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Religion/spirituality

same sex marriage-in church

(305 Posts)
paddyann Mon 21-May-18 22:07:28

The Church f Scotland general Assembly voted today t allow same sex marriages in church .Is this "moving with the times" a way to increase attendances and membership of the church? Or a step to far .In my circle of friends are several gay couples who work in the church and for the church ,most have married but by regitrars and I knw they will be delighted that the church will at last bless their union.

Anniebach Wed 23-May-18 19:37:35

No church / Chapel should be forced by law to conduct marriage between two people of the same sex I fully support civil marriages for people of the same sex. B

What would happen if a man who chose to be a woman wanted to marry a woman who chose to be a man

Smileless2012 Thu 24-May-18 09:38:42

I do agree Annie that no minister should be forced to conduct a marriage between two people of the same sex if it goes against his/her beliefs and conscience.

That said if ministers are happy to conduct same sex marriages they should be able to do so.

Grandma70s Thu 24-May-18 13:05:22

The patronising attitude of the Church towards homosexuality is the single biggest cause of my disillusion with Christianity. No-one has the right to tell other people who to love, and all couples should be treated equally.

Anniebach Thu 24-May-18 13:33:27

Smileless, the problem is no priest can conduct a same sex marriage untill it is passed by the governing body. I have friends who are priests, some want to conduct these marriage services some do not , it really isn’t that easy to ignore scripture . I am sure in time it will be accepted but how long? Heaven knows.

Smileless2012 Fri 25-May-18 13:52:10

I didn't know that Annie. Thank you for pointing that outsmile.

nigglynellie Sun 02-Sept-18 17:26:57

' In my fathers house there are many mansions' This of course is only my opinion, and I appreciate and respect that other people believe and think differently.

paddyann Sun 02-Sept-18 20:21:32

niggly I have a young friend who has worked in the C of Scotland for many years ,she teaches music to kids,takes the brownie ack and plays music in church for services and weddings.She is well thought of by all who know her.
She is a lesbian and has been with her partner for a number of years and not "allowed" the validation of her relationship from the church she loves an dgives her time to freely .This has made a massive difference to her .

Anniebach Sun 02-Sept-18 20:33:06

Paddyann, as the general assembly has accepted same sex marriages I assume the choice is left to the individual minister? If so your friend could marry in a church where the minister has a different view to his colleague.

It is upsetting for your friend but if it is the ministers belief he is entitled to have his belief respected, it isn’t personal and your friend must know this. I hope she can marry

nigglynellie Tue 04-Sept-18 17:31:12

Of course no clergy can be instructed/forced into conducting a same sex marriage any more than marrying people who are divorced. Obviously if the clergy concerned have deeply held beliefs then sensibly 'somebody' would find another who holds a different view. I too hope your friend can get married.

NanKate Tue 04-Sept-18 17:47:22

I perfectly understand and accept LGBT people are equal to heterosexual people. However when I see two women or two men in wedding outfits I feel uncomfortable. I don’t know why but I do.

Maybe it is my upbringing which could have caused my feelings. Having said that when my DD died my mum gained a few male gay friends because she said she felt safe with them.

paddyann Tue 04-Sept-18 18:17:08

I have gay cousins and a gay neice and had friends and workmates who were gay all my life .I never understood why they were treated so badly by a lot of folk especially back in the 70's.I have a gay friend who married because it was expected of him and had children,he had men friends outside of the marriage and as far as I'm aware his wife didn't know .
Its surely better that people can be who they are than live a lie and I believe that the church ,of all denominations needs to change
.IF its the rule of the church that same sex marriage is allowed then the ministers must adhere to the rule.Just the same as they adhered to the rule that said divorcees could marry in church .Like any other institution or club ,dont cherry pick to suit yourself

Anniebach Tue 04-Sept-18 18:25:14

The Anglican Church accepts marriage of divorcees but it does mean all divorcees can marry in church , the reasons for the divorces can be considered.

nigglynellie Tue 04-Sept-18 19:18:47

I too had a gay uncle and first cousin, both much loved and now sadly dead. I have absolutely no problem with anybody about anything personal, but I also do think that nobody should be forced to do anything contrary to their deeply held religious beliefs, and should be left to the particular clegy(persons?) conscience.

Anniebach Tue 04-Sept-18 19:35:52

I fully agree niggly

BlueBelle Wed 05-Sept-18 06:18:33

Surely if a vicar/ priest is true to his ‘calling’ he will not be going by what _ he wants_ but by his churches descisions

Surely it has to have some solid ‘rules’ which may go against the personal feelings of the vicar For instance what would happen if a vicar refused to marry people from a different race because ‘ he was not comfortable with it’
It couldn’t happen could it why is this different ?

nigglynellie Wed 05-Sept-18 07:00:16

Because some clergy deeply believe that the bible teaches that marriage is between a man and a woman and that anything else is a mortal sin. Marriage between nations is not a biblical issue and therefore acceptable.

Anniebach Wed 05-Sept-18 08:30:02

Nothing to do with personal feelings, if only it was that easy.

Vickixx Thu 03-Jan-19 01:36:24

100% yes. Marriage is about the union, celebration and blessing of two people in love, not about gender. My nephew is gay, married and Openly talks about his belief in God. They are both professionals and had a wonderful registrar wedding but I know deep down he would have loved the spiritual works ?

BlueBelle Thu 03-Jan-19 07:27:48

Surely there are many things in the Bible that have changed with time Women’s rights for one. One of the commandments is love thy father and mother do you still have to love them if they beat you, rape you surely the Bible is guidelines and has to be adapted for the times and situations there can’t be one size fits all
If you believe God made man would he make homosexuals then not allow them equal rights or would he make them to see how many people are accepting and willing to change structures to accommodate them ?

Anniebach Thu 03-Jan-19 08:48:17

BlueBelle the commandments were given to the Jews when they had fled Egypt , suppose a moral code.

Christ was asked which of the ten was the greatest , he put them into two commandments, ‘ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and your neighbour as yourself *

He was then asked ‘ who is my neighbour? He replied with the parable of The Good Samaritan .

GabriellaG54 Thu 03-Jan-19 19:11:57

Not in favour of any of it.

Bridgeit Thu 03-Jan-19 19:49:48

I have always wondered why Jesus asked his disciples to leave their families & follow him. I wanted to know more about how their wives & children felt about it, to me it some how seemed quite contradictory to the teachings & meaning of Christianity .

Anniebach Thu 03-Jan-19 19:52:00

I don’t think God made homosexuals , same as he didn’t make me 5’ 7” and my sisters 5’ 0”

mcem Thu 03-Jan-19 20:00:44

Nothing disgusting in the relationship (ie marriage) enjoyed by my Dd and DiL. There's a lot that's disgusting in the views expressed by lioness and GG!
Gets tedious when you see a poster's name appear on a thread and can predict exactly what they're about to say!

Anniebach Thu 03-Jan-19 20:12:31

Bridgeit, Christ healed Peter’s mother in law so there must have been family contact . I don’t know if they totally abondoned their families, it was the very start of Christianity , a lot of work to do in a very short time, and when he said follow me he also said they should be willing to die. He started his work with a small number , they had to understand his teachings before they could go out and teach ,they were Jews .