Anyone else celibate?

Thank you all for your very supportive posts....????

Shinamae

CafeAuLait

Some people are asexual. Could this be it?

I did say in my original post that I could be asexual or even frigid but to be honest I don’t really want to delve into it and have therapy, I think dragging it up after all these years could do more harm than good. I am quite happy living my life the way I do.... and I have shared before that I am a recovering alcoholic and I started drinking at 15 so maybe that’s to do with it......

My apologies for missing that bit.

CafeAulait no apology necessary.....

A skin condition called lichen sclerosus has blighted my life for 40 years, getting worse all the time. I was forced to become celibate 25 years ago and now face ongoing multiple surgeries for cancer in the vaginal area. Pain is with me all the time. I try to find pleasures in other directions with varying degrees of success. DH has been incredibly understanding but I am well aware this has diminished both our lives.

Thank you olddudders for understanding. I didn't think anyone would.
Yes, I feel strongly about it. I just can't get that intimate with anyone else. I'd rather stay alone.

If in a lesbian marriage are you both wives, I have often wondered.

ShinamaeI don’t think it will serve any purpose dragging up what happened when you were 6, like picking a scab off. If you are happy as you are that’s wonderful, it really doesn’t matter.

Thank you Sparkling.....??

I'm asexual. Sex has never held any interest for me, I'd rather be reading a book.

Savvy if I had to choose, definitely a book!

If people choose to be celibate no one has a right to comment on it.

Sparkling

If in a lesbian marriage are you both wives, I have often wondered.

Of course we are both wives.....what else would we be ?

MissChateline I am always more interested in your references to your home on La Palma, as we have enjoyed a few days there over the years.
I hope you can go back soon ?

Shinamae whatever works for you and gives you peace of mind. Nothing else matters.

MissChateline

Sparkling

If in a lesbian marriage are you both wives, I have often wondered.

Of course we are both wives.....what else would we be ?

Sorry, that sounded a bit sharp......yes we are both “wives” but rarely use that term. I guess that l usually use “partner” .
We do and have always had a rather unconventional relationship as my wife was working and living abroad when we met and then after retiring bought a place in the Canary Islands. We alternate our time together and separately between UK and the island. It works for us as we both have different interests and enjoy having our own time. Lockdown has been interesting as we each have found ourselves stuck in the “wrong” place for a while. Here’s hoping for some normality soon.

A sub group for lesbians , please no ! It sounds like you are willing to be marginalized!! This is 2021!!!

I’ve been single now for 12 years and celibate but not through choice. I’d like to be in a relationship and have regular loving sex. I’m only 63 and still attractive but have resigned myself to being celibate for the rest of my life. It doesn’t bother me particularly but I do feel wistful sometimes when I remember how wonderful sex could be.

I have never been able to stay interested in sex after the first few years ...... I think quite possibly I have never met the absolute true love of my life.

My husband stopped making any effort towards intimacy 10 yrs ago, it was horrible, I didn’t even get a cuddle, so I accepted that my sex life was over. After 10 yrs of increasing acrimony I left, after a few months I met a new man, he really pushed all the right buttons, my libido was revived. I would never have believed that life could change so dramatically, even at 60 there is plenty of life to enjoy.

Katie same with my husband after my hysterctomy - totally lost interest and refused to talk about it. We are content, but it was me who had to accept.

DH is on medication that unfortunately has put an end to our sex life.

I never lost interest in sex itself. I lost interest in the individuals. I was always ready to go at it at the drop of a hat whereas they desired more of what I consider staging, sexy clothes, candles, planned romance and a performance. When I say they I mean more than one partner had eventually desired those things which to me seemed like a chore and sucked the spontaneity and fun out of the activity. Too much stress! Who the heck wants to have sex with someone who doesn't think you're enough? That you need something extra? I still chuckle to myself when I think about what they must have thought that they brought to bed because I never asked them to be more!