Sinking feeling but why?

Definitely

We have just lost our darling youngest sister 6 weeks ago to cancer. It’s been a dreadful year, devastating and heartbreaking. Our mother died when she was young and left her engagement ring to my darling deceased sister. We as siblings are close. This ring has no monetary value to us purely sentimental. My deceased sister has sons both married but my sisters relationship with her DIL’s was not close and there were instances whereby she was hurt by them. Nothing has been mentioned about this very special ring. BTW, we are deeply fond of my bereaved Brother IL who we can only say took such wonderful care of my sister and to whom we will be eternally grateful. What as a family should we do? A delicate gentle approach or not? Thanks for reading this

Me too Glenfinnan, I have this problem. It is definitely linked to depression as I have noticed when I am like it I have low self esteem also. What I try to do is to think at the time when you were with these people how did you feel? I am guessing ok and it’s only after that the thoughts starts. I think that I never thought it at the time so it’s my mind telling me I aren’t good enough. You certainly will be a lovely person to know as you have these thoughts so you obviously listen to conversations and will have empathy. I met my daughters boyfriend for the first time and a day later went over and over the meeting and felt so depressed but I have been having counselling about all this and the counsellor explained that at some point I felt not good enough for people to know. It didn’t help at the meeting being tipsy on half a cider as I hadn’t eaten for hours but apparently he like me. So it is all about confidence and self esteem and that voice going on in our head picking over things so try next time to remember at the time you won’t of felt the way you think you did. X

Yes deeper issues going on here. I am also like it. Have low esteem caused by controlling husband. We are probably OK people who worry. I try to do the box thing. It can be difficult when husband who cannot cook makes remark- negative- about a lovely meal I cooked. He did not get away with it when he did it again in front of son!

Wonderful how these messages often touch s nerve, I always feel like that way Glenfinnan but try to tell myself you're not important enough for people to remember what you've said, they'll have forgotten it by now !

Maggie1952 I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved sister. Your grief in these early weeks following her death must be very raw still. You may have realized by now that you posted in the wrong thread, but just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. I have no real advice for you about your mother’s ring, other than to do nothing and hope your bereaved BIL will realise it came from your side of the family and should go back to one of you. Take care?

Yes I am the same . I overthink everything.Its the way we are .I think we are the types that wouldn’t knowingly upset anyone but we are easy to pick on .. I think the main cause is anxiety and worrying increases it .Its a vicious circle .Simetines it would be good to have the ability to wipe your mind clean .

Funny this should come up. I'm exactly the same. We don't do much entertaining, DH can't cope with it but if we do it usually goes well and I feel it's been a success then I start to overthink it and think how I should have done this or that differently. Before I know it the event has turned from a success into a disaster and I feel very downhearted. Same with going out for a meal with friends. I re-cast it later in my mind.

Well ladies again my thanks for ALL your comments and encouragement. I shall think of you all when I next feel like this and will take heart! Hope you will all do this too! Giving each other strength ❤️❤️

Meant also to say I’ve bookmarked and saved all your kind and warm replies to look back at when feeling vulnerable. ❤️

Me too!
It drives me mad to be honest, in fact hard as I try in any given situation, I find myself going over and over what I said, did (or didn't do!)