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New dog

(87 Posts)
Newnannie Sun 28-Jan-18 10:59:50

Hi all, this is a first time post so please be gentle! First off I’m not a dog owner, I have 3 cats. My daughter is expecting her first baby at the end of April, she already had a 3 year old Alaskan malamute who is gorgeous and she loves him a lot. Thing is she now wants to adopt another malamute ( big dogs, 48 kilo) to keep him company. The dog she is looking to adopt belongs at the moment to a friend of hers who's wife is expecting their second baby and they don’t have the time for their second dog which is the one my daughter wants to adopt. I feel that it’s the wrong time to adopt a new dog however well the two dogs get on. I think I’ll be looking after baby at least one day a week in the future and don’t think I could cope with baby and 2 big dogs but that’s not the point, I’m worried that she won’t be able to either and poor dog will be looking for a new home again!! This is a first baby, first grandchild and her husband doesn’t want a second dog either. I have a very close relationship with my daughter, but I’m just so worried!! Any thoughts anyone?

NanaPlenty Tue 30-Jan-18 17:17:35

Oh gosh, I might be in line to show her all these comments. Many years ago when I had my babies I had two believed cats (fairly self sufficient unlike dogs) but having a new baby and trying to cope with cat hair nearly pushed me over the edge! It really does need careful thinking about, best to wait until baby has arrived and a routine is established before considering anything else, not fair on mum, dogs, baby or you!

Patsy70 Tue 30-Jan-18 20:13:54

What a dilemma for you. There is a lot of good advice here. Going ahead with having a second dog is both irresponsible and selfish, given the circumstances, and if you and her husband are against it, taking into account that you would both be involved in the care of the baby and the dogs, then perhaps a friend, who is more impartial, could have a word with her and make her see sense. Good luck!

Nanannotgrandma Wed 31-Jan-18 18:03:48

My daughter got a puppy as our grandson was born. We ended up looking after both, plus our dog three days a week and it was a nightmare. In retrospect I should have insisted someone else cared for the puppy. It made it very hard work when we should have been enjoying caring for our grandson.

Bathsheba Fri 02-Feb-18 21:33:47

How did the chat with your SIL go, Newnannie? Has there been any progress yet in dissuading your DD from taking on this second dog?

Newnannie Sun 04-Feb-18 21:22:05

Hi, I will update you, but I’ve not had the chance to speak to my son in law yet. She’s not mentioned the new dog to me again, but I think that’s because she knows I don’t approve!!

rosamund132 Sun 04-Feb-18 21:44:59

I share the care of my daughter's two children(2 and 5 ) and her dog. I have a dog of my own as well. Walking two dogs, a buggy, a toddler, or an awkward foot dragging year old, meeting another dog that for unknown reasons one of the dogs with me takes a dislike to-- cue buggy nearly overturned... trust me, however much we all love dogs, there are situations which will crop up and be difficult to deal with and potentially dangerous. I go along with those advising your daughter to decide against having another dog for about 10 years at least!! All the best to everyone involved.

Newnannie Sat 21-Jul-18 09:17:11

Hi, just in case anyone wondered .... my daughters beautiful baby boy was born in April, yes, it’s a lot harder than she thought and yes, the malamute she wanted to adopt to keep hers company has found a new home in Cornwall!! A long way from us. All’s well that ends well as they say!! It’s something we don’t mention though!!smile

MissAdventure Sat 21-Jul-18 09:19:45

smile
Very good news, and the right outcome.

FlexibleFriend Sat 21-Jul-18 16:03:44

I've always had dogs, had dogs before kids but I would say this isn't the best time to get a second dog of any breed. When my kids were born my dogs were already well trained and knew all the ground rules so the only adjustment needed was to the new little one in their lives and they adapted really well as they had been brought up to accept whatever and whoever I introduced. That's not the case where this new dog is concerned. It's not fair on the new dog, they'll need time and space to settle into their new life and it's not fair on her husband or you if you're not fully on board. We've all read the horror stories of infants being injured or worse by the family dog and they are nearly always a rehomed dog, so not trying to scare anyone but do you want to take that chance because I wouldn't. For all the faith I have in myself and my ability to control my dogs that's a chance I simply wouldn't be willing to take. There will plenty of time in the future for her to take on another dog but now is not the time. She's going to be tired after the baby arrives and will need her wits about her at all times with two dogs in the house. Of course she can take precautions such as dog gates etc but I don't think that's enough and you need to convince her the baby has to come first in this situation and if her friend doesn't have the time for two dogs what makes your daughter think that she will, her friends been through it before and knows exactly what to expect which is why the dog is rather unfairly up for rehoming.

FlexibleFriend Sat 21-Jul-18 16:05:11

Brilliant news I was obviously a bit late but she made the right decision anyway. Good for her and the dog.

NanaandGrampy Sat 21-Jul-18 16:55:51

Best decision . Enjoy your new grandchild !