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Advice needed

(31 Posts)
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GrannyLiz1946 Sat 10-Apr-21 23:29:05

I haven’t posted for a long time but I have seen that this is a forum in which people are kind!
What would you do if someone you met at a group dinner , part of a club we joined late last year, made it clear that she was cutting you? I sat next to her at the dinner as she is the organiser and I was new. We chatted and although I was a bit nervous I thought it went well. But I have seen her and greeted her on 3 or 4 occasions since and she has basically cut me. So I’m upset!
Is it better to ignore this behaviour or to get her on her own and ask her what it was I did that annoyed her? I am going to bump into her a lot and I’m anxious to clear the air.
I was thinking of going to her house and asking her. Otherwise I’m unlikely to see her alone.
What is the best thing to do in your opinion?

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jeanie99 Mon 12-Apr-21 00:10:24

I wouldn't go out of my way at all to become close to this women, why would you?

Clearly she isn't interested in you so just be polite if you meet her and let things go.

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Ro60 Mon 12-Apr-21 01:29:13

Maybe she's 'faking it till she makes it' ? She - (like me) might actually be more reserved and takes a while to get to know people.

I bet she's a lovely lady really - she was sensitive enough to make you feel welcome in your first visit.
Get to know the other members and enjoy the group.

Aside, Re: Face-blindness;
I have a friend with this. Last year as I was driving, she was riding towards me on the cycle path. I didn't wave knowing she wouldn't recognise me & didn't want to blow the horn in case she fell off.
A few days later she mentioned seeing me. Embarrassed, I explained why I'd ignored her.
" I didn't recognise you, but I knew your number plate" ??

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heath480 Mon 12-Apr-21 01:32:37

Just ignore it,she won’t be worrying about you.I refuse to let people like that rent space in my head.

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grandtanteJE65 Wed 14-Apr-21 13:28:09

To me it sounds as if this lady simply has not recognised you when she has met you after the event you describe.

Next time don't just nod and say hullo, introduce yourself and remind her where you met. Start by saying, "You probably don't remember me..."

If after that she still cuts you, then yes it was deliberate and very rude, so let her stew in her own juice.

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Redhead56 Wed 14-Apr-21 13:44:49

If you felt nervous in the company why share the space in the first place. Just be yourself and be nice don’t chase after people for approval or friendship. Some people are so wrapped up in themselves they don’t notice other people.

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