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How to deal with “woke” daughter

(106 Posts)
Oofy Wed 07-Jul-21 00:26:52

We had been very much looking forward to a visit from our 29 year-old daughter, our only child, who we hadn’t seen since last August because of COVID. She lives in London, has just bought a flat with her partner, and has a good job, albeit an awfully long commute, and we live 5 hours drive away. She went to a school friend’s (postponed) wedding locally, and stayed down for the week, which was lovely. BUT we, DH and me, were quite taken aback about how chippy she has become, giving us very short shrift if we come up with a comment which she perceives as not “woke” or pc, to the extent we were almost afraid to open our mouths for fear of getting our heads bitten off, and we felt we had to be careful what we said. We have always had a rather jokey way of talking in the family, but now she seems very ready to take offence. Any remark about her partner or his family, whom we have met and like, seems to be taken the wrong way. And when we said, as we were waving her goodbye, that she looked as though she had had a good rest, (which we thought she had), she jumped down our throats, saying she wasn’t stressed. Even DH noticed it, and he is the most easy-going of men. We are rather upset, not least as they have had a lot of help from us over their flat purchase, and can’t really understand it. Have any other Gransnetters had similar experiences?

Floriel Sun 08-May-22 13:46:24

I don't think it helps that Millennials are frequently told how easy we Boomers had it and how tough their lives are in comparison. In the case of house prices they're right and I completely sympathise, but they forget that working women had it quite tough in the 70s, with few rights, that taxes and interest rates were very high and that so many things they are able to do cheaply, like travel and eating out, were beyond our reach. When we help them financially it's after years of hard work and saving., but I think they see us as a spoilt generation and they turn this general resentment into a criticism of our views as well. Oofy I sympathise - home should be a safe place to relax and be yourself, not watch everything you say.

ShropshireMiss Sun 08-May-22 17:55:13

To be honest the comment about there not being a white comedy award would probably come across as slightly racist (or at least ignorant or reactionary) to a lot of younger people.

ShropshireMiss Sun 08-May-22 17:56:22

Sorry, I meant poetry award not comedy award.

Lucca Sun 08-May-22 18:14:22

Franbern

Is being 'woke' meaning being someone who cares about all other people, does not have facist, sexist, etc attitudes - and is a decent person?

I am (I hope) woke!!! Proud when someone describes me as that.

I am also extremely proud that all my AC and my G.children would also come under this description.

So much prefer being woke, than totally uncaring, like so many of our governement ministers.

Is wearing a mask ‘woke”?

torge Sun 08-May-22 18:38:10

You weren't wrong. She was over reacting before you were even finished talking to find out what you had to say. She could be described as judgemental.

PC, woke or whatever it may be called has done more damage to everything and one that could be imagined.

If people can't hold a conversation, listen to someone else's opinion what is the world coming to.

You don't need to to agree with someones opinion, but have the decency to listen.

In my humble opinion, the Woke/PC men and women are the most intolerant people around. I hope Karma will visit them and let them see and experience the real world.