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What is a 'typical ' boy?

(235 Posts)
oldgoose Thu 18-Aug-16 17:48:59

To my mind a typical boy is quite physical, on the go a lot, likes the odd playfight, enjoys football, running around and maybe riding his bike. My friends grandsons burst into the room, jump all over her and then start to fight each other.
My Grandson is 10 and he is very quiet. He is gentle and kind and has 3 friends who are slightly 'nerdy' but also enjoy football and are loud when they want to be. My Grandson likes computers, reading, and collects stationery, he has more than they have in WH Smith. Close friends and family are all beginning to say that he is gay. That dosn't matter a jot, but should we put labels on children quite so early? My Grand-daughters on the other hand are both tomboys, love to play football, climb and pretend to be super -heroes, but no-one has said that they might be gay. I feel sorry for my Grandson because people expect him to be different and don't seem to understand that he needs to be himself. Has anyone else had this with their own children or grandchildren?

optimist Fri 19-Aug-16 08:32:44

No such thing as a typical boy. Research shows that both genders have identical brains at birth. Their characteristics develop because of the way they are brought up and their influences. So let all children be who they are and do not stereotype the!

optimist Fri 19-Aug-16 08:32:44

No such thing as a typical boy. Research shows that both genders have identical brains at birth. Their characteristics develop because of the way they are brought up and their influences. So let all children be who they are and do not stereotype the!

LullyDully Fri 19-Aug-16 08:36:54

My brother was just like that as a boy. He never played rough games and wasn't a rushing around physical boy. Preferred his cars, trains and maps. Hated football and any school sport.He preferred to explore places alone. He was bright but bullied at school.

I am 3 years younger. He started socialising properly when I did at about 16, I took him along. He soon caught up and was chased by loads of girls.

He developed a love of cycling and walking and used to go on lone mountain biking holidays. He is very good looking, still is at 70. He is happily married with two sons and a lovely granddaughter.

He is a chartered accountant and has run his own business to suit himself for years.

Not everyone fits into a stereotype oldgoose. Don't judge his sexuality because he doesn't stick to that stereotype. He will sort that out when he is ready.

Nain9bach Fri 19-Aug-16 08:46:36

The people who pass comment obviously do it in your earshot. Please remind them that there are 6 foot 18 stone rugby players who are gay. I would like you to pass comment to them - how brave would they be to pass comment so leave the child alone. They are being bullies and they will be making these comments in front of your grandson's peers How do you think 10 years olds become so bigoted? Not on their own I can tell you. Small minded twerps.

tiffaney Fri 19-Aug-16 08:48:14

He hasn't hit puberty yet so it could be all change again. My grandson is 11 and from quite an early age he was a bit obsessive with his collections and knowledge of specific interests. I would never have suspected thinking only that he is a very special clever boy but his teachers thought he might be on the Aspergers spectrum. I'm not saying this is so of your grandson but it did explain a lot to me when reading up on it. Nevertheless, I'm sure he is a lovely boy and we cannot change their nature. Children are all individuals and all we can do is love and support them. And when they hit puberty it's 'all change' again!

harrysgran Fri 19-Aug-16 08:53:44

It's sad to stereotype children like this I only hope your DG doesn't hear this as it could be upsetting for him what does it matter to others and what is a typical boy if he is kind gentle that's wonderful my own DG is often described by others as geeky he is also sensitive to others but I have also witnessed how he can still stand up to other children and hold his own which in today's society is vital .

Corncob Fri 19-Aug-16 08:58:00

My two sons were very different. The eldest was very quiet,He enjoyed playing with lego was interested in making things and even liked knitting.The younger one was a typical boy always up to mischief and kicking balls around. They both turned out fine The eldest is married with two lovely daughters is an electrician and turn his hand to most DIY jobs. The younger one joined the forces and has done very well with his career. He has a baby son now with his partner and has a very kind heart. None of us know how our children will turn out,all we can do is love and support them.

Sunny75 Fri 19-Aug-16 08:58:21

All I can say is he sounds a lovely lad. The girls love the quiet ones as well. Why should every boy like football! Since the olympics we are reminded that there are other great sports out here he may discover one of those. . Football is overrated and overpaid I better not start a rant on that topic.?

PPP Fri 19-Aug-16 08:58:24

My son was not a 'typical' boy. He didn't like sport at school and was happy being at home with his Lego, his books and his computer. He didn't get bullied because he was personable and very tall so the bullies thought twice about having a go.

Fortunately, in his year at secondary school there were quite a few boys who excelled at science and he didn't feel like a fish out of water.

He went to Cambridge, now is a high flying computer scientist in America and has a lovely wife.

Just cherish these lovely, gentle boys and give them the confidence to be themselves.

loopylou Fri 19-Aug-16 09:06:55

This sort of utter hogwash makes me furious, poor child.i'd be hopping mad if anyone said anything like that in my hearing.
My BIL would ridicule his DS to such a degree that we would try to have him to stay as often as possible, calling him gay, a poofter etc. He's a lovely man, gentle and kind.

Lilyflower Fri 19-Aug-16 09:13:16

Your grandson sounds delightful and, if it is any consolation, I can tell you as a teacher of 34 years' experience, he sounds typical of boys who inhabited the top English sets throughout my teaching career.

No one laughed at the top set boys who went off to university, got good degrees, jobs and salaries and then had the pick of partners. The gender of the partners doesn't really matter, does it?

Mrsdof Fri 19-Aug-16 09:26:26

What is all this against football? I'm sure there are plenty of gay men and women who love football and plenty who do not. I was a typical tomboy as a child and my DH was and still is the most loving and gentle man. We met through a love of Spurs. He does all the cooking and does most things around the house, we have 3 DS's and we all LOVE football. People don't complain about people who like Tennis or Cricket do they? My nephew is gay and he and his husband are just two of the nicest people you can meet. But he was a 'typical' boy when he was a child. But again what is 'typical'. All children should be allowed to be who they are and to be encouraged whichever way they go, as long as they grow up happy what does it matter?

Judthepud2 Fri 19-Aug-16 09:40:29

I so agree with all of the above posts. Your DGS sounds like a lovely child. The family should be grateful he is not hyperactive, bolshie and difficult to control. So...he doesn't like sports. I don't like baking! Does that make me any less a woman? Everyone has their own interests and talents. To put a child into a box before he has developed his personality is unfair. You are right that he needs encouragement to be himself, and unconditional love.

And using the term 'gay' in a negative and disrespectful sense is not on either! angry

BTW my husband is quiet and not at all sporty, but clever in his own field (computer engineering). He is a genuinely kind person, and a loving father of 4 and grandfather of 6. Our whole family love and respect him for who he is.

Stansgran Fri 19-Aug-16 09:44:51

Loopylou that is so horrible and I admire the young man who locked the golf clubs in the cupboard. I have a DGS who loves football and tennis but is pushed by his father into triathlons above his age group. I have another DGS who really only wants to play with computers and both parents want him to conform to the stereotype of boyhood. What is it with these parents and families? I would like to spend more time with each child separately but they always arrive en masse.

angie95 Fri 19-Aug-16 09:45:14

There is no such thing as a typical boy or girl, and to label children is cruel, Your grandson, is happy and interested in other things, My son who is ow 21, has never been "into" football, proffering to draw, and read, as a child, yea he played with action figures, but was never a rough and tumble boy, He now works, plays the drums , bass guitar and keyboards, has a lovely girlfriend and is happy, still quiet, still draws and reads, so please ignore what other people say, its a load of old tosh Oldgoose, he is happy, and has you i his corner, he is perfect! xx

Sam65 Fri 19-Aug-16 09:49:44

Your grandson sounds great and being kind and gentle makes a pleasant change to all the boys who think they can be loud, noisy and badly behaved. If not likng football makes people think he is gay then fine. But as others say yhat label is bandied about too much and at such a young age it is ridiculous.I am sure he will find a sport he likes one day. The trouble is this often limited in school but there are plenty to choose from. Maybe he prefers chess or other things like that. But does it really matter, he is himself and as long as he is happy let him be. If your granddaughters are his sisters and they tomboys he might just want to be away from them and find peace!

hulahoop Fri 19-Aug-16 10:13:46

My oh hated football in fact any team sport he preferred walking and trains had friends with same interests . Don't know why people put children in boxes they are individuals he sounds a caring lad

Lupin Fri 19-Aug-16 10:15:55

Love Regalo's reply. A 10 year old boy who has the strength of character to be himself no matter what IS to be celebrated. May he find much love in his life.

meandashy Fri 19-Aug-16 10:32:13

Celebrate all children not matter if they don't conform to the 'norm' whatever that is!! People are too quick to judge & label. He sounds delightful ?

DianneAngel Fri 19-Aug-16 10:49:18

Sounds like the lad is an introvert and good for him. My youngest son is the same. He is now 25yrs and still doesn't have a girlfriend but assures me that he is not gay. (Not that I would mind if he was) . He says that wife and children are on his agenda but that he wants to concentrate on his career first. He was, also, never sporty but took up horse riding a few years ago and goes to the gym.

So my advice would be to leave the lad alone. Bottles need labels children don't. hugs

Lewlew Fri 19-Aug-16 11:02:50

He sounds lovely. Some kids are quiet and have different interests, no matter their gender.

So he's not macho... BFD. He might grow up to be one of those scientists/engineers on Big Bang Theory. Lots of money, and pulling all the best girls (just kidding!). grin

I find those two brothers play-fighting a bit odd as a reflex behaviour when visiting others. Hyperactive? Undisciplined? Or maybe they are just boisterous and copy behaviour they encounter at home or school, and it's nothing more than that.

But....there is a weird creepiness to it as I was reminded of those women in Plymouth who encouraged their toddler siblings to fight when they didn't want to and got found out.

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/devon/6574907.stm

M0nica Fri 19-Aug-16 11:03:28

Jalima Why thankfully, totally uninterested in football? Because
all our family are physical active in many ways, but just not into football.

oznan Fri 19-Aug-16 11:15:26

He sounds like my oldest grandson who is just about to turn 18-one of the loveliest people you could wish to meet.He happily describes himself as a nerd,has always been a voracious reader,loves computer games and baking and is quiet and thoughtful.He is also very intelligent and works hard at his studies.People have said he must be gay since he was about your grandsons age.He has a wide circle of friends,male and female,some older than him.He is strongly anti-smoking and hates the taste of alcohol.I have always supported him in knowing his own mind and sticking to his own principles,as have his parents.
It is sad that others feel the need to pigeon-hole children at a young age to conform with their own ideas of where they will "fit" into adult society.My grandson has been sensitive about being a teenager as perceived by the majority,e.g.,he has always hated wearing "hoodies" in case he was seen as a thug.Almost as though he had to apologise for being "a teenager" rather being seen as the lovely young person he is.
He is now very happy in his own skin and takes any judgement doled out to him with good humour.
Please be happy and proud to have such a wonderful grandson!

JackyB Fri 19-Aug-16 11:45:52

Yes - what happened to the nerds? My eldest son had loads of friends who had no interest in football or playing rough or fighting, but spent all of their time on their computers and Nintendos. On holiday, they would curl up with books rather than splash in the waves.

It was perfectly acceptable and they are now all well-off managers in the IT world and have lovely wives and children. (And are keen cyclists, climbers, or similar) I'm sure we didn't complain about them not playing football at the time.

Juggernaut Fri 19-Aug-16 11:50:53

oldgoose
Your lovely grandson is 'marching to the beat of his own drum'!
Anyone can act like a sheep and follow the crowd, I'd rather be different!