I thought it was an excellent article. I'm not frightened of death for myself, and am more than happy to discuss it! It was a revelation when I realised that it was far harder for friends and relatives to think about than it was for the dying in many cases. Seeing a friend who was angry with her husband because he was about to die and leave her with debts was another revelation, as was watching a male friend with cancer asking his wife why it couldn't be her instead, as he was the one who had earned all the money and now wouldn't get to enjoy it. That made for an interesting dinner party, I can tell you.
I took my children along to all funerals from babies. I wanted them to get used to the concept. They asked me about ten years ago what sort of funeral I wanted, as BiL died without instructions, and I asked for a cardboard box, no fuss or expense and my ashes to be scattered unto a tree with a good view over rolling countryside. Earth to earth, ashes to ashes and make decent compost is my philosophy.
But the relatives need to get over it somehow. Funerals are for them. I hear people get angry when someone's funeral wishes aren't adhered to, and think, do they not realise how stupidly expensive it all is? Unless it has been saved for, how can anyone expect any kind of elaborate send-off. But my father refused to discuss or save for any such thing, and even between us four daughters it nearly bankrupted us carrying out his wishes, particularly since money wrangles went on with his business partner for years afterwards.
I don't think people should have to suffer at all in their death. I want legalised euthanasia. I want affordable funerals. I want DBH to be allowed to cremate me in recycled floorboards if that is what he wishes. And when my sisters pick my hymns, I know they will choose 'I am the Lord of the Dance' just as we did when my father died. It was his favourite hymn and it annoyed the vicar intensely. I will let my sisters choose the hymns, if any, because it's so awful to go to a funeral where no-one knows the words. Or maybe I could ask them now. Maybe I shall.