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I worry she has no playmates

(86 Posts)
Foxglove77 Mon 18-Nov-19 14:17:09

I look after my only GD whilst my DD works full time.

My GD is 3 and there are no other toddlers in our family. We live in a rural area and again no neighbours have toddlers.

We have lots of fun together baking, drawing, crafting and walking etc but I felt it would be nice for her to play with other toddlers. So with DDs agreement we went to a local Mother and Toddler group. GD loved it and quickly made friends. All good.

However the last visit there were toddlers with colds and unfortunately GD caught a nasty cold which she passed onto her parents.

Their jobs are safety critical and they cannot take any form of meds. They also stand to lose attendance allowance if they have any time off.

So I stopped taking GD for a while. Then another group started nearby and I mentioned it. GD picked up on this and really wanted to go. We went and again she enjoyed it. Then I noticed at story time the toddler next to her had a cold and again GD became ill which she passed onto parents.

DD has asked that I don't take her anymore which of course I will respect.

We realize that this will be an issue when she does mix with other school children but she is not due to start infant school for 2 years.

Am I right to worry about her lack of playmates? Any suggestions would be great.

Callistemon Mon 18-Nov-19 22:23:42

I have no idea Bluebelle, although I said True of agnurse's post, I should emphasise that I agreed that the child was definitely not being neglected.

I expressed no real opinion on whether attending such groups is beneficial except to ponder if she might find it more difficult to socialise when she starts school.
I commented on the fact that germs will be encountered at some point in a child's early life - perhaps her parents could bring some home from work unless they life and work in isolation.

Curiouser and curiouser

agnurse Mon 18-Nov-19 22:26:01

My point was that this is really none of OP's business.

The only time that someone should intervene in a parenting decision is where there is clear evidence of neglect and/or abuse. That necessitates a call to the appropriate authorities.

Deciding not to send a child to a playgroup at age 3 does not qualify.

Therefore, the parents' decision is none of OP's business. How she feels about it does not matter.

Foxglove77 Mon 18-Nov-19 22:28:40

Callistemon quote "is this thread serious?" "is this one of those threads?". Sorry there is no conspiracy theory here! Life is too short!

Foxglove77 Mon 18-Nov-19 22:31:16

Agnurse im so sorry of course it is none of my business! But feel free to add your opinion!

Grammaretto Mon 18-Nov-19 22:46:48

Perhaps you could invite other small children to play with your little one occasionally. She doesn't have to be in pre-school but company and play with another child would be nice.
I love watching my DGD playing with her little friends.

BlueBelle Mon 18-Nov-19 22:52:02

All I want to know foxglove is how the parents are going to manage in 18 months time when the little one goes to school or won’t she be sent to school
Because I was a lonely only school was my lifeline my whole socialisation came through school

Foxglove77 Mon 18-Nov-19 23:01:39

BlueBelle of course she will be going to school at 5, she can't wait. My daughter works long and unsociable hours. I have given up my full time job to be her main carer until she joins the mainstream. I am so disappointed by all the negative comments on here. I thought working in an office was bad enough! Thank you to those who gave encouraging comments.

Hetty58 Mon 18-Nov-19 23:32:06

This has got rather silly. Remember when we were that age? There were no preschools or mother and toddler groups. Our mothers wouldn't have time left over to take us anyway (not after the walk to the shops, housework, washing done by hand, dinner cooked from scratch).

We generally turned out OK. MOnica feels that she missed out but many of us found the crowd at primary school a challenge. I missed out on being an only child - but never mind!

There's no hurry for socialisation (unless it's for puppies) and any teacher will know that in a few years there will be no difference between the stay homes and preschooled.

In fact, a local private, expensive (uniformed) preschool is much disliked by the teachers at the primary. The children arrive from it 'switched off' from the idea of learning, negative and disruptive, taking a good while to settle in.

NotSpaghetti Tue 19-Nov-19 00:24:07

Hello Foxglove77 - I am confused by the “Attendance Allowance” issue. Do you mean that if they are sick they simply don’t get paid?

Attendance Allowance, as I understood it, is a benefit which helps if you have a serious disability - at least it used to be.

If it was my granddaughter (and the money aspect was not absolutely critical), I would want her to mix with other children, even if only once a week. Maybe you could have another chat with your daughter about this. The “Mother and toddler” type groups would be my preference as they are generally play focused. The other option is to visit “soft play” facilities etc - but really it’s nicer for little ones to see some of the same faces each week. I do think this helps them when they later are thrust into busy environments.

Good luck. I do hope your daughter will reconsider. Obviously small people are prone to catching colds so the risks are greater when mixing with other children, but frankly, she could catch a cold from you - or at the supermarket!

Callistemon Tue 19-Nov-19 09:49:28

It does seem a pity as you say your DGD really enjoyed it and started to make friends.

Will she be home-schooled when the time comes for formal education?