Is a 29 year age gap acceptable?

The 24 year old daughter of people we knew married a 64 year old bachelor. They seemed happy, had two children and he lived to see them grow up. Obviously not quite what her parents might have chosen but apparently it worked for them.

Susie DD did express her concerns but it didn't stop him going back to the woman. I think the person who said he is thinking with his 'brain' might be right. I certainly don't think this woman really loves him as he is, but maybe thinks she can mould him into what she wants.

It's a personal choice and solely up to the couple involved. I would never have taken advice on it at the age of 22 when I married my late husband who was many years older than me. We had a very good marriage for a good many years and had a son. I wish I could say that it was a happy marriage a bit later on - he couldn't cope with having a boisterous child (NOT a naughty child - just a child!) and I began to feel resentful. I remember the happy times with a smile and remember how handsome he was and how romantic it seemed. I wouldn't advocate it for anyone else though!

I would not like the thought of it but it all depends upon the couple doesn't it

My (second) husband is 24 years younger than me (making him 3 years younger than my older child). His mother is 5 years younger than I am. He was 22 when we met (I was 46) 5 years ago. Some people that age are very immature and might not be old enough to know what they really want from life, others are perfectly capable of making important, life-changing decisions, most are somewhere in between, and that probanly goes for any adult age.

Making sweeping generalisations like '21 year olds aren't mature enough to know what they want' is really unhelpful and patronising. Every one is different.

What is important is that our loved ones are happy and their relationships have integrity and they are treated with respect. It's not relevant what age the OP's adult child's partner is, what's relevant is whether he/she treats her/him with respect and whether she/he is truly happy in the relationship. Unfortunately the OP hasn't told us this.

well love is love

I am lost for words at fiorindas post.

DD1 married a man 16 years older than her 8 years ago. She is now 40 and he is 57. He is sports mad and very fit. I wasn't worried so much about the age gap (although he's only 6 years younger than me) as I was afraid she'd got with him on the rebound after a previous relationship broke up quite suddenly. However they seem very happy and as long as she's happy so am I

It seems it's not so much the age gap that's worrying as the relationship in general. When my husband and I got together (he's ten years younger than me) his mother wrote me a letter in which she expressed her concerns about the implications of the age age difference in our later years. There was no criticism, just a caring mother's genuine fears for her son. However, she and my father in law made the decision that if we went ahead with marriage they would offer us their support. This they have always done and now, thirty years into my marriage, they and I have the closest relationship imaginable.

It seems as if your son is going to need you to help him pick up the pieces at some time in the future Pigglywiggly, so I'd suggest that you say your piece to both of them about your worries, but then make sure they know that you'll give them all the support you can as the relationship progresses.