son splitting up

My son just informed us that he and his wife are divorcing. As many of you have related, I haven’t stopped crying. They have one son who’s a toddler. They’ve just made this decision and haven’t ironed out any details yet but their tentative plan includes my son living with us while his wife and son stay in the house they occupied together. The house, however, is owned jointly by us and our son, not her. It’s been a very stressful couple of years. Our son has clinical depression and had a lengthy period during which he was out of work; my husband has stage 4 lung cancer; last year we purchased the home for them when they moved back from another state to be near us so that we could babysit and they could help with my husband. My son says they are determined to make their son the priority and hope that he can move freely between the two houses. My immediate dilemma, however is quite bizarre - I knew they were having problems, however, never pried and was hoping things were improving with the stability of solid jobs for them both and a solid home. So, I’ve planned several costly trips for all of us, including a trip to Europe for our 50th this year. When our son gave us this news, I immediately said that I guess I’d have to cancel our travel plans. He said that was up to me but that he and his wife are fine with going with us and their son since they feel they can still remain good friends - they are simply not lovers. I am so torn - on the one hand a family trip when they’re no longer a real couple doesn’t seem right to me, on the other hand we fully intend to stay in touch with our daughter-in-law whom we love and who has no parents if her own.

Nope, do not get involved. As others have pointed out, you don't know what went on their marriage. It's likely that there was fault on both sides.

Please do not put any pressure on her for you to see your GC. Pressure is not what she needs right now. Probably your best bet is to ask your son if he can bring the GC to see you on his time with them.

The original OP post was from May last year.

I wonder how things panned out there?

Sorry agnurse but I've read Nanamar's posts 3 times and I just cannot find any single reference to where she has alluded/hinted/said anything whatsoever about seeing her GC. So why have you advised her Please do not put any pressure on her for you to see your GC. Pressure is not what she needs right now.

The information that I extrapolated from her post was that she was in a dilemma about scheduled holidays, for the whole family, for later in the year. So please could you direct me to where she was asking for advice about seeing her GC?
another example of not bothering to read what advice is actually being sought, as opposed to what advice you think should be thrust upon someone

Correct, Chewbacca. Admittedly I may have confused readers by posting on this thread rather than starting my own. I’m new here.

I was responding to the OP, not realizing that she had posted almost a year ago. Sorry.

Does anyone have experience of Son’s girlfriend wanting a future together & baby then having conceived , ditching DS & family. She has done this with a previous boyfriend 8 yrs ago & told me last year ( we got on well) she was wanting another baby. Her mother has had several marriages herself & is a Police Inspector fond of putting retraining orders on daughter’s boyfriends wanting to remain supportive & involved. DS is now on antidepressants - so sad, he was really looking forward at 31 to this planned, his first baby. I’m hoping he will be acknowledged & on the Birth Certificate once the baby is born in June but she says no, has severed all contact with us all & says very happy with the situation. As well as so sad for DS I’m also very sad at the prospect of no contact with my grandchild in the future.