My adult, married, son cut me off - 10-years-ago in August. It was a terrible shock (although I could eventually acknowledge that it had been on the cards for a few years before that). I was devastated and struggled emotionally for several years. Christmas days and mother’s days invariably led to me going to bed depressed in the afternoon. As the years passed, I moved through despair and I became angry with him. We were very close when he was a child. I was careful to ensure that childhood was gentle and full of nice things like painting big pictures, baking, walking dogs, feeding ducks raising kittens etc (you get the picture). I never smacked the children and their Father did so only once (I wasn’t there and was appalled when I found out).
Although it still hurt, I could push through, muttering “little shit”! In the last few years, the hurt is still there, but buried more deeply and, although I would happily never see another Christmas tree, I am no longer a basket case on Christmas days and mother’s day. Instead, I can enjoy time with my husband (not his father, I divorced him and that was the apparent catalist for me being CO).
My eldest daughter has 3 children and we all have lovely relationships. My youngest has now just had her first. She lives a long distance from us, so we will see her, her lovely husband and baby for visits 3/4 times a year, hopefully a little more often when the time comes that they have a spare bedroom. Anyway, I have been surprised to find that simply the arrival of this baby feels like another emotional corner turned.
I wonder do other CO Gransnetters recognise emotional corners you have turned in our common journey.
