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AIBU

Why am I embarrassed?

(89 Posts)
Marieeliz Sat 01-Sep-18 10:11:17

Fairly new neighbour late 50's has, over the past couple of months, had a man staying over the weekend. The noise of their sexual activity during the night is making me feel uncomfortable.

Here we are and it is the weekend again, they go to the pub and return late, just as I am trying to go to sleep. I have lived in this house for many years, many tenants some having children whilst living there, but I never heard the noise I have heard with the last two tenants. Are people less inhibited these days.

It is a terraced house and all the bedrooms back onto one another so it is not is if I can move rooms. Cannot say anything jokingly as did not get on with her from her moving in a year ago.

Met up with an ex colleague last week and she is having a similar problem next door to her.

varian Sat 01-Sep-18 20:50:32

I think you are embarrassed because our generation did not grow up with online pornography or graphic sex on tv.

Unless you think you could embarrass the neighbours into toning it down the earplugs are probably the best answer.

Marieeliz Sat 01-Sep-18 21:12:58

Thanks everyone for your funny and helpful suggestions. I am tempted to buy the Google mini thingy. Just looking for excuses to get one. As my Radio alarm is old and I cannot lower or higher the volume easily.

Delighted tonight, just come home and neither car is here usually his car is left outside they drive to the pub and then get a taxi home. Picking car up following day.

Marieeliz Sat 01-Sep-18 21:18:34

Midgey fitted wardrobes are on these walls. That is why I banged the doors. I am scared they will fall off.

The banging of the bed on wooden flooring also adds to the problem noise as well as the vocal noises. Again, don't people think about the noise. I would have thought carpets better upstairs.

muffinthemoo Sat 01-Sep-18 21:24:37

You have her address and presumably her name.

Time to sign her up for some very interesting catalogues. Lots of them about.

wink

MissAdventure Sat 01-Sep-18 21:46:33

Maybe you could let off a few fireworks towards the end..

BlueBelle Sat 01-Sep-18 22:42:06

Good idea MissAdventure like when Ryanair land early they have a recorded trumpet

MissAdventure Sat 01-Sep-18 22:48:23

grin

Apricity Sun 02-Sep-18 06:16:05

Suggest playing the finale of the 1812 Overture at the crucial moment. There are some terrific versions on YouTube, one with enhanced cannons for extra 'awesomeness'. Then everyone can share the moment. ?????

Apricity Sun 02-Sep-18 06:20:08

www.youtube.com/watch?v=md9ImEkV2_c

Finally worked out how to paste links. This is the link for the YouTube clip of the 1812 Overture finale with awesome cannons.

absent Sun 02-Sep-18 06:30:10

I sometimes wonder if all the screaming and screeching is a result of Hollywood movies that almost invariably include a shrieking woman in sex scenes, perhaps to make it clear that she is having a good time. Perhaps it is a way for some women to indicate that they are having a great experience when, in fact, they aren't. Some men might well feel that if there was no screaming and shouting, either they had "failed" or "she" was frigid – not a good view for the future of a relationship. How could any of us forget Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally? What a clever dig at Hollywood!

Btw Nobody expects the man to scream and shriek, although some have been known to grunt and groan.

Purplepoppies Sun 02-Sep-18 07:22:32

I know you say you don't get along but as this is a regular occurrence and is disturbing your right to quiet and peaceful living, can you put a note through her door? Maybe she's unaware (in her imbibed state) that the whole neighbourhood can hear her?? It doesn't have to be nasty, just a 'would you mind keeping it down ' type of thing?
If you have fitted wardrobes and you can still hear them they must be pretty loud ?.
Good luck ?

sluttygran Sun 02-Sep-18 07:30:54

I love the idea of playing ‘Je t’aime’ or the 1812 Overture at volume!
There’s also the William Tell overture - a fine piece of music which has an extremely intrusive rhythm - it’s best remembered as the theme music for the Lone Ranger.
It is quite impossible to have sex to this tune (don’t ask me how I know, it was many years ago)
grin

NfkDumpling Sun 02-Sep-18 07:32:00

Can you find a recording of a baby crying? (Or something else thats likely to dampen their ardour?) If she then complains to you just apologise and say you had a friend’s baby to stay while they were away - and add that these walls are so thin you can hear a pin drop.

NfkDumpling Sun 02-Sep-18 07:33:42

(I learned to touch type to the William Tell Overture)

sluttygran Sun 02-Sep-18 07:41:30

My goodness Nfk Dumpling, you must be a very speedy typist!
I like the idea of the crying baby. Not much they could complain about, as it’s a natural, human noise to drown out their own!

Theoddbird Sun 02-Sep-18 07:49:54

Bathsheba...brilliant idea

Patticake123 Sun 02-Sep-18 08:06:31

White noise machines are very effective. My grandchildren live in the middle of an extremely noisy city and while the machine is turned on the noise is definitely less noticeable. One problem with noise is that as soon as you’ve got it into your head, it’s difficult not to hear it.

rizlett Sun 02-Sep-18 08:08:36

Would it be different I wonder if your neighbour was in her 20's I wonder?

How long is the actual noise going on for? Would it be so bothersome if the cause was something different or if it happened at a different time? Perhaps your dislike of your neighbour is contributing to make you feel more frustrated than you need to be?

Personally I'd be a bit jealous of someone having great sex right next door to me on account of my low chances of getting some! That'd probably influence my irritation levels too.

This could be an opportunity to practice paying much less attention to something that really is outside your control - there's sure to be many such occasions in future. Maybe it's even preferable to having a group of children shouting and screaming on their trampoline all day or someone who's dog barks consistently.

rizlett Sun 02-Sep-18 08:09:17

A bit too much wondering in my last post I fear! grin

Carolb25 Sun 02-Sep-18 08:24:08

If they've come back from the pub they might be more oblivious to the noise they're making. I think the best idea is to wait until they stop (and get their breath) then make some very loud cheering noises. At least then they'll know you know and embarrassment might kick in and they do it downstairs. I've had disturbing noise from my neighbours for 20 years but because of the kids so a bit different.

floorflock Sun 02-Sep-18 08:33:21

I would record it and pop a copy of it through the letter box for them to play back. It would make the point without either neighbour admitting who did the recording.

SunnySusie Sun 02-Sep-18 08:38:26

I have a white noise machine for noisy neighbours, although in their case its throwing bottles in the recycling bin next to my bedroom window, one by one, half the night. Its brilliant and has almost solved the problem. I top it up occasionally with ear plugs on really bad nights. However it wouldnt necessarily work for the noise of the bed galloping across the floor, because that is vibration through the fabric of the houses, rather than air born noise. I use the white noise machine whenever I travel too and its a familiar sound when you are in a strange bed to lull you off to sleep.

FlorenceFlower Sun 02-Sep-18 08:45:03

How upsetting and annoying for you, lack of sleep and neighbour noise problems (whatever the cause) are a real problem for many, many people.

Lots a good ideas here, I like the white noise and playing music best. Wish I’d thought about these when I had similar problems with a neighbour when I lived in a flat years ago. I just struggled on in muffled embarrassment until the noisy couple moved on! ? ?

notgoneyet Sun 02-Sep-18 09:13:43

Haha I love Bathsheba's suggestion of Je t'Aime, along with all the other ones of applauding and cheering at the appropriate time lol

ReadyMeals Sun 02-Sep-18 09:40:05

When you know they're out, drill through the wall and plant a small camera. You can make a fortune selling the videos and then you will have enough money to move out.