannot sleep.

Tegan Mon 26-Jan-15 23:30:25

This is a good place to find when you're sad; you'll find a lot of comfort on here. Hugs to you flowers.

Falconbird Tue 27-Jan-15 06:56:48

Dear nannieroz111

It is such early days for you. I was widowed two and a half years ago and it does get better honestly although I know that's hard to believe at the moment.

The mornings are the worst for me and that's when I log on to Gransnet to see what's going on.

This is a safe place where you can express your feelings flowers

nannieroz111 Tue 27-Jan-15 07:20:48

Thank you Tegan and Falconbird. I hope you know how helpful you are. R x

Marmight Tue 27-Jan-15 08:14:52

nannieroz flowers
I was widowed 3 years ago today.
It does become easier to bear in time; two steps forward and one back. Just take every day at a time, go at your own pace and give in to the very bad days.

Marelli Tue 27-Jan-15 08:42:26

I've been re-reading this thread, and realise how lucky I am still to have DH. He was grumpy yesterday and after he went off to bed, I sat for ages with Gransnet for company. He's now banging about in the kitchen, after having brought me a cup of tea in bed. I'm counting my blessings. flowers

narg Tue 27-Jan-15 08:47:49

Thinking of you today Marmight as you face the third anniversary.
What will you be doing?
Such wise words about giving in to the bad days. Grieve seems to have an agenda all of its own and like you I have found that the best way is to
go with it.

Marmight Tue 27-Jan-15 09:28:03

Thanks narg. I have spoken to 2 of my 3 daughters so far, am having coffee with a friend, and then I am spending the afternoon having a facial, a pedicure and a back massage!! This is the first anniversary I have been at home, so it is all the more poignant. But, upwards and onwards as they say wink

annodomini Tue 27-Jan-15 10:02:57

Marmight, ((((hugs)))). flowers

Oldgreymare Tue 27-Jan-15 10:35:07

.... and from me too Marmight
in fact, to all who are hurting.

nannieroz111 Tue 27-Jan-15 11:02:16

Thank you Marmight. I will take your advice about giving in to the bad days.

KatyK Tue 27-Jan-15 11:45:13

flowers marmight. My DH will get his results next week to see if the radiotherapy on his cancer has worked. To say I am terrified would be an understatement. So sorry for all of you who have lost your partners.

Galen Tue 27-Jan-15 12:48:32

Marmightflowers KatyK I'm thinking of you. I remember how horrible that time was. It's 12 in a couple of months for me!

Galen Tue 27-Jan-15 12:48:53

12years, that was.

KatyK Tue 27-Jan-15 13:00:28

Thank you Galen flowers for you too

Ariadne Tue 27-Jan-15 15:41:46

Yes, stay with us, Falconbird - GN is a good, compassionate community at heart. And we would miss you. X

Marmight I remember you telling us, three years ago, of your DH's death. sad Grief can ambush you, can't it?

flowers to all of you who grieve, and respect and admiration for you too.

kittylester Tue 27-Jan-15 16:10:14

I remember too, Marmight! flowers And, I agree with Ariadne about GN. We are kind and compassionate and here for people when they need us! flowers

I can only imagine what your thoughts are KatyK. flowers