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Adult Daughter Ignored Mother's Day

(82 Posts)
LinFreed Mon 28-Mar-22 14:09:58

At the instigation of my son- her brother- my married daughter had arranged for the whole family to go out for lunch on Mother's Day yesterday.

Unfortunately, she was recovering from a virus and thought she shouldn't come as she was still coughing.

So, my son, SiL and two young GC had a lovely lunch together. My son gave me a loving card and paid for half the meal..

However, I never received a card or greeting from my daughter. This is the first year ever she has not acknowledged the day.

My SiL says he's having a difficult time with her and appeals to me to talk to her, which I have a few times neutrally. She's got everything she wants materially. SiL gives in to her for a quiet life and I'm generally always on call to babysit or help out, even though I have a full life. She doesn't work and has a part time housekeeper.

When I phoned her after the lunch, she sounded cold When I asked what her children had given her for Mother's Day, she reluctantly wished me a happy mother's day as an afterthought.

I didn't take it further, but I'm hurt. She is becoming very anxious; can no longer drive on motorways or go on the underground. She won't see a therapist because she says the last one intimated something about her FiL, which wasn't true.

Should I just leave her to it? Her husband keeps telling me how difficult she is, but I just say marriage is hard sometimes, to stay neutral. Even her MiL comments to me about her aloofness.

My DH passed away suddenly 5 years ago and she says she's still grieving.

OnwardandUpward Thu 07-Apr-22 12:39:39

It seems hypocritical to complain that Esmay has hijacked the thread and then use your post to talk about your daughter Linfreed.

Anyway, as I said before - in real life and online, conversations DO wander. It's not helpful for anyone to invalidate other people's problems and feelings or try to police what is said. If anyone did this IRL I think eyebrows would be raised. Especially to complain "they did ....and then to start talking about your family

FarNorth Thu 07-Apr-22 23:33:06

OnwardandUpward it is LinFreed's thread!

FarNorth Thu 07-Apr-22 23:37:18

LinFreed I hope they won't go if they are still testing positive.
I'm glad you are giving more thought to your daughter's situation, rather than worrying about Mother's Day.

LinFreed Fri 08-Apr-22 13:26:09

Ii actually started the thread, but no need to get angsty about it!

OnwardandUpward Fri 08-Apr-22 13:31:37

Did you change your name Linfreed ? Sorry for the misunderstanding.

LinFreed Fri 08-Apr-22 13:54:45

No, if you look back I started the thread as Linfreed but Esmay came on with her issue.

It's not a problem maybe a misunderstanding.. happe no.