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Bereavement

My daughter's partner

(121 Posts)
AlieOxon Wed 19-Jul-17 11:35:54

Some of you will know I lost my daughter Jayne suddenly two years ago, and also that her partner K has been struggling to cope ever since.

This morning I have had the police at my door to tell me Kieron has been found dead. In a field in Marston Ferry, Oxford.
I've been in contact with the police but haven't yet learned any more.
I did know he was feeling suicidal. so this is not entirely unexpected, but it is still a great shock.
I'm waiting for my sister to come from near Chepstow.

Bellanonna Wed 19-Jul-17 17:05:28

Alie that's such awful news. Such a lot for you to bear, too. I'm glad you've got your sister with you now and that you're not alone.

AlieOxon Wed 19-Jul-17 17:40:35

Again, everyone, thanks for sympathy.

My sister was here for several hours, so glad she came.
I was upset when she had to go, but it's a long drive back.
I've had a couple of phone calls and texts from his family since, but not enough time to talk really.

I talked to the Oxford police and they seem sure it was suicide. I will have to do a statement next week....the worst I learned was that the inquest might take six months!

Welshwife Wed 19-Jul-17 17:46:12

That length of time is not unusual Allie. My first OH was found dead in the flat he was living in. - the tests they carry out sometimes take months to mature - it was nine months before we had an inquest but we were able to hold the funeral - the Coroner gave us a special sort of temporary death certificate - you cannot get the proper one till after the inquest .

SueDonim Wed 19-Jul-17 18:25:11

I'm so sorry.

AlieOxon Wed 19-Jul-17 18:39:23

If the toxicology - getting done now - is what they think,ie drugs, we may be able to do that.

I just had a visit from the neighbour over the road who keeps my key, he came after work to see why the police were at my door at 3.30 this morning! I never heard a thing, and glad I didn't.

Swanny Wed 19-Jul-17 18:56:52

Alie such dreadful news for you and Kieron's family. He must have been in a really bad place for the last 2 years. Although you knew some of how he was feeling I'm sure you didn't really expect this to happen. I can imagine it's brought all your own emotions to the surface again and hope all the virtual (((hugs))) from everybody here give you some comfort.

AlieOxon Wed 19-Jul-17 19:08:48

So glad all of you are here to talk to.

I really can't think what the police thought they were doing at 3.30 am. If I had answered, I would not have thought I could phone anyone at that time and I would not have slept again either!

AlieOxon Wed 19-Jul-17 19:10:04

Actually my neighbour was very sympathetic and we had quite a long chat, he had had a similar loss himself.

hulahoop Wed 19-Jul-17 19:24:20

So sorry to hear your sad news I must admit I didn't know about your daughter my heart goes out to you . Take care of yourself glad your sister could give you some support ?

GrandmaMoira Wed 19-Jul-17 20:01:36

I'm sorry for your loss.

AlieOxon Wed 19-Jul-17 20:47:33

Saying goodnight for now, I find I'm very tired. Thanks all.

Anya Wed 19-Jul-17 21:25:37

So sorry to read this Alie

rubylady Wed 19-Jul-17 21:37:14

I'll PM you. Xxx

jacksmum Wed 19-Jul-17 21:50:49

I am so sorry you have had yet more tragic news , please when you lay in bed tonight and it is all going through you mind try and find some comfort in the thought that your daughter is now with the person she loved so much xx

Nelliemoser Wed 19-Jul-17 22:36:34

Alie I am so sorry to hear that, after all your other stresses. Just sending you (((hugs)))

AlieOxon Thu 20-Jul-17 09:24:16

I just posted and it's not there. Try again.

I really appreciate all the messages.
I don't know much more than was in the Oxford Mail on the 18th (online).

I'm thinking this morning, it must have taken some courage to go out there where he wouldn't be found quickly. I'm sure that was the intention.

AlieOxon Thu 20-Jul-17 09:26:22

I will try and think of them being together....

I'm not religious, agnostic but I can hope, yes?

Faye Thu 20-Jul-17 09:41:41

I am so sorry to read your news. It must have been such a shock for you, even though you knew he was struggling. flowers

MawBroon Thu 20-Jul-17 09:45:23

Alie I have no words, other than to send you my sincerest sympathy
flowers

annodomini Thu 20-Jul-17 09:49:50

Alie, I've just caught up with this awful news. You have had a sad couple of years and I wish there was something I could say other than that I feel for you and your grandchildren. I'm glad you had your sister even if only for a short time. Do you have anyone else you can talk to? flowers

Riverwalk Thu 20-Jul-17 10:02:19

Alie I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. flowers

Grannyknot Thu 20-Jul-17 12:35:21

Alie so sorry to read of this tragedy. If I remember correctly, he was looking after your grandchildren? I can only send condolences, and wish you strength. flowers

bikergran Thu 20-Jul-17 13:11:08

How tragic for you on top of everything else..

AlieOxon Thu 20-Jul-17 18:15:31

Kieron was looking after two of my grandsons after my daughter died. Sadly he wasn't able to cope, and the 14-year-old went to an older brother, the baby to an auntie.
Both still there now.
They do see each other, but not enough. And I don't see either of them enough.

Lona Thu 20-Jul-17 19:09:54

Alie flowers I am so sorry that you have more sadness to bear.