Hi MT I'm a bit like bags - don't really mind (but I do care) what happens to my mortal remains once I've died, and I think my close family (husband, grown up children, siblings) know me well enough to have a good stab at doing what they think I'd approve of. I'd like to see a funeral director try and bully any one of the aforementioned family members . I can imagine my daughter strolling in and saying "Cheapest (coffin) you've got, please" and if met by any sales talk her response would be "Did you not hear what I said?" accompanied by one of her sweet smiles.
The family death that affected me the most to date was my mother's death. We all knew she was dying and she let us know what music she wanted played (Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring) and all sorts of other details. She gave every single one of her belongings/possessions away which meant that the day she died we left with some framed photos in a supermarket bag, plus the two new nighties we had bought for her - and which my sister then claimed (saying "Why not, they're good as new" when I said "Yikes, how can you do that?") But, despite all this down-to-earthness, I still freaked out at the end and bolted, I couldn't face it that my mother was dead.
I think you can do all the planning in the world to prepare for the death of a loved one, but you never know how you're going to be till it happens.