husband doesn't like my baking...

My husband loves Lemon Drizzle cake and wolfs it down. One day I was out of flour but I had a packet of supermarket sponge mix in the cupboard which was near it"s sell by date. Mixed it up in 2 minutes added good dose of Sicilian Lemon essence and baked it. It was in his opinion the best I had ever made and he still asks for it! Yes I said I think I've cracked the recipe! I know about all the preservatives etc but it keeps him happy and the sponge mix makes about 3 cakes for 99p (plus eggs) & essence and they freeze beautifully. What not to love. I hide the packet mix at the back of the cupboard. Just watched Calendar Girls ....shall I enter my cakes in a cake competition? He He!

I am tired of people who are fussy about their food. We always ate everything at home and my family are the same. We eat what's put in front of us and like it. There's nothing worse than a fussy man, so important he must have exactly what he wants/likes. Bake what you like and let him eat it or not, you're doing your best and he should be grateful.

Why don't you take a look at BBC good food, read the reviews for tips and advice before baking/cooking.

I think there are a variety of things that are rather muddled up here. Retiring yourself, change in your way of life which you are not sure of, not sure where you are going. Your dream of making great food made more difficult by your health needs and husbands lack of interest. So might I suggest you have a little holiday? Either a real one of a few days away, doing something you enjoy, visit gardens go to the coast or whatever. While you are away you might notice what you are enjoying and think of ways they might carry on when you get home , so the marvellous NGS yellow garden book is out now and you can go and visit many wonderful gardens and support great charities. Besides seeing the gardens and getting great ideas for your own garden you may buy some wonderful plants and enjoy their refreshments. So you might choose to join a local garden club or just enjoy your own garden. Loads of other things, so as others have said U3a worth looking at , think back to what you had wished you could do when you were bringing up your children and had no time to try things out. So then the baking can still be a pleasure and you might see a cooking weekend to make something you have never tried , or go painting or whatever occurs to you. Then the cooking does not loom so large and you will be able to work out what works for y ou both in a calmer way. Take turns in cooking and see what he provides and if it is all wonderful? Eventually something that really matters to you will blossom and you will enjoy your own thing . Have a go at a few things and try them out this summer so you will not be thinking cooking all the time. You are worthwhile and valuable for yourself, not for what you do but who you are. Hope you find your pleasure soon but dont try too hard , just let it arrive. Wish you all the best

notgran

Let's look at this another way. Your husband has retired before you and has taken up the hobby of woodwork. He makes shelves that aren't straight, a garden table that is ugly and wonky, a laptop holder that doesn't... These items are about the home and are basically waiting to be chucked out when it finally dawns on your husband you don't appreciate his efforts. A friend had a real struggle going through just this and trying to not upset her husband by telling him his efforts are just not appreciated. Find your self another hobby that doesn't need your husband's opinion, for you to enjoy it.

Absolutely notgran: I can't stand cooking (even though my 'baking' is actually quite good....going by the few times I have made pies/cakes/pastries etc in recent years and when husband and family can squeeze something out of me it doesn't hang around for long)! My husband is a great cook....he likes cooking....probably why we are still married . spabbygirl, take up something that you would like to do that is fulfilling and enjoyable and not necessarily trying to please your husband...sounds like what you are doing at the moment is torture!

It seems to me that there are 2 strands to your problem, the first of which has been largely ignored by some harsh comments. You aren't just baking for your husband but are also baking for your medical complaint. For that reason, I wouldn't give up altogether but wouldn't expect my husband to eat the baking. I'd bake for me but make him the odd lemon drizzle cake. That automatically solves your problem of him disliking what you bake too which is the second strand!

I've been there. Years ago, I decided that we'd eat more healthily. We kept our own chickens for eggs, reared them for our roasts, I bought a yogurt maker and bread maker so we could have our own produced food. I was in my element until my teenage son started asking for shop bought bread, etc and my husband was silent on the matter apart from the odd moan about messy chickens. I realised that it was my dream, not theirs and although I was disappointed, life went on and I could find other ways of making a difference.

Maybe you could agree on whát you make? Maybe your husband would just lóve homemade granola bars for breakfast or as a snack to take to work! Classical teatime biscuits, cake or scones might work too! Just make a regular alount of what you both like and eat it in moderation!

Yes overreacting! If he doesnt like wholemeal or sourdough dont give him it! Have that yourself if you like it- make him a lemon drizzle or whatever he does like but if he mustnt have too much sugar then do it only now & then.or try the half& half sugar.see if he notices the change in that.?if he does & dislikes taste just go back to normal sugar but bake less often for him or find other more natural ways to sweeten things- fruit is good and adds its own sugars.Or some chocolate in or whatever.Or make savoury dishes to enjoy.😋

I agree some of the remarks have been on the harsh side, so please don't give up bakng because of them.

Actually, I think you are overreacting a bit - your husband may not care for everything you make, and I got the feeling that you are using wholemeal and cutting back on sugar because of your own health, not his.

If this is the case, I suggest you bake things for yourself in accordance with what you know you should and shouldn't bake, and bake things for him that he likes.

My mother suffered from multiple allergies and in the latter years of her life forced as us to eat what she could digest when we visited my parents, wash our clothes beforehand in soap powder she could be near etc. etc.

She complained endlessly that my father "showed no consideration for her health problems." In fact he did, going along with eradicating chemicals she was allergic to, eating without complaint or comment dishes she could digest, and never asking for favourites of his own that had disappeared from the menus because his wife no longer could eat them.

The only point where he persisted in having his way was continuing to smoke a few cigarettes a day and very occasionally drink a small glass of whisky before going to his bed.

I think we all need to take care that we do not let the health issues that may crop up here in later life dominate our lives and the lives of those we love.

It’s easy to feel hurt when you’ve worked hard to make something and then your other half doesn’t like it. It’s not personal though so maybe best just not spending your time doing it. I’m good at baking and would love to bake more/different things but it would be mainly me that would end up eating it and I would be like the side of a house! If you practice and get better bake for a local fete cake sale or old people maybe 🤔

I no longer have others to cook for and to be honest am just too wobbly/elderly for much baking. However, I always pop left over bread in my neighbours big chest freezer he keeps in his shed, and when in the right mood/health, make bread pudding. It’s a great favourite with friends and neighbours. And me. I’ve had to give my recipe to the Chinese couple who run the local chippie. They say it’s a better seller than the pickled eggs I told them where to get the pickling vinegar for, that Brits prefer. I have free fish and chips whenever I fancy them. Not to be missed now that they are so expensive.

Would you rather he force feed himself and say these are wonderful 🤣🤣

IMO the best thing about baking is the smell of it in the oven! I used to bake but when the children left home it dropped off and … part of the problem was because it was there, we ate it. I’d leave it to either baking just for yourself and making your husband a lemon drizzle cake for his birthday, or cutting it out altogether. Get another hobby fixed for yourself before he retires, something outside the home! PS I think you were over reacting and that the comments haven’t been too harsh … they could have been much worse 😊

Try not to take it personally spabbygirl. My husband hates home
baking full stop, says you can taste the eggs in it 🤷🏻‍♀️. The really funny thing though, is his favourite thing is eggs, cooked anyway just not in my baking. I just joke that if it’s in a wrapper and has a sell by date he’ll eat it. Though I do make exceedingly good cakes, excuse the pun, he buys those shop bought ones which I think just taste too sweet and all the same. Everybody’s different.

However I wonder how much some of us feel validated as women by our baking or cookery skills? It’s a bit of a throwback to the days of “homemakers”, “wives and mothers”
A man is no less of a man because he lacks DIY or lawn mowing skills, so why should we feel demeaned if our cooking or baking isn’t appreciated?
Just asking - because we do!

Dont bake!! Simple

"One pot of luxury preserve from the microwave" by Sonia Allison

Thank you for this recommendation Amalegra, I've just ordered it from Amazon.

It's the same author who did the "Dairy Book of Home Cookery" which I had many years ago.

Biggest red flag in your post is IBS. Getting healthy is a priority especially in retirement if you want to enjoy the last chapter of life. I've been a retired nurse going on 5 years and have painfully watched lots of retirees go through h*ll because they didn't understand why proper nutrition was so important. Have you seen Forks Over Knives? Learning how food heals has been my pursuit for decades. You could join a support group on fb with FOK or Dr. John McDougall and learn about healthy eating. I too learned to make sourdough bread but it's 100% freshly ground rye (easier to digest than white or wheat) and add olives, corn, pickled red onion and jalapeno, rosemary, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds and caraway. I enjoy the process tremendously but as it is just the two of us, I bake mostly demi-baguettes and freeze them with 4 oz jars of freshly made guacamole for hubby's lunchbox. It makes great veggie pizzas or savory galettes loaded with veggies. I love learning about foods from other countries and experiment in the kitchen all the time with a fusion of plant based cuisines. I started a large garden with lots of herbs, 3 small greenhouses and even though I'm a Qigong and Flow Artist, I am learning Calligraphy and Tai Chi just to learn something new. Health is Wealth. A good start is here. www.drmcdougall.com/education/ I hope you find joy in everything you do!

Nowadays I never use wholemeal flour for baking, always white flour and my baking is usually liked!

As others have said, why not try a course? I did one with our local education authority last year. It was a 10 week ‘hobby bread course’ and it was brilliant. There are also other catering courses on offer. And might there be opportunities to donate your bakes or to find raise for a charity? Baking can be a very satisfying and soothing hobby. Keep trying different things and good luck for the future.

There's nothing worse than a fussy man, so important he must have exactly what he wants/likes.

LuckyFour you'd love my husband then with his strict Slimming World regime!
He's taken over our cooking and shopping, but he only buys the things he wants.
I don't say anything though as he has lost six stones since July 2021.

Every so often I rebel and have a carb- and fat-fest day while he's at work 😋 🤣

I wonder if you could either give the products to neighbours or even a food bank, seems a shame to waste home cooked cakes bread ect, or even the homeless, don’t be disheartened not everyone has the same taste just because hubby doesn’t like it, doesn’t mean to say others won’t big hugs

I agree with Callistemon21, try some different recipes such as soda bread, it should suit both of you. Maybe he doesn't have such a sweet tooth as you? In that case simple things like apple cake are not so sweet, or an old fashioned boiled fruit cake which just can't go wrong. Much of the sweetness from these comes from the fruit and you can use different types, some less sweet than others. Maybe rolls to have with soup at lunch time, or with cheese? They'd take up less room in your freezer if you make a batch. There are so many varieties using oats, partly brown flour, or adding onions or cheese.

Honestly I'd give up on the wholemeal or wholewheat flour, it's an acquired taste and few of us really like it, even if we go through the motions.

As regards your IBS, you can add things like psyllium husk which don't drastically change the texture, or make some sort of oat bread. But whatever you make, be sure to follow a proper recipe as any bread can be very sticky and solid if you get the balance wrong. And never leave out the sugar as it is what makes the yeast work.

I'd just make things for you and change the recipe so he'd enjoy them.

Bake and enjoy tucking in to the things YOU like. Let your unappreciative partner bake his own preferences, the results may surprise you both, or he might realise baking is neither instinctive nor easy for everyone. He can read a recipe just as you can, he can shop for the ingredients, let him get on with it.

And then you can have fun tweaking recipes and experience together!