Honestly
This is very daft
A autistic people are wonderful
B a SEND teacher making a comment is just a person who typically observes children for signs of autism, observing a child and making a comment on it
Occasionally people with experience have asked me if my child is autistic after meeting her and I've just said yes, she is. She is and if it didn't show sometimes she wouldn't need a diagnosis in the first place
C gransnet is not a big deal, I've been to bigger coffee mornings, as long as we aren't being actually offensive we should be able to make an observation without waving the pitchforks and building a wickerman