How do you get on with In Laws ie son or daughter in law

My eldest son's partner is OK but I wouldn't say we were friends. She will help in a crisis and is good to the DGC. Standard of housework is poor and the children lack manners but I blame both parents for that. I've never been invited to a school play or DGCs birthday celebrations and they are teenagers now. When the eldest was in hospital with asthma I found out on FB so not a close relationship.
Youngest son has had 3 long term relationships. The first was OK to chat too but had mental health problems resulting in several middle of the night frantic calls from son for help. The second was sociable but thought it her god given right to smoke drugs at our home. Not the sort I wanted to be friends with, but I was nice to her.
The last one was with him 3 years. She was absolutely lovely, hard working, caring, and we really loved her. I was very sad when they parted as I really missed her.
DD has had 2 long term relationships. The first was abusive to her and is the dad of my DGD. He wants nothing to do with the child until she's an adult.
The second was very caring and I did like him a lot. He treated my DD and DGD really well. Problems arose as he kept changing his mind when they were going to move in together. There were other thing wrong and I thought he might have a mental health problem. After they parted DDs friends told me he was into drugs which explained the bizarre occasional behaviour. I did like him though and he was very respectful in our home, often helping to cook, loading dishwasher, helping DGD etc.
I couldn't honestly say I was really close friends with any of them though

I hope you have a happy relationship with your husband, sounds like you've had a few stressful situations with your children and their partners. I hope things settle down for you 💐.

My son in law is fabulous. He even bought me a t-shirt for Christmas this year with "my son-in-law is my favourite child" written large on the front 😂. References a family joke that my youngest child (of 3 children) and the only boy, is the favourite. Not true of course.

I love both of my daughters' partners very much. My elder daughter has been married for 13 years and my younger daughter has been with her partner for 11 years, although they are not married. I get on very well with both of them and think myself lucky that my daughters have such wonderful partners. I never got to meet my daughter-in-law as my son passed away aged 6 in 1980. 😢 He was the eldest and would have been 52 now.

Oh Peaseblossom - that’s so sad.🥲

I don’t like the way that my son in law always prioritises contact with his family so that my daughter and grandchildren spend far more time with his parents than me. I find it very hurtful and have told my daughter how I feel but nothing changes sadly.

we get on very well with our sons in law, they're always ready to lend a hand if we need anything doing, we don't interfere in their lives, and they treat our daughters well.

sparkle1234

I have 2 wonderful dils . They get involved in every aspect of family life and they are both very good for our sons . I treat them as equals /friends . I occasionally see one for lunch or cinema because they live nearby and she texts me frequently with news etc .
I don't monopolise her , I'm very aware she has her own family . The only thing I sometimes find hard is never getting any alone time with my son . They are always together , not a bad thing of course . A daughter will see her parents independently as I did but I do miss my son . He works a difficult shift pattern so I'm very aware that they need time together when he is off . I was never friends with my MIL , she was very aloof . I was always polite and respectful and made sure she was always included and invited regularly for lunch etc but I don't think she particularly liked me much .
I never want my sons partners to feel that so I'm determined to build good relationships with them . Luckily not difficult because they are both lovely .

I don't get on brilliantly with my DiL, but....she does understand I need Son Mum time, so it happens, sometimes with a child for an activity where we sit with coffee and said child does their thing. Yes I wish that we nattered..like women do together...maybe one day when they are older, who knows?