Driving at speed.

I often go above 70mph in the fast lane of a motorway. It's sometimes necessary to keep up the momentum when you are in a line of fast moving vehicles going past whatever is in the middle lane. Slowing down would be dangerous and encourage others to undertake on the left.

Motorway driving is completely different to any other kind of driving.

I do disagree with you about this merlot. If the vehicle in front cannot be overtaken without breaking the speed limit, then the inside lane is the place to be.

I understand that sitting in the middle lane is a problem; but the inside lane is there and can be used.

The problem with going for an overtake that means you have to break the speed limit is, not only that it is illegal, but that it pushes up the general speed in all lanes and this accumulates to a lot of cars breaking the limit

I would not see this as a good decision.

I drive carefully and still do about 10,000 a year. I feel strongly about not speeding but, I've done one speed awareness course because I drove at 37 on a dual carriageway where I'd believed the limit was 40. A year later, I was given a fine and 3 penalty points for driving at 38 on what I believed to be a 50 limit dual carriageway. The first incident was close to where I live so I'm now properly cautious. the second was 200 miles away on a long dual carriageway. My satnav didn't beep to tell me I was speeding and neither I nor my passenger noticed the speed limit had dropped. I now find myself with angry drivers sitting on my tail as I watch the speed limit so carefully.

Dual carriageways in towns can trip people up.

I ignore the angry drivers behind me in the same way that I would ignore someone by my side in a shop trying to egg me on to steal! I do however give them the opportunity to safely overtake if this arises.

My late MIL got to the point where she refused to get in the car with her husband. She said he drove too fast and she was not confident he could see well enough. I do not enjoy car journeys with my husband either, and avoid where possible! According to him, almost everyone else is driving badly, and he keeps up an increasingly bad tempered commentary, which starts virtually the minute we pull out onto the main road.

Im sure that I am the worst! passenger ever! I admit it....I work imaginary brake pedals in the passenger side !
When passing junctions I a cringe if a car is zooming up to it on my left (looking like they ave nooooo intention of stopping at the give way sign) But I think this comes from riding a motorcyle..theres nothing worse than seeing that car/wagon etc speeding towards your left hand side wondering have they seen you or are they going to stop!

Yes I deserve a badge for the worst passenger.
I have been driving 42 yrs.

When I was worried about the speed of one of my sons, I put a little note on his steering wheel “ better late in this life than early in the next one”. It’s also the ramifications of killing someone else, ruining others lives and then going to prison. Many men are speeders ( some women too) .. just like guns, cars are killing machines when in the wrong hands. I agree with chatting to him when not in the car, and reiterating exactly how distressed this is making you feel, even a reluctance to get in the car with him, which as you say is impractical.

I think its just a 'car persona' thing-my son does this too,and hes only 19,and quite a newish driver-but rest of the time,he's such a quiet mild mannered boy! My other son (late 20's) -been driving a few yrs now-is the same- so easy going normally,but they get in a car and its like somethings possessed them!!And then,yes i get the blame from younger son if he misses a turning etc or i worry if he pulls up sharpish,etc,he points out hes a good driver-which largely he is,for a young driver,but yes they act same,it might be a man thing,i dont know.

I would hate this too. Could you do the driving instead or would this cause a tantrum? Could you just grab the car keys yourself as though you expect to do the driving from now on? I think I know the answer!
Unfortunately there are many drivers who exceed the speed limit a good deal of the time and mostly they get away with it. If any friends or family feel the same way about his driving they could back you up.

Sorry Cabbie but people like your DH make me really angry. The sooner he gets banned from driving the better for everyone else. I know that sounds harsh but if he kills someone he will have a long time in prison to reflect one what a marvellous driver he thinks he is.

I have absolutely no time for speeding drivers OR those who think their driving is so marvellous that they can brake at the last minute etc.
A clear road ahead doesn't mean that it's ok to break the limit. Your H must be delusional to think he's above the law.
Disgusting.

Thank you,that was a lovely typo.It did me good,it made me chuckle.

How strange Cabbie 21, I could have been the author of your letter, apart from the angina attack part.
I don't know the answer, I have said the bit about being frightened and not feeling safe, to no effect. The only thing that seems to work is praising how many more miles he can get out of a tank of fuel than I can when he drives steadily. He is normally a gentle and very kind person.

My husband got like this the last couple of years he was driving . It was an absolute nightmare...I would grip the edges of the seat in total fear( I can’t drive ). He wouldn’t take any notice of anything I said ...he used to say that the engine needed to be ‘opened up’ occassionally. I would only get in the car with him when I was having to see my mum who lived 50 miles away...and take her shopping in for her ... otherwise I would go by bus or taxi , and told him the reason why!!! He didn’t like it but I didn’t care!! When mum died I never stepped back into the car with him and he kept coming home with little bumps and scratches all over it, I pointed this out and he screamed at me that people kept clipping him. He eventually saw sense and gave up driving ( his peripheral vision was deteriorating). It’s been a double edged sword because now he won’t go out of the house on foot. He gets taxis to hospital appointments and stuff like that but otherwise he’s a recluse!

bikergran you've claimed the title I thought was mine.
I know I'm a poor passenger. That doesn't meant that DH indicates enough. I have no problem with the speed he drives at, but I do wish he would indicate more than he does.

Contrary to popular belief, just because the road is clear is not a reason to speed. The maximum speed is still valid and rightly so. It maintains a distance between vehicles.

Those of us that remember when there wasn't a national speed limit will be aware of the groups of vehicles travelling at high speed. When you speed just because the road is clear, a similar thing happens when you catch up with the traffic and once again, large groups of vehicles travel along at high speed. One driver loses control for whatever reason and carnage.

I'm not a slow driver but I try not to speed. I used to drive fairly regularly, a distance of 120 miles using the M25 and one other motorway and trunk road. My top speed was generally 80 mph. One day there were high winds so my maximum speed during that journey was 60 mph. The journey took 10 minutes longer than usual so I now keep within limits. Much pleasanter drive!

Exceeding a speed limit on a otherwise empty motor way is not recommended. I recall reading of an accident where a driver had life threatening injuries in an accident where he had skidded on 'black ice' and went into a ditch Investigation showed he was driving at eighty in a fifty mile limit. No other vehicles had been involved as it was shown on camera that the unfortunate driver was the only one on that particular section at that time.

I hasten to add-yes im talking about motorway driving,my sons are good drivers,normal roads are fine,but motorways do seem to bring out the worst in people-you see a lot of people not indicating who just 'slide'across lanes-or roundabouts in general,(which also annoys my son,as hes a good observer of letting others know) a lot of drivers brake at last minute-which makes others have to do same,so i guess we cant entirely blame our 'chauffeur'!

Hellsgrandad - I endorse everything you say.

When did it simp0ly become OK to drive too fast? - because that seems to be the view of many people now.

You would be incarcerated if you went around waving a loaded gun - a car is not different. It has potential to kill if used unwisely.

I too sometimes annoy my DH by over-reacting when he’s driving. It’s difficult not to react as a passenger. If I’m driving, he goes very tense and often closes his eyes! We’re both careful drivers really. The thing that he does that always annoys me, though, is constantly complaining about other drivers’ behaviour. I tell him not be a Victor Meldrew!

I always think it’s strange that drivers feel their pride is dented if they are overtaken or if others try to push in in a traffic queue. Then the same people walk around a shopping area where they will hold doors open for others, not even think about who is walking faster or slower than them and are considerate to older or disabled people.

Being behind the wheel seems to change us into being competitive rather than our usual co-operative behaviour. Weird.

I would be very careful about this over confidence. My brother was like that and was eventually diagnosed with dementia.. I just hope your husband gets speeding fines rather than having a bad accident and is eventually persuaded to take more care.

Also he has angina! So may have a sudden heart attack? Btw, do you drive?

Yes, this personality change behind the wheel is bizarre.
DH is another one who gives almost a running commentary on other drivers' bad driving.
I actually think he has got worse since he started watching Formula One!

I never drive his car. I am seriously suggesting we take my car when we go on holiday, then if he does not seem well, or I just want to pop out on my own, I can do so. He can drive my car, but finds it less comfortable. Also it does not have Satnav, but if we need it we can use the phone map.

Satnav is distracting, yet another thing to take your eyes off the road. I do admit it can be useful, but I am quite capable of planning my route normally.
Recently we visited a NT place by following the brown signs, but it came into its own when we left by a different exit as we had not got a clue which way to turn when we came to the next unmarked junction.
I digress.
My point was that it is sometimes hard to keep checking your speed, it takes your eyes off the road. No excuse though.

His angina is normally very well controlled by medication. But good point. Thank you, loopy loo.

I’m the same sometimes with my wife driving lifting my foot to press on the imaginary brake pedal.

We’ve since learned the Smith System that describes the five things drivers must always do to drive safely.

www.quora.com/In-the-Smith-System-what-are-the-five-keys-to-safe-driving

Driving slowly is not one of them.