greatnan yes, correct, I am new, well a month or so. One thing I have found quite confusing is remembering who's who. Pretty much all there is to go on is a name, there are no physical clues as if real life (and I find remembering who's who there difficult too!)
Given that, what I was saying, is there is tremendous potential to be hurt over an innocent remark. There are a lot of members and a lot to remember and also a heck of a lot with similar names. I don't think anyone comes on here with the intention of causing hurt to others but you raised, what was for you, an incredibly emotive subject. I saw the remark jo made this morning about you perhaps needing reassurance. Maybe there's a hint of truth in that. I can't imagine the pain and distress you've been through but in what is, after all, an Internet forum there is potential for hurt and this might not help you.
I don't think your PMs were nasty but they were designed to cause Jo and Nonu to feel guilty. Maybe you need that but I don't think it's fair to others.