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Why today?

(98 Posts)
Beckett Sun 21-Apr-19 16:27:08

I have been a widow for many years, no family, I thought I had gotten used to eating alone. Holidays are difficult but I have always been OK. Today as I was serving up my Easter lunch, I started to cry - have been crying all afternoon.

BradfordLass72 Mon 22-Apr-19 00:37:19

Oh dear, I'm sorry you were upset. It's easy for me to suggest things Beckett and probably not so easy for you to do.

But here goes:
Plan for the future so lunches at holidays times are not so solitary. Have a friend round for the day. They may be just as lonely as you.

In fact there are many agencies who may be able to steer you towards people who would deeply value company at this time.

If you are a member of clubs, there will probably be other widows who would be glad to share a meal. Or go out somewhere together.

Does all this sound trite? I have to confess I am never lonely (I'm a widow) so these idea may be useless.

But I AM thinking of you and hoping you feel much better by the time you read this. flowers

Specs Mon 22-Apr-19 01:27:40

??☕️?

Ginny42 Mon 22-Apr-19 02:02:18

More good wishes and a virtual hug or two. Knowing that others understand can sometimes make it easier to cope, I hope it's worked for you. I've learned that when sadness strikes if I just hang on I will pull out of it. Hope you're feeling much better. flowers

stella1949 Mon 22-Apr-19 02:21:44

Sending my thoughts and best wishes beckett. I know it's always hardest when everyone else seems to be busy and happy. It will be better tomorrow I hope .

PageTurner Mon 22-Apr-19 04:52:28

So sorry you are feeling sad today. I hope tomorrow will bring happiness. Do you have a pet? If not, Perhaps you could adopt a homeless cat or dog to keep you company. Or a parakeet or canary. Just a thought.
Best wishes and?? to you.

Willow500 Mon 22-Apr-19 06:41:14

flowers

Harris27 Mon 22-Apr-19 09:07:54

So sorry to hear how you felt. Sending you virtual hugs hope you feel a bit better today xx

lovebeigecardigans1955 Mon 22-Apr-19 09:11:05

I'm so sorry Beckett - sometimes sadness juts hits you without warning, doesn't it? A change in routine like a Bank Holiday can be upsetting as it feels like everyone else is having a good time, enjoying each other's company and you're all alone.
We widows certainly don't begrudge other people's happiness but can feel sad and lonely sometimes. From low spirits there is only one way to go and that's up. Hope you feel better soon.

Fernbergien Mon 22-Apr-19 09:12:44

Best wishes Beckett.

TerriBull Mon 22-Apr-19 09:13:44

Moved by your post Beckett. I hope the responses here have gone a little way to alleviating those feelings flowers

DaisyL Mon 22-Apr-19 09:14:52

Do you have a pet - a cat or a dog? After my husband died I don't think I could have borne it without the dogs. Yesterday when I was on my own and feeling a bit low I took the dogs for a long walk. It was such a beautiful day and even though I had some very poignant memories of the past I came home feeling so much better.

Mauriherb Mon 22-Apr-19 09:18:09

So sorry to read this. Iv been on my own for several years and I've always found Sundays and holidays the hardest because everyone seems to with their family. These days I plan something nice in advance . It doesn't always stop the tears but it helps. I hope you soon feel better x

Trewdie Mon 22-Apr-19 09:18:31

Oh dear Beckett I hope you feel better today sending you a big hug

Annapops Mon 22-Apr-19 09:22:01

Sorry to hear you are feeling so sad Beckett. Is there someone you can talk to to help you through days like this? You shouldn't be feeling you are on your own and at least reaching out on this site may be of some help. I do hope today is a better one for you. Cherish those beautiful memories. Take yourself out for a walk in the sunshine if you can and breathe in the air around you. Sending a virtual hug.

Bobdoesit Mon 22-Apr-19 09:24:06

Sending love to Beckett and anyone else who is feeling low flowers

CanOnlyTry Mon 22-Apr-19 09:30:08

Beckett
I'm so very sorry to hear of your sadness. I'm not a widow but have lost three siblings to cancer and at times completely 'out of the blue' I feel as if grief is going to consume me. But I've learned that for me, crying provides me with relief (like a bucket of water that needs emptying now and then). I hope that knowing others really and truly care, will provide some comfort
Sending you a virtual hug and thanks

hdh74 Mon 22-Apr-19 09:32:37

I'm sorry you had such a sad day Beckett. I think sometimes we just run out of the strength we continually draw on to get through hard times and find the well has run dry and we need to just feel the pain for a while?
Hope you feel better soon.

Elderlyfirsttimegran Mon 22-Apr-19 09:34:16

I send you love. I don’t think it was just grief for the past, it’s suddenly being hit by the reality of your situation and perhaps grief for what might have been. Loneliness is a horrible thing and you can feel lonely surrounded by people. Misused as it sometimes is, this is where social media is so good because you have been able to reach out to a huge group of us, many in the same boat. Perhaps you can contribute as a “regular” so that you have virtual contacts. Keep us posted.

Hellsbelles Mon 22-Apr-19 09:43:53

With Easter being about ' new beginnings ' in so many ways it is a poignant time of the year with the reflection of the season. I hope you have woken up today a little happier . Do you have someone you know who is also by themselves who might be happy to hear from you with perhaps an invite out to have a tea of tea and a chat.

Hymnbook Mon 22-Apr-19 09:44:16

I'm amazed that so many of you feel like me. I can just about get through Monday to Saturday but Sundays and bank holidays l really struggle. I thought that l would make arrangements to go somewhere do something meet up with others. But then my depression and anxiety kicks in and l decide to stay home.

Annaram1 Mon 22-Apr-19 09:45:15

So sorry to hear of your sadness and loneliness Beckett. Have you any widowed friends who you could contact for days out, or even holidays together?
I hope today is better for you and for all Grans who have lost a loved one.

cherylann2461 Mon 22-Apr-19 09:51:46

So sorry to hear. Where do you live? If you are near me you are more than welcome to join us for a chat/cuppa/meal whatever and whenever.

henetha Mon 22-Apr-19 09:54:30

So sorry Beckett. Holiday times are really difficult aren't they. I think a good cry can help sometimes. I do hope you feel better today.

omega1 Mon 22-Apr-19 09:55:05

Go to church. Its not all about religion. Its a great place for widows as there are other widows there who know what its like and there are lots of social activities to go to. Even going to Church on Easter Sunday morning as I did makes you feel good and you will be with very friendly people. Its not boring and preachy at all nowadays.

ruthiek Mon 22-Apr-19 10:00:02

I am so sorry you are feeling sad . Sometimes it just hits us, just go easy on yourself and remember the good times big hugs xxxxx