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New job is really grinding me down

(32 Posts)
Spiritof67 Tue 18-May-21 15:57:25

Hello Folks :-
I posted previously about having lost my job recently (20 years working for a local government authority within the highways dept) I had a nice three week break which felt very cathartic. A friend of mine was in need of staff, working in the estates maintenance team of the local university and asked if I could help him out. I obliged (as a favour). The hours are longer, the work is monotonous and work colleagues (not to put too much a finer point on it !) are xenophobic, misogynistic and pretty unwelcoming !
The money for this job is good...but I genuinely do not relish getting up and going into this job anymore !
I’m financially comfortable (not minted and able to retire, but enough to keep the Wolf away from the door for mortgage, no debts.
I’m torn between leaving and feeling “happier”, but having the fear factor of not being able to find another job at 55...or just sticking with it and it grinding me down.
I’m very conscious of “life’s too short”....but I’m in a quandary.
I’m physically fit and strong and relish another outdoor job (this job is inside and I feel caged)
Any pearls of wisdom from the collective ? Looking forward to your responses and ideas ?

cornishpatsy Tue 18-May-21 16:02:11

I think you know you want to leave. Toss a coin and see if you are happy or disappointed with the result.

As we get older life is too short to do things you do not want or need to do.

Best wishes for whatever you decide.

Hithere Tue 18-May-21 16:13:13

I would look for another job and give your notice

Calendargirl Tue 18-May-21 16:14:25

Look for another job more suitable, then hand your notice in. Wouldn’t leave until something else in place.

Less money maybe but greater job satisfaction.

Callistemon Tue 18-May-21 16:21:54

Look for another job more suitable, then hand your notice in. Wouldn’t leave until something else in place.

I agree with Calendargirl

It's easier to get another job when you're in a job and if they ask why you are leaving so soon, just say that you were working there as a favour to help out a friend; it's not permanent.

Callistemon Tue 18-May-21 16:22:33

And Hithere

I think we all agree so far!

EllanVannin Tue 18-May-21 16:23:05

Oh, I couldn't be doing. If I didn't like it I wouldn't be there, simple as that.

AGAA4 Tue 18-May-21 16:33:41

As many people spend a lot of their time at work it seems wrong to me to be unhappy there.

MrsTY Tue 22-Jun-21 09:58:49

I just told my new employer I want to quit today. I left my old ft job in march because I hated it, I was wfh but I had nothing to do a lot of the time and no support from above. I knew my mum was ill, I have a grandchild on the way and another daughter is getting married next month. Very quickly my mum died so it was full time making arrangements and clearing her house. Out of the blue I was offered a dream job from having my CV online. I have stuck it a week and packed it in, starting a new job wfh is difficult and again I have not been given any actual work to do yet. I am embarrassed but that will pass and I know I'd regret it more if I stuck it out. I wonder if I'm like a lot of women who were working mothers (of 3 in my case) who don't want to be working grannies if they can financially afford it?

Peasblossom Tue 22-Jun-21 10:06:27

Looking back the times I regret are the times I “stuck it out” in situations that made me unhappy. Now I think, whoever didn’t I just leave.

Two of those were helping out a friend. I’m not sure that ever works. And your colleagues probably don’t want a friend of the boss on the team?

Peasblossom Tue 22-Jun-21 10:07:31

why ever not whoever

Why would it autocorrect that?

ElderlyPerson Tue 22-Jun-21 10:35:21

Dear Peasblossom Potential employers don't take kindly to someone who just left a previous employment - maybe you would do it to them - maybe the person resigned just before they would have been sacked for something serious.

Whatever the reason, even redundancy (did they clear out the dead wood?), there is suspicion - easiest not to take the risk, plenty of other candidates.

Someone told me that 90% of getting a job is already having a job. The candidate is willing to give up (what looks like) a good job for advancement, for more money. The employers understand that. If you have just walked out on a job from AN EMPLOYER then that raises red flags as to why, best not to take the risk. If something goes wrong, well the person who made the appointment could be seen to have been on awareness of potential problems and might be held responsible for it.

So sticking it out probably worked out.

Life is not like a physics experiment. You can't go back and try the same experiment again with different choices. You get one go. If you had walked out, you might never have been able to get another job.

greenlady102 Tue 22-Jun-21 10:42:50

I am in the "life's too short" school, especially if its affecting your mental and emotional health and doubly especially if the job you hate is so diametrically opposed to the job you'd like. I won't say oh just leave, only you can make that decision, but I'd definitely be working through your options to see how reasonable "just leave" would be. I think so far as the short length of employment thing, its quite a reasonable answer to say that you went into it to oblige a friend and its not what you were seeking or would choose as its so unlike what you are comfortable with. Are your previous lengths of employment longer and more stable?

Perdido Tue 22-Jun-21 10:56:37

I agree with the previous post from Elderly Person. It's easier to get another job if you already have one.

I thought estate maintainence would include looking after the campus grounds but you say your work is indoors.

What is it that you would like to do outside and it there an opportunity to start your own business?

Recently, I joined the local community website NextDoor. It's a constant stream of posts from people looking for someone to help them maintain their homes whether it's gardening, hard landscaping, fencing work, driveway maintenance or replacement, external painting etc etc.

You could set your own hours, chose your customers and not have unpleasant colleagues to deal with every day.

Caleo Tue 22-Jun-21 11:03:08

You already know you want an outdoor job. If you know that is your priority for employment you are well on your way to being able to find what you really want.

You are much closer to your decision than someone who does not know what they want to do.

jaylucy Tue 22-Jun-21 11:03:40

If you want to be employed, look for another job - believe me , it is harder when you are over 50 but not impossible or perhaps start up your own business doing something that you enjoy!

PinkCakes Tue 22-Jun-21 14:41:53

I'd say leave - it's horrible having to go to a job you don't enjoy. At your age, you're still in with a very good chance of getting something else. I'm 62 and having to look for work. I've only got 4 years to retirement but I'm finding that my job applications/interviews aren't getting me far, and I suspect it's to do with my age.

welbeck Tue 22-Jun-21 16:25:01

could you reduce your hours.
while trying to look for something more suitable.
very difficult to get a job over 50, if unemployed, esp if left of own accord, almost impossible.
why not challenge other workers' offensive attitudes.
might do them some good. and you.

NotTooOld Tue 22-Jun-21 16:34:42

I'm tempted to say stay on until you find another job as, you never know, the situation may improve and you find the job is not as bad as you first thought. On the other hand Perdido has a good point - perhaps you could start up on your own.

biglouis Tue 26-Oct-21 00:56:26

My first full time job (age 16) was in the civil service sitting in an office adding up figures all day. I hated it and wanted a job with more variety. One day I got chatting to the librarian in my local library and she told me that as well as being a library assistant you could take professional examinations and progress.

I felt very nervous about going to the branch manager and explaining to her that I was thinking of resigning. I had to ask her if she would be willing to be a referee. However she was very supportive when I told her my reasons. She gave me some useful advice about what to say when I went for my library interview, which was never to say anything bad about your current employer. However to emphasize the plus points of the job you were applying for, and how you feel you could use your skills more fully and make a contribution.

She also reminded me that sometimes people do find themselves in a job they are not suited for when they first begin their career. The same could also be said when its many years since you worked outside the home.

MaeReeves Tue 22-Mar-22 10:03:39

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Germanshepherdsmum Tue 22-Mar-22 10:14:20


JaneJudge Tue 22-Mar-22 10:21:55

someone is busy this morning

ayse Tue 22-Mar-22 17:00:48

I agree that it’s much better to search for a new job and continue in the job you have until that time. As others have said it’s easier to get another job if you are in work. I worked at the job centre years ag but it was always said if you were unemployed after 13 weeks it would be much harder to find work.

This doesn’t stop you from exploring the idea of self employment. Have a look at all the online sites that offer tradespeople. You can get an idea of the going rate for the job and see how much competition is out there. Research is key to running a successful business. Have been both employed and self employed the difference is enormous. There was so much more stress involved in running a business rather than working for someone else. See if your bank has a small business adviser, if you are keen. They may be able to give you some pointers.

Anyway, all the best whatever you decide.

Kim19 Tue 22-Mar-22 18:13:40

Another vote for Calendargirl. I wouldn't leave without another job to have a stab at particularly as I hear there are many jobs on the market at the moment.