A friend's mother was accepted in a care home, even though she has dementia, but the agreement is that my friend has to go in every morning for a few hours to help out, as her presence calms her at a time of day when her mother seems to feel most frustrated. She too has become bedridden, and gets very annoyed and angry, the staff aren't trained to deal with residents with multiple problems. My friend says she would rather be there calming her mother and helping out, than potentially having her slapped by a frustrated and exhausted staff member. She could move her, but visited the dementia unit and thought her mother would be terrified, as she still has moments of lucidity. She is pressured every few months to sell the house, but is living in it so that she can visit, her own life many miles away is on hold and the waiting list for places in her area is years long - her own house is completely unsuitable to care for her mother, she tried it for six months. My own mother is ill and rapidly becoming unable to get around, I really worry in anticipation, hearing all the stories of how hard it is to get help.
and ((((hugs)))) xx