So annoyed with one son

Update: Thanks all......he and I have made peace of sorts. I told him that I was upset and that's why I told his siblings about what happened. His main complaint was that I used the word "attack" in my description of what happened. He couldn't believe that I would think that he would attack his own mother. I told him I meant verbal attack.
Anyway, we are ok. We emailed each other. He is not so angry now....he said it will all blow over, but he is not ready to meet with the family just yet. He needs time...fine by me. He continues to pay his debt....so far so good . Thanks again

crazyH, glad to hear that you have made peace with your
son. At the end of the day he will always be your son and you have acted with the best of intentions. You know as the say, no good deed ever goes unpunished! I think there also seems to be a law of unintended consequences. You do something to help and then it all goes wrong. Have been there myself. Next time he is late, ask for for a DD or SO to be completed so that neither you nor he have to worry. Best wishes.

To be a " Gift" there has to be no strings, the revenue will view these amounts as loans and therefore part of your estate and the standing orders are evidence to that. In practice you gave gained nothing from the inheritance tax point, probably the best way forward now is to make all 3 loans into gifts and get an accountant to confirm that.

£3000 is the annual allowance for small gifts
BUT you can give away any sum, as long as it does not affect your standard of living
YOU then need to live for 7 yrs or the tax man will want a share back

What you are doing is good it is not tax dodging it is tax planning, it is legal and everybody with any sense does it.
You must get professional advice or it can backfire badly.