Wealthy husband won't spend any money

Yes, it was misleading - but the OP subsequently clarified matters and as is so often the case people don’t read the updates before wading in.

I'll try and clear a few points up and the I'll put this post to bed
He took early retirement because he found out how big his pension pot was , we both agreed it would be nice to do more together , whilst we can. I think he just didn't realise how much things have gone up in price. We used to go on abroad, in a 3 or 4 star hotel for around £500 each . Its now a thousand each , which he things is too much, although we can afford it . If I suggest a cheaper hotel , he says, no it will be rubbish . So we book nothing . I do know how much h money we have and appreciate it has to last. My frustration is , we both agreed we would go out more , the odd pub lunch or weekend away etc . He's been retired 2 years now and we have hardly done anything together. I have tried talking to him in the past to no avail. We have now talks and he had agreed we should be doing more, so fingers crossed

I am glad you have talked. i suppose you could book the holiday that has doubled in price on the agreement you'll only do it every other year and you may find he enjoys so wants to go every year. Sometimes we get out of the habit of doing things and it becomes anxiety inducing rather than enjoyable. Hopefully you'll sort it out

Agree with Skate. I never had a retirement with my husband, I would willingly have spent the rest of my life just here with him rather than holidays. He was the most generous and loving husband though. Miss him everyday, I know lots put upwith husbands they don't really get on with though.

My parents had just 4 years retired.
Then they died.
I don't always make the best of every day - but I do know I'm lucky.
❤️

I think the post title may have given a wrong impression,surely a "wealthy" husband shouldn't have been the issue,that of course was amplified by the OP stating she'll be a "very wealthy widow" if he dies first.
I dont and never have given though to the "wealth" in the family its sounds grubby and grabby .
Maybe she should have just written her OH has issues about going places with her DESPITE not having financial problems.She might have got some more sympathetic answers

I think that's really the point paddyann

I think the problem is that the husband is content at home and just doesn't want to go far.

Debbi58 at least he is talking now!
Well done for giving him a gentle prod.
You may find there are last minute opportunities that are discounted or that by going slightly off-season your favourite hotels will have offers.
🤞

Yes, he has changed from what he said before, is what the disappointment is. And won't accept compromises cost wise either.

Germanshepherdsmum

I have read the full thread. Nothing changes my mind about a woman trying to get her husband to spend more money than he wishes.

Where did the OP say that she wanted her husband to buy expensive holidays for her? I can't find that, only that she would like to do more with him.

Some people were brought up to live below their means. He sounds like one of them. I'm like that even though I'm fairly comfortable. In retirement I've turned into a serious homebody, and having a set routine makes me comfortable. But I do enjoy the occasional day trip or beach trip weekend and having a dinner out every now and then. Maybe just discuss places he would like to go and try to find a middle ground. Maybe eat out but not at an expensive place. Lots of places in the states are cheap and delicious! I personally don't like spending a fortune on one meal. Maybe take a day trip once a month he picks a place one month then you pick etc. Would any of that work?

Callistemon213

I think the problem is that the husband is content at home and just doesn't want to go far.

This^ Nor do I.

Find a balance. You can work this out.

My husband is content at working at home, golfing with me along. Skiing if the new knees hold, playing tennis and the occasional river cruise (not as many as in the near past years as we've done all of them).

Since writing this, I have noticed he's more comfortable at home. Pottering in his garage or gardening. He also admitted he's concerned about his elderly parents. Maybe he feels he needs to be around for them? I do understand that , is just not what we talked about pre retirement, 2 years ago. I'd also like to spend more time with him, one of my daughters has been poorly the last week, so I've been busy with our 3 grandchildren anyway

There's no wrong or right, is there?
I'm sure there must be a compromise, somehow.

Would he consider doing a garden/plant/garage type outing at least once in a while?

Debbi my husband (and I) are concerned about going away as his mum (who lives alone) is 100 now. However we can be back quickly if we don't go too far- even Europe is just a few hours.

We can call her from our holiday and our children have said they would visit and she also has a lovely cleaner weekly and a gardener too.
She has regular things on a few times a month so we can pick a "busier week" if we want.

I think we can do it. And your husband probably can too.

Thank you for that, NotSpaghetti, my own grandmother lived until 103. She was lovely, really miss her . Unfortunately for us , it's only hubbie. He has 2 estranged adult children, so no help there and no siblings either.