Husband becoming obsessed with much younger single neighbour

I'm so glad to hear that the family is rallying round and being practical and supportive. I'm sure your neighbours are not laughing at you. It is a blessing in disguise that your DH is now in hospital. Don't accept him home without cast iron guarantees of help or there is clear evidence that he has come to his senses (unlikely?).
You're in a rotten situation which seems to have blown up from nowhere. I think other Grans are right about Lewy Body dementia.
We're all rooting for you. You're truly not alone

Oh dear, poor you, Bettinalove.

I don't think anyone is laughing at you but I think thoughts on a possible reason for your DH's behaviour may be correct.

If he does have dementia then the things he is saying may be coming from the disease and not from the fact that he hates you - he may not understand he is saying this.
It does sound as if he needs an urgent diagnosis. Would they do this whilst he is in hospital?

Nobody is laughing at you.
I think you must be heartbroken, and everyone has some experience of that.
Unfortunately in life horrible things happen, and you just need to hold your head up high and weather it out.
I think it’s time to get some legal advice.
Whether through illness, dementia, or circumstances changing, we can’t make someone love us when they turn against us.
Be strong and face it out. You WILL come through the other side. ❤️

Bettinalove
No one is laughing at you. Be more focused on how you and your supportive family are going to get a proper diagnosis and treatment for your husband.
Some years ago I worked in social care and looked after a lady of 88 with Alzheimer’s and her 92 year old husband. They were the sweetest nicest people but the lady did have this terrible illness with Lewy Body’s and was convinced that l was having an affair with her husband. This is a sad situation and will need sensitive handling as lm sure you are aware of. Maybe you could ask the doctor to recommend a mental health ward for elderly people whilst he is stabilised to a better state of health if possible because he is becoming a danger to himself and others.
I have seen this type of ward where elderly people are cared for when such circumstances arise.
Wishing you all the best and stay strong for your son’s and dil.

I can't add to the messages above except to say that you have a wonderful supportive family. So you and your husband must have done a good job bringing them up.
Good neighbours too.
Such a sad situation to end up with.

Oh bettina what a terrible story you poor lady but please don’t think anyone is laughing at you I m sure everyone is concerned and upset and I m sure as sure can be if your husband was in his right mind he would not be saying he can’t bear you
I can’t help feeling sorry for him too because he obviously has a delusional mental health problem and no longer sees you as his wife but someone who is keeping him away from the life he wants please understand he is NO LONGER in his right mind he is living in a parallel world

When my mum had dementia at times if I went to help Dad she would say leave him alone he is my husband she saw me as ‘the other woman’ I m only telling you this to try and explain how someone can slip into a place we cannot understand He may even be thinking the woman next door is ‘you’ and he’s being kept from you I m convinced he is not a bad man he is not seeing the world through normal eyes
Please please don’t let the GP get away with ‘see how it goes in a few months’ demand he has a brain scan and a proper mental health diagnosis this man needs help as much as you do
I m so glad your daughter in law is being supportive and hopefully the rest of the family will rally round and help you over the next few months while things are getting sorted
Good luck and keep your chin up xx

So sorry you are in this situation Bettinalove take the opportunity to talk to a Dr whilst your husband is in hospital and explain his inappropriate behaviour.
Let your family help and support you. I'm sure no one is laughing at you, most people nowadays have some experience of relatives with dementia or mental health problems. Be firm with medical staff about help being needed now not months down the line. Good luck

I'd just like to send my best wishes, you have had such a shock take care of yourself, glad you have a supportive family.

Bettinalove, I think it was inevitable that the police were going to be involved in the end. It is just a terrible pity that he has become injured as part of the 'dealing with it' process.

I'm sorry things are so bad for you right now.

Best wishes lovely lady. Sending you big hugs. Hope all turns out well.

Just to add what others have said.

Sending you my thoughts and sympathy, I do hope things improve.

As others have said much better than I can so I will just add that I’m sending you hugs and best wishes. Whatever is happening you will get through it.

This is all so very sad and something that could quite easily with happen to any one of us. It’s nobody’s fault and there is nobody to blame.

The question asked in the first sentence of the OP has been adequately answered in a single incident in DH’s own front garden.

If the police were called by another neighbour as described, the matter would surely be dealt with only as a breach of the peace and in the circumstances no further action would be taken.

Very sad.

Bettinalove - I think you can see here that nobody is laughing at you and the terrible turn of events. Even without knowing you, we can all see that your husband is not himself and is suffering from mental ill-health.

His actions have been upsetting and perplexing for some time now, and though it must be hard to accept, he definitely needs help.

He seems to have moved beyond what is acceptable when talking to the people in the road, so I'm sure the person who called the police just wanted to try to prevent an accident occurring. I'm sure I would have done the same if someone was behaving in a volatile way and shouting too.

I am pleased you have a good strong family, and although I'm deeply sorry for his fall, it does as you say, give you an opportunity to settle and reevaluate the possibilities ahead, alongside your family.

Sending you
You will no doubt have a difficult time ahead, but with your family and friends will get through.

Although his fall can’t have been pleasant for him, it’s good that he’s in hospital. It’s good that the police have been called. It’s good that there are witnesses to his behaviour. I promise, it may feel horrible but all of this will support you and him in making sure he gets help.

Lots of good advice on this thread. I'm also sure nobody is laughing at you. If you've seen a smile or what looks like laughter, remember that it's almost certainly the kind of nervous response that we've all seen some have in stressful situations and not in any way directed to you!

Agree with all encouraging you to take advantage of this time to insist that your husband gets tested before he's able to come home and to gather your children around so you can have some much needed rest and support. Please don't worry about the neighbors. What they think is truly of no consequence!

Aww, bless you. I’m so sorry, but it kind of needed to happen. Now it’s all out there, you can start to plan your next steps. So glad your children are supporting you. It does sound like he’s ill doesn’t it? As someone else said, he’s in the best place to get assessed, and hopefully now he’ll get the help he needs. Look after yourself, and please come back and let us know how things go.

All the best?

Bettinalove I don't have any more to add to the excellent advice you've already been given by other friends on here.
Truly, there but for the grace of God go any number of us.
Hold your head up sweetheart x

Dear Bettinalove, I’m so sorry you’ve been having such an awful time but thankfully you seem to have a supportive family. It must be so difficult for them too seeing their dad’s behaviour. I don’t think the neighbours will be laughing. It is good that the lady your OH has been fantasising about knows there may be a problem. It would be excellent if he can get the right sort of help now he’s in hospital. Best wishes.

So sorry Bettinaloveno one is laughing, it is very sad. I hope your husband gets the help he needs.

What a lovely, supportive family you have Bettinalove. Although this must have felt so traumatic it should bring things to a head and allow the doctors to work out exactly what is going on. I do wish you well and I wish you peace.

PippaZ

What a lovely, supportive family you have Bettinalove. Although this must have felt so traumatic it should bring things to a head and allow the doctors to work out exactly what is going on. I do wish you well and I wish you peace.

This is exactly what I would have posted.

Hold your head up and if you can smile and pass the time of day with your neighbours.

Things have come to a head- not in a way you could have imagined. Your family sounds wonderfully supportive.

Rest assured nobody is laughing at you- as neighbours tend to be they are curious as to why it happened- and will be totally on board with the explanation that he is undergoing tests whilst he is in hospital.

Thank you for taking the time and energy to update - I am sure I am one of many who have been thinking of you.
So sorry you are going through this, it must be truly awful for you all, including your husband, and I do hope the time in hospital includes an assessment of his wider physical and mental health. Your family sound lovely and helpful and good that they are now 'in the picture' and can support you both.
I am sure your neighbours will be sympathetic and understanding, as a previous poster said 'having tests' is a good phrase to use. Try and rest and if you feel up to it maybe get some things on paper - events, dates - as that could perhaps help with a diagnosis.

It is so sad that you have single-handedly faced this very difficult situation on your own for so long.
The responses of your family, the actions of your neighbour and the phone call from the woman across the road are expressions of the concern, compassion and desire to protect you which have been shown by the many posters here. No one could possibly laugh at you. Be swayed by the reactions on GN that those who live near you feel the same way.
Please be firm and insist upon receiving help without delay. Whilst your husband needs assessment, you need support.

I’m sure none of us expected this to escalate as quickly as it has, thankfully your family has rallied around you. In conjunction with them insist on proper diagnosis and medication for your husband before he comes home and make sure a proper care package is in place. You are going to need help to some extent.

Such a sad story you have my sincere sympathy