Has Gransnet changed for the worse?

Actually lemon it is a bit unfair to say that it is us remainers who are argumentative or fire things up, there are a few strident posters on the leaving side of Brexit.

I love gransnet, a great site

thank you all

I'm sure gransnet loves you, too andy

I love you andy.

Bikergran.....100 lines and stand in the corner with a dunces hat on...bovver not bother!!!! ;-)

I stumbled into this forum believing it was for all grandparents both male and female. I had made a couple of posts before I became aware that the forum was in the main for women only

Being male, I was thinking of not posting further, when in response to those first couple of posts I made, there appeared posts pointing out my spelling and grammar mistakes particularly from one very longstanding member of this forum.

Being someone who has suffered from a mild form of dyslexia for my entire life, the action of the above member and others made me decide to remain on the forum and keep on making posts.

Like others, I find the actions of the "grammar police" on this forum its worst facet and is always likely to generate harsh counter posts bringing about general aggression in threads.

However, for me, the comments on my spelling mistakes did eventually turn into an asset. For many years I have been able to use spelling and grammar checkers on my desktop and laptop computers in the office where I work. However, the criticism I received on this forum made me look around for a mobile version of those apps. In that, I found "Grammarly" a great app for phones and tablets which I now use for the checking all text documents on mobile. It is not perfect, but a great asset for persons such as myself

So, as the old adage states, " it is an ill wind which blows no one any good"

I’ve been on GN since day one. I’m pleased to say that on the whole it has been brilliant and I have had some fantastic support during hard times ( illnesses, hardships, family issues, school appeals and plenty more) and couldn’t thank those members enough for their help, kindness and support . But (isn’t there always one ) there are a few times when I’ve thought “that’s it, I’m finished” . Over the years I have had my spelling and grammar corrected and couldn’t care less. But being verbally abused and threatened with being “outed” because I said my DGD didn’t like her teacher , being told by PM that I must’ve been dragged up ( and much worse) for saying the word “bloody” on a jokey thread about jigsaws and way back in the early days someone (no longer around ) told me that she was considering reporting my DDiL and DGD to the “authorities” for helping at the stables in return for stabling her horse are taking things to a whole another level entirely . Imagine it in RL ? You couldn’t make it up could you ?

I left for a few months over Christmas / new year as my DH was very poorly and have only recently started posting again ( I must be bloomin’ soft in the head ) but, spending most of my working days sitting alone I really do value the virtual friendship that I get from most of the GN members ...... and maybe I’m a glutton for punishment

I have been a member of GN almost since inception and I think there has been a real downwards trajectory in the level of discussion on many subjects, especially political.

When GN started, and before the 2015 election, I can remember threads where people with different views could actually swap opinions and ask those with different views questions about why they supported those policies and get reasoned answer. Now you can ask someone a question until you are blue in the face and no answer will ever come. They stick to a party line and follow the royal dictum of 'never explain', although they usually ignore the prequel to that phrase, never complain, by complaining constantly

The other problem is that most political threads end up being personal sniping matches between 3 or 4 posters, that go one for page after page until the original thread is completely lost. This personal sniping is now spreading to other threads - this ridiculous sniping about minor typos in posts, for example.

I doubt if a single one of my posts (even this one) has ever been free of any typos or minor errors. I only correct if they affect meaning, Should anyone feel a need to draw my attention to any of my typos, I can tell them now they are wasting their time.

Grandad 1943, this forum is only mainly female because men do not sign up for it - and there is a not a lot we can do about that.

lol Nanny

Been here since ermmm I think 2011/12 and will always whichever way GN turns be so grateful for the support when my dh died, lots and lots of virtual condolences (if they would have been cards I would have had to paper the wall with them)

From compassionate strangers

I welcome the strident views because it alerts me to who I don’t want for a friend ? and who I do
It’s unforginable in my mind to correct someone’s spelling a lot is down to predictive text anyway
As for Remainers being more vocal you ve got to be kidding!

I've been a member for about a year and a half, and haven't really noticed any significant change for the worse - in fact I've seen more new names in the last while, which I think is a good thing. In forums like this, some people join, stay around for a while and then drift away, so "new blood" is always needed.

Every now and then there is a thread which provokes a bit of a spat between members. I've been around long enough now to recognise names of those who I might feel share my opinions and others who don't.

I'm not in UK, so completely avoid the political threads. If I want opinions about Brexit or anything else, I can listen to BBC radio, watch the debates on TV or read newspapers. As others have said in this thread, people are so fixed in their views that no amount of debate is going to change their minds.

I read Gransnet mainly for opinions about grandparenting and relationships and have found lots of useful information from other's experiences.

Bikergran I remember that episode and also when you were having problems finding a job. People I thought were very sympathetic towards you. There are some compassionate people on GN.

I think I have been around about 7 years- I really cannot remember when I first stumbled across it.

I have met some really nice people in RL at our coffee mornings.

I hope things are easier for you now Gillybob I can't believe people can PM about these things, really beyond the pale. I'm glad you decided to return.
I have a moan on Pedants corner about spelling and grammar but not aimed at anyone personally. Its very ill mannered to correct a post in this way either publicly or privately.

Gillybob puts me in mind of one of my D's. Down to earth and no side to her. Great ! That'll do me.

I love the fact that gillybob is back - she’s a breath of fresh air (and common sense)!

gilly has been around a long time and is a good example of how GN was and should be.
Honest and forthright, having the occasional well-justified rant, offering and also accepting advice and sympathy when needed.
Quite the opposite of the nit-picking, the chauvinistic and patronizing (often but not always from men) and the snooty and snobbish, more and more of which have appeared recently.

I'm new here- But not new to change, be it seemingly sudden or gradual- Yet at the same time I'm totally guilty of entertaining nostalgic daydreams of how things used to be perhaps better- And perhaps some stuff was! But the fact remains that everything changes- I've no choice other than to adapt, to welcome views that challenge rather than reinforce my current views or old ones I've clung to- That said, I do think environment is worth defending, but that fighting words don't necessarily need to be used to do it- Instead I think it best to recognize when I'm gravitating towards or on the verge of responding to negativity with negativity- Like a magnet!

Good post Rosecarmel

I think those who think GN is ‘on a downward trajectory’
Are perhaps regretting that there are now less posters agreeing with their own views.

GN is an open forum not a small club for like minded people, after all.
It’s a mine of information, help and sympathy when needed, a space to vent and offload problems, shared humour, and the RL meet ups are lovely, I have made some good friends through that.

I’m new, really enjoying so many interesting threads and am so impressed and humbled by the compassion shown when someone posts in distress.

I do find the personal abuse on the political threads difficult so I don’t read them. Sad really as it would be interesting to hear differing views.

Being unhappy about the insidious unpleasantness does not negate the positive threads. I am not conflating 2 separate issues. Neither am I in any way nostalgic or sentimental.
I appreciate the time when posters shared profiles and we felt we knew each other better. Then we were disappointed to realise that posts could be spread all over msm and FB.
Hence the lack of trust and the withdrawal of those profiles.
Then there's GN's on-going quest to generate income streams, however badly-received their overtures are.
It's only recently we've had the arrogant spelling/ grammar vigilantes. I was never aware of such posts being sent as pm's
It isn't about cosy cliques either nor gangs of bullies. Such comments certainly did appear in the past but rarely descended to the level of accusations we now see on a regular basis.
So no, it isn't all about brexit and left/ right political schisms. I regret the lack of general friendliness, the sharing of interesting topics and even more the lack of humour.
I congratulate those who attempt to keep that going whether in the Argy or within the entertaining posts of phoenix.

Charleygirl yes I too will remember the support from Gnetters, complete strangers but there to lend a virtual hand with advice and encouragement.

Tentatively having a word.
I have been a member for only very few years, and loved the site , mostly.
I never post on the ‘argumentative’ threads, as I don’t seem to be able to put my thoughts down coherently, and am too timid to fight back. Is it worth it?
I have found that there are people that I seem to get to know, a bit, and enjoy their posts.
But, before Christmas, things changed, and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to stay. Happily I did, and a lot of the nastiness has gone, I think.
Lots of names have disappeared, but I am so glad that folk like the lovely Gillybob are back, and on form.
I enjoy the rallying round to folk with problems that they can discuss on here and get support and help.
Phoenix is always worth a read. Not meaning to leave out the others I enjoy, but at the moment I can’t recall names.
I hope Gransnet, carries on , and doesn’t deteriorate.

I don't think there has been a downward trend.
Except maybe because of the neverending stress of the Brexit mess we're all getting more frustrated. I know I am.
Non brexit threads usually still interesting and helpful.

Well fennel you're someone whose views I tend to respect but, as I stressed, it's about the other issues too and not only brexit frustration!
Eg In the last half-hour there has been yet another visit from the spelling police on another thread!