GNHQ here - please read

Elegran

From Growstuff - " . . posts weren't nasty. They were deleted because they referenced one post. Now it looks as though those who had posts deleted were being nasty. " Surely it is not beyond the admin at Gransnet to either say that the post repeated a deleted one in a response to it, or to only delete the repeated part - replacing it with^"quote deleted"^ or some such words?

The other answer is for evryone to avoid repeating an offensive post and just refer to it "XXXX was out of line to post what they did!" and so on.

Please refer to janeainsworth's post. We didn't repeat an offensive post (and undermine the spirit of this thread) and I would be grateful of you didn't imply that we did.

I look forward to more positive, if at times spirited, discussion without personal attacks.

I want to understand the definition of veiled posting so that we all understand it.

Anyone got any ideas?

Aldom I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your son.

There are so many lovely GN's so I hope you'll soon feel comfortable enough to talk about whatever you choose too.

The other answer is for evryone to avoid repeating an offensive post and just refer to it "XXXX was out of line to post what they did!" and so on
Elegran this is the reply I got when I asked why my post was deleted.
In case you missed it, A Poster said she had been trolled/stalked on another thread.
I (and others) politely responded that we thought she hadn’t been. No one repeated the offensive post.
I think that unfounded accusations of trolling are in fact a form of trolling, and I can’t understand why GNHQ should want to stifle discussion.
If posters can say they are bullied or harassed, what’s the problem with the T-word?

Thank you Elegran Sorry for posting twice, I hadn't realised I was posting at the beginning of the thread and thought my first post had disappeared. Kind regards.

Aldom Even those posters who are over-quick to challenge others on their opinions or "attitudes" would not attack you for talking about your feelings in a genuinely distressing situation. Don't be afraid to post on one of the topics or threads that are meant for such discussions. There are only a few with itchy trigger-fingers, and they usually have favourite targets in their sights (as playground bullies do) or well-chewed bones to pick with certain others.

Thank you Lara. I am fairly new to GN. Because of the nastiness of some of the people who post on here I only respond to the light hearted threads. I'm fragile as I am trying to come to terms with the tragic death of my son. To be attacked by one of the unpleasant posters would break me. This nastiness has prevented me from opening up and sharing, and ultimately benefitting from the experience of others. So many people who post on GN are kind, thoughtful and intelligent. It's such a pity some others cannot beg to differ without being confrontational. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, expressed thoughtfully. Social media can be so dangerous. I often ask myself if the person who posts aggressively would do the same face to face. Please be aware of the hurt and damage it is possible to cause by expressing your response harshly.

GagaJo

Haha, WWM. I just meant, that given we’re mostly elderly on this site, loneliness and possibly vulnerability can be an issue. Leading to reading too much into what was in my case (the accusation) a random occurance of posts.

I’m assuming it wasn’t me you accused of trolling/stalking, because if it was, I didn’t see your reply.

?no..

And yes I suspect you can overthink stuff.

Thank you Lara I am fairly new to GN and post from time to time, but only on light hearted threads. Whilst being aware of
many kind, thoughtful and intelligent posters on GN I am also very aware of those who specialise in nastiness. I'm fragile, because I'm trying to come to terms with the tragic death of my son. Because of the nasty posters I feel unable to open up and share my feelings.

In light of this thread I reported all four incidents. None of them in themselves were delectable, I concur, but sometimes GNHQ need to look beyond their ‘guidelines’ and actually try to understand what is really happening
Furret - your posts are always delectable

From Growstuff - " . . posts weren't nasty. They were deleted because they referenced one post. Now it looks as though those who had posts deleted were being nasty. " Surely it is not beyond the admin at Gransnet to either say that the post repeated a deleted one in a response to it, or to only delete the repeated part - replacing it with^"quote deleted"^ or some such words?

The other answer is for evryone to avoid repeating an offensive post and just refer to it "XXXX was out of line to post what they did!" and so on.

Interesting that GNHQ chose to delete a whole thread started by me because there were so many posts that needed deleting, but they haven't done the same to their own thread, choosing instead to delete individual posts. Is it one rule for them? And how does this foster good debate?

Haha, WWM. I just meant, that given we’re mostly elderly on this site, loneliness and possibly vulnerability can be an issue. Leading to reading too much into what was in my case (the accusation) a random occurance of posts.

I’m assuming it wasn’t me you accused of trolling/stalking, because if it was, I didn’t see your reply.

I agree Furret and perhaps that is why GNHQ have started this thread.

I joined GN more than 7 years ago and have seen an increase in unpleasant posts, stalking and bullying in the last year. It's not a question of whether or not someone is able to defend themselves.

The vast majority of GN's are here to debate, yes at times robustly; to ask for help and/or support and to give help and/or support when they can and for light hearted conversation. Why on earth should anyone ever have to defend themselves from personal criticism from people they've never even met?

I still receive pm's from members who left the forum some time ago because of the way they were initially responded too, but still need someone to 'talk' too.

New members appear briefly and are never seen again and some who've been posting for sometime just seem to disappear.

GagaJo

Someone accused me of doing that once. I honestly am not interested enough to do it to anyone in real life, let alone online.

More interesting that they’d read that into random patterns though. More a causes for concern about the mental health of posters, given the demographic of the site.

Bit naughty. I’m sure you are not suggesting that my mental health is dodgy.

Rather than accuse someone of mental health issues, it is much more productive to get into dialogue and understanding and sort the issue out.

Dont you you think?

Someone accused me of doing that once. I honestly am not interested enough to do it to anyone in real life, let alone online.

More interesting that they’d read that into random patterns though. More a causes for concern about the mental health of posters, given the demographic of the site.

Interesting WW

furret that used to happen to me, but I called that person out in big capital letters. It stopped??

I had someone follow me across two separate threads, jumping on innocuous remarks four times in half an hour in a sneaky underhand way. Clearly trying to goad me into an angry response. It’s not the first time this person has done this.

In light of this thread I reported all four incidents. None of them in themselves were delectable, I concur, but sometimes GNHQ need to look beyond their ‘guidelines’ and actually try to understand what is really happening.

Spot on MawB. I’ve had a post deleted...can’t remember what it was even !!

Now it looks as though those who had posts deleted were being nasty. We weren't. If they were still there, people could read for themselves
Thanks Growstuff.
I think GNHQ should be more clear about why posts are deleted. When you’ve taken the trouble to explain to someone why they’re under a misapprehension and have phrased your post carefully to avoid any risk of upsetting them, it’s rather annoying to have your post deleted along with the implication that it contained something spiteful or unpleasant.
<awaits deletion of post>

Evie64

Absolutely agree with you Lara. It's such a shame when a thread takes a nasty turn. People sometimes get a bit carried away don't they? There's no need for it, I don't understand why we can't agree to disagree really? No need for handbags at dawn eh?

I'm not allowed to discuss deleted posts, but I can discuss posts which weren't deleted. Th deleted posts weren't nasty. They were deleted because they referenced one post.

Now it looks as though those who had posts deleted were being nasty. We weren't. If they were still there, people could read for themselves.

Absolutely agree with you Lara. It's such a shame when a thread takes a nasty turn. People sometimes get a bit carried away don't they? There's no need for it, I don't understand why we can't agree to disagree really? No need for handbags at dawn eh?

This has gone beyond a joke GNHQ
We take your point about accusations of bullying or trolling (but why is that a word that may not be uttered, like Voldemort?) but frankly there are now so many deleted posts , the thread makes no sense whatsoever.
You have to let people discuss/argue, if necessary/ complain/ defend themselves.
By all means operate zero tolerance of racist or any other sort of attacks, inflammatory language, slander or libel, but right now it is time to stop letting the Office kitten play on the keyboard and especially on the delete button
That is not moderating, that is nannying.

Thank you Lara I certainly have begun a less frequent poster . I used to be a regular but when I raised the issue a couple of weeks ago I was immediately jumped on. We live in difficult times and Grasnet can be such a positive thing its a shame to spoil it.