Support for family members cut out of loved ones lives 5

Aagh that's great smilelss hope I get one from Steve ?Not arrived yet.

After acquacise and 20 lengths of pool. Took GD for end check all ok thank god, still got be on chappie, chicken or half fat rich tea as great or half low fat dental stick. Nothing else.

We made ballroom class also was really good.

Husband quite irritable think he gets so tired working now and we were out all day yesterday after busy workday Tuesday bless him.

Going try give him breakfast in bed tomorrow.??

Wow exciting smilelss I really think good idea moving I honestly do.
I also hope that your son comes to his senses maybe it will trigger him off to break the ice seeing for sale sign do hope so.

8th Mother's Day without T and it doesn't get less painful wish to god it did

Night night all

Sharp intake of breath re; new house Smileless & Aww! re; the Mothers Day card from Oz, lovely!

Celebgran maybe with all the Mothers Day things on TV and everywhere else, just maybe our estC are giving us a thought just watched 'Loose women' with tributes to some celebs to their mums, it was soo touching, I was thinking 'I hope my estD is watching this, and how mothers should be treated & thought of'

Well it is Friday

You know what Yogagirl, I've been thinking the same thing. Every mother's day I know how sad I'm going to be because I don't get a card from ES and it's hard to listen to others talking about what they will be doing and after the event, what others did.

This year, for the first time I've wondered what it might be like for our EC, hearing their friends talk about what they're doing for their mums on mother's day, seeing the ads, cards and gift ideas in the shops and knowing that they wont be doing anything for their own mothers.

I wonder if there's enough decency left in them to care and wish that things were different.

andfor all of you wonderful mums tomorrow, whose estranged children have no idea how lucky they are to have you.

Smilelss I think they must just not think about us doubt T will upset herself.

I am so upset this year, things not good as I am So stressed by eye.

Our son wanted us to wait in for delivery nothing. Came and he realised had ordered for April not March. That didn't help.

Good friends came for effort evening and bonght me amazing flowers that helped.

Just as I came Downstairs to make cuppa remembered T creeping Dow. Stairs when she came back from uni to suprise me one. MOthers day.
I just feel so low and tearful for daughter I used to have.

Very hurt too that my son couldn't make effort to at least post card,
He is of course trying alter delivery can't until Monday apparently.
He had just got back from California clearly his partner didn't help.
One year she did get me card and pres when we stayed near them on Mother's Day coincidence year they asked for loan for deposit, must not be cynical.

Sorry for this rant hope you other ladies having better time.

for you those of you who find today difficult. I hope you can find some way of distracting the pain, but I expect not. Days like today almost feel like rubbing salt into an open wound. I wish I could help, but I know you will help each other. You were in my thoughts this morning

Yes, well said Smileless I think the same, I know nasty will be making a fuss of his mother, and my estD..nothing! I was a good kind gentle mother, so she cannot think back to bad times, only loving, good ones. Just can't help feeling really sad today, I have two classes and normal on special days I would say something, not sure if I will today, as not every mother will find it a happy day, as we well know. Listening to Clair balding on the radio, of course all about mothers Day, "^ thanks for being a lovely mum^" need to turn it off!

We have our nice children, so must focus only on them today. I am going over to my ND's this evening, for a special mothers day dinner, cooked by her fiancée, so really looking forward to that & to seeing my lovely baby GD.

Oh no! Celebgran re flowers for April, you would think the florist would have asked, mothers day? I have a bible by my bed, which I pray with on my knees every night, with a little pair of my GD's socks on top, left from when she lived with me, my ND found them in GD's bedroom when I was in such distressed at the beginning of all this, I can't tell you what those little socks mean to me, I even take them on holiday with me. I also have a dummy of GS's, that I keep by my desktop, as that's where I found it. Only things I have of them ;-{ In the bible is a little sticker note from my estD saying For a special mummy, breakfast in bed, Love from estD and a happy face.

for all the grieving mums today. God Bless xx

Thank you morethan2

Happy Mother's day to you all dear friends. Oh Celebyour poor son, as Yogagirl said, you'd have thought the florist would have queried it, perhaps there was a card with the flowers and that's why he didn't send one separately. Bless him, he was probably jet lagged and not thinking straight. Oh dear I am sorry, not a great start to a day that's difficult enough anyway. Hopefully you'll get your flowers tomorrow and they'll be so lovely that you'll forget about not getting them today. In the meantime these are just for you.

Well, I cried when I read DS's card; "you always have been and always be the most wonderful mum that anyone could wish for". There was a knock at the door and a delivery of beautiful flowers and chocs followed by a 'phone call from DS. So yes, there's been a few tears but all of joy for the boy we still have in our lives and as you say Yogagirl those are the children we should be thinking of today, not the ones who've abandoned us.

Sounds as if you're in for a real treat this evening, I hope you have a lovely time. We're going out with Mr. S.'s mum, sister and her husband this evening.

You have helped morethan2, thank you.

You would have thought so but rubs salt I. Seeing f book photos of my son taking Anina his partner out for afternoon tea.

It was actually breakfast in bed thingy he had ordered and paid extra for sat delivery. As you know we are dubiously about his partner.

He is going try reorder for next Friday as we away this week seeing Billy Elliott In London.

You are lucky smilelss and Yogagirl I have been heartbroken today had little sleep last night. Not just Mother's Day all stress of my eye trouble.

Steve just rang rebooked delivery for Friday and booked come see us good Friday and Easter sat. That's good

Happy Mother's Day to all. We don't celebrate that until May here but my heart goes out to all of you who cannot see your EC. My son did not call or send a card to me or my mother last May and that hurts.
I too wonder *Celebgran*why the wives or partners of our children can't be responsible for their spouses or partners loved ones. I always bought gifts for my in laws and sent cards. In my case my ES and EDIL have their moms so they don't care about me.
*Smileless*What a wonderful surprise from your DS. He does appreciate and love you.
Maybe your moving would give you a fresh start.
As for me I am still wearing the boot on my foot but I could get back into a shoe but it hurts. My DD gave her husband an ultimatum yesterday to stop drinking or they will divorce . I watched the GC while they went to therapy. He was crying when they came back and we tried talking to him. They fought and screamed and my heart broke for my GC. I would just love a week with no heartache and pain.

You really are having a difficult time of it at the moment Rhinestone. It must be very hard for you worrying about the effect your D's and husband's arguing is having on your GC. Now about this boot, are you sure your foot still hurts too much to wear a shoe OR is it just that you've become rather attached to your boot and can't stop wearing it.

Hope you're having a better day today Celeb and that there's some improvement in your eye. It's good that you have Billy Elliot to look forward too.

How was your meal and time spent with DD, DF and lovely GD Yogagirl?

We had a nice meal out last night so all in all it was a good day, the first mother's day I've enjoyed since this all beganso hopefully when next year's is approaching I'll look back on this one and not be worried about how to get through it.

celebgran try not to stress about your floaters/pvd. I've had this for years and you just learn to adapt to it. Apparently it's very common, especially amongst the very short-sighted. I have lots of floaters in both eyes, and my opticians can see them when I have regular eye tests. One of them, only in his thirties, says that he has a lot more than I have - strangely, that made me feel better Mine bother me now only when my eyes are tired, so I make sure I get enough sleep.

Thanks so much maggiemaybe for saying that, Funnily enough I am not shOrt sighted at all?Trust me. I think I am still in shock. It kinda made me feel sadder because I still miss my daughter so to tell things to.

Ridiculous when she does t care about us I know.
It just tipping me over emotional edge I have to get a grip.

So chuffed Steve my son has booked come stay good Friday and eater sat.
Then we had nice end to day?
Smilelss so glad you enjoyed day it was one of my worst yet have enjoyed ones when saw my son guess him muddling dates was last straw in my fragile state. Still when he rang to say booked come at Easter cheered me up. He is trying sort delivery of pres for Friday bless.

Rhinestone how very sad especially with drink problem, my father drank heavily and it scared me when I was child. So sorry you got got that stress deal with hope he can get help.horrid for children,

Yes Yogagirl hope your day went well.

Night night all x

Morning Girls
So sorry you are feeling so stressed out and had a bad Mothers Day, it means so much to get something from our NC, that if they get it wrong it hurts like hell, even though they didn't mean to, so here's from flowers from me Try not to see the floaters, look passed/throw them.

Rhinestone it hits harder when other things go wrong doesn't it, on top of this estrangement nightmare, stay strong

Smileless Glad to hear you had a nice meal out on Sunday. I too went out for a meal, when I got round to my ND they said "Surprise!" we were booked into a nice restaurant for a Mothers Day meal, accompanied by his mother & baby GD of course. First time baby has sat in a highchair in a restaurant, we gave her some cucumber to eat and she loved it, she loved sitting in her highchair too, sooo funny!

I feel so sad that my GD & GS are missing out on all the love and attention from us all, and I keep dwelling on the fact that if we did ever reconcile, they would look on me as a stranger, that special love & bond we had destroyed, gone forever, could never be the same, as it was before :'-(

Have a nice day everyone.

Makes me think, re above, if I want to be reconcile, of course I do, but as we were before and that can't ever happen! The thought of those beloved eyes looking at me as a stranger and maybe not wanting to sit near me when we first meet again, is awful!

Don't look at it that way Yogagirl if we got chance to reconcile we would be able to build relationship with little ones ec may be more difficult.

So good you enjoyed day Yogagirl.

We did I. End. But impress feeling that upset again, have withstood my emotional reaction to write to T tell her about eyes etc as what the hell is the point be ignored again.

Not seen little D for ages her and mum been poorly do miss them,?

Thanks for flowers Yogagirl excited going London tomorrow life not too bad?

HARDLEY EVER HEAR FROM MY LOT..........Never from my son who is Ireland ......... nobody has his address.. ..... never mind a!!

maggiemay

You must be really looking forward to tomorrow Celeb, hope you have a wonderful time and can relax. I love you film Billy Elliot, I should think it'll be even better to see it performed on stage; tell us all about it when you get home.

It's great that you'll be seeing Steve over Easterand hopefully you'll be able to see little D and her lovely mum soon when she's feeling better. You've had such a lot to contend with, it's hardly surprising you're at a low ebb, hopefully your little break away will lift your spirits.

Oooh I bet she looked lovely in her little high chair Yogagirland cute when she was eating her cucumber. I remember when my brother gave DS his first strawberry, he didn't like it bless him and pulled such a funny little face that he tried to give him another one; good job I stopped him just in time.

Well we've been and gone and done it, had an estate agent round today and our house is going on the market. I'm feeling surprisingly upbeat about it considering we haven't found any where to move too. The big house we were going to view tomorrow has had an offer made on it so that's been cancelled but it's OK because we've found another big one to see tomorrow and a couple of slightly smaller ones on Thursday.

It is strange though, we'd never have considered moving if things had been different but we think it's time we ended this very painful chapter in our lives and began a new one.

Thanks Smilelss Just feeling. So fragile and vulnerable?Slept by my bed all night.

Just saddest thing on Sunday with Steve messing up could have laughed it off were it not for T.

Life sucks at times. I am scared of feeling. That low and sad again like I am A worthless mum.

Anyway snap out of it, off London today. Gra booked Madame tassauds for Tom afternoon. Knees painful. It hope have another injection next Monday.

Like my new phone? And had successful afternoon doing T godmother treatments plus invite back for dinner sat 2nd April so that was lovely.

Life goes on.

Wanted to say Smilelss whoopee??for sale and positive idea I think,

Report back Friday. Yogagirl little one sounds so cute, so happy for you.??
My fir baby. GD . Is 13 on Friday ??

Ps I know it's unreasonable but i even worry that D mum will cut us off, I know she been ill that's why not seen her much but still so fragile because of what T has done to me damaged I guess.

Sorry MaggieMay

Celebgran if you feel you want to write a letter to T, then do, what's the harm, and you never know, one day maybe....., I'm in the same boat as you but I still think 'how can T be so cruel to her mum', I feel so sorry for you C! It's so hard to shack the sadness, I'm sad every day, I tried to pretend I'm OK, but I'm not. Of course it helps tremendously having my sweet, thoughtful ND and new baby GD, when I'm with them I'm OK, but as soon as they go, about an hour, and it's sadness again!

Got an official invitation, to a neighbours funeral [normally it's word of mouth , but I've just declined, saying I'm working [I'm not, as it's on Friday] but I just can't bear the thought of going! When I went to my prev. M.i.l's last year, I bawled so much, my Sis.i.l said ' blimey, you cried more than me, and it's my mum' but it's because of this estrangement making me super emotional, so to go to my neighbours and do the same I didn't know him that well anyway, am I bad ?

Oh Smileless you are brave! much braver than me, I've been meaning to move for years, still here My ND, being a first time mum, is so particular with what baby eats, but guess who gave her her first taste of white choc last week and guess who gave her her first taste of ice-cream on Sunday naughty nannie!

Maggiemay, do hope that one of your family contacts you, it must be really hard not knowing where your son is. It is so difficult bring estranged from those you love, it is a comfort knowing where they are even if you don't see them. You must constantly be worried if he is ok. Can you not make contract with other family, or perhaps you have tried. When life is really busy when they are young, you can never imagine being left behind. I sometimes think it must be my fault, I must have inadvertently done something wrong that I didn't mean, but then I fill my life with loads of stuff, I really do not want to be bitter and complaining and I pretend all is well.

Morning Girls

My birds are having a treat this morning, found a coconut on the beach, broke it open and it's delicious! As well as my normal nesting Robins, blue Tits, Great Tits, Gold Finch etc. I had a Green Finch and the beautiful long tail Tit, Wonderful!

Had no idea that UK MDay was on a different date than MDay here in the States. Interesting!

But no matter the date, I understand that it's one of the days where being CO from adult DSs or DDs must be especially hard. Group (((hug)))

When I read about the memories of past MDays, etc., I just don't get it, I just don't! Hard enough for me to understand people COing a parent (unless abusive, of course) - but to CO a mother you once thought special enough to serve breakfast in bed, etc?! I just don't get how things can change that much!

I think it makes sense to concentrate on the NC who are still in your lives. They deserve the attention. But I get that it must be hard not to think of the "absent" ones.

Celeb, I'm sorry you had the disappointment of that gift not arriving on top of everything else. Glad it was all straightened out in the end, though, and that DS is coming for a visit.

Maggiemay, how awful not to even know, for sure, where DS is! My heart aches for you!

But I hope all of you got past that day, ok, and are feeling better now.

Hello All- MaggiemayIts hard enough knowing that our EC are living where they are but to not know is hard. Have you tried a Google search u see his name? Or check out Facebook by just putting in his name or the name of a good friend of his. If he is friends with that person you could see it u see that persons friend's list.

Wendysuecan you tell me what CO means? I am in the states also and my mom is still here so I plan Mother's Day for her each year. But when she is no longer here I wonder if my daughter will do anything for me. Boy when I think of all I have done for my parents it boggles my mind to think how immature and mean our loved ones can be.

CelebgranIt is not unreasonable to worry about others cutting you out of their lives. I have that fear also as once it's been done you can't help but worry. And if you want to write a letter what have you got to lose ?

YogagirlI have had floaters for many years. They come and go but after a few years they seem to have subsided. Be careful if you ever see flashing lights of black sticklike objects as that could be what I had years ago and that's a retinal tear. I didn't want to go to the doctor as I was giving my class a test and a co worker made me. Had I not gone straightaway to see the doctor and get laser on my eye, the doctor said he would have had to do an operation to repair it. The birds do make us feel good don't they?

SmilelessIm excited for you as you begin a new start. How exciting for you and Mr. S.

As for me I'm seeing my podiatrist on Monday. I tried to work out the other day and was in pain by evening. Why do ligaments take so long to heal.
My DD gave her husband the ultimatum to stop pot and drinking. He was supposed to go to an AA meeting today but he says it's too religious for him. She is worn out poor thing from him and his manipulative behaviors. I think they will divorce.
I told my therapist yesterday that I'm so used to be stressed out from my family that a quiet normal day seems odd to me.
Have a wonderful happy weekend all

Hi Rhinestone just popped on between yoga sessions. CO is Cut out.
Ligaments can take a good year to heal, so go easy