The first day of the rest of my life..

Entirely right luckygirl Paws life had deteriorated but because he could still enjoy the “intellectual” side of things I was able to indulge in a bit of denial. . He rarely complained but I have to admit I often did (here, for instance! but *never to him*) and if I am being honest the possible future filled me with dread.
But the end was entirely peaceful, the DDs SILs, his sisters -all there around him, an opportunity to say goodbye often denied others. For that I am thankful, no more pain, debility, weariness so if I am putting him first, that was good. However I cannot nod when well intentioned people say ah it was for the best (I know you are not) because of course there is no best or worst, there just IS.
As I said, such confusing emotions. But such wonderful support both here and in RL.

Can imagine how ticking that box must have felt. Not something you will have thought about. How very rude of the Waterstones assistant. Cocky little monkey, lucky to have his (probably) part-time job if he’s still in education. If he’s a full time member of staff I’d want to ring his manager. No, I know, life’s too short, and we move on, but he needs to know that attitude is not acceptable. It reminds me of standing by the checking in desk in various hospitals and the ladies (it always is) behind it just not looking up. Even a quick smile, or “I’ll be with you in a moment” would make a world of difference. Glad you are getting out and about and doing everyday things. Hope, too, you are able to sleep, Hattie permitting. Come back again soon Maw.

Yes, Maw, I still haven't got used to that box, after nearly six years.
I remember one of my neighbours asking me if I'd got used to my new lifestyle, after six months.
I told him a lifestyle is what you choose, and I certainly didn't choose this.

All you can do is keep going, and keep your family going, too. Help each other.

Thankyou for the poem Maw, so beautiful. Loved the picture of Paw. The way you have wrote about him, I was not supprised when I saw the picture. A smart and dignified man.

Good to hear from you again maw. Been thinking about you. That box must have been really hard to tick.

Glad you had a nice time with your London DDs. Funny some assisstants are so friendly and polite and helpful and others just look as though they can't be bothered. I had to interrupt two having a long conversation the other week to ask if one of them would be so kind as to serve me with my meat for dinner before I collapsed from lack of food ?

Be angry if you need to be mawb but not with yourself, just be kind to you. There are no rights or wrongs in terms of feelings just now, just what is. Look after yourself sending love.

Maw still thinking of you

It must have been difficult to tick the box.