Have I just lost a friend?

ExD. Really who needs friends like that. It was all about her wasn’t it. Selfish and spoilt. You did and are doing the right thing.

Off Topic for mynameis??? I also regretted retiring and couldn't find work. Eventually I approached the 'customer services' desk when I was in the local supermarket and asked if they had a top age range when it came to working there.
The girl said no they'd take 'anybody'(?) and gave me an application form. I went for an interview and got a job on the tills.
OK its rubbish money - but so much fun (before Covid) and at just a few hours a week (with one unsociable time slot a week) I really looked forwards to going to work. The pittance they paid me helped me feel less 'guilty' for buying myself little treats, and it was the best thing I ever did.
Don't aim too high, if you're keen you can always go for promotion, but I found I was happier on the tills than I was when I tried the Cash Office for a while.
Go for it (you can always leave if you hate it).

That does sound severe, KarenDerna, and an enormous sacrifice-

If you live in the UK, you really don't know what lockdown is. I live in Spain, at the moment I do not go out at all, as I have chronic health condition. Nobody is allowed our, unless absolutely necessary , then only to go to the Farmacia or to the nearest supermarket for food shopping.
Most people are not working as everything is closed.
You are not allowed to visit friends and family.
You are not allowed out to exercise.
You can walk your dog a short distance to allow it to go to toilet.
All beaches , playgrounds etc.are closed
Last Sunday was the first time since lockdown that children have been allowed out for exercise, with 1 parent only, up to 1 hour a day, up to 1 km radius from home.
There are police and army patrolling and stopping you if you are out, you need to show identification and justify the reason you are out, where you are going ,show your shopping receipt. If you are not meeting the regulations you will be fined €600 , if you are stopped again and still not confirming you will get €1000 fine. If you are stopped more than 3 times you can be arrested, and the police here can be very rough when arresting and handing you.
That is the reality of a complete lockdown .
The number of fatalities is high, but is slowing down a lot, as is the number of new infections.
Our lockdown is on the way to a gradual return to a new normal, but it will take at least 2 months.
It has been very hard here for a lot of people, especially families in apartments.
The majority of people are obeying the strict regulations.
If you read reports in the Spanish news they are harrowing, I think that some people don't understand the seriousness of this virus, and others refuse to believe it.
But this doesn't mean that it does not affect people in a terrible way.
All you have to do is stop being selfish, be patient and be thankful you are not I'll with Covid 19 waiting for a ventilator, which even then will not guarantee that you will stay alive

Today the vice president toured the Mayo Clinic without a mask- He refused to wear one when asked to-

Yesterday our governor mandated "face coverings" for workers and customers- Today, he retracted the mandate-
He's Republican- He said he changed his mind after talking with a mother who has an autistic child-

Ditch your selfish friend. She's a head case.

Some people can hand it out but they can’t take it. Those of us with compassion for others have a word with ourselves when other people disagree with us, just in case they may have a point. Your friend doesn’t, but she may be venting her depressive mental state.

I agree with sodapop, it sounds as if your friend has come to the end of her tether, and is being a bit irrational.
I bet she has thought about what she said and is feeling a bit
silly, as you made so much sense.
Is it polite to correct people's grammar, grannylyn65?
{ wink}

It may still be possible for you to want to be her friend. She is not intelligent but probably has other traits you like.

You seem confused about lockdown.....you say it should be lifted because it's causing more deaths.... more than the 21,000?....you say it was to "reconfigure" the NHS and now that's been done it should be lifted.. and then in the next breath you say it is the density of our population that is causing it to spread... ? The people staying at home haven't "reconfigured" the NHS..we have done it to ease the terrible pressure our frontline workers are under...to stop the spread of the virus..to not infect those we love, and vulnerable strangers with this extremely highly contagious disease, for which, at this present time, there is no vaccine, and no cure...there is, it seems, also no absolute guarantee of immunity once you have had the disease..there is however the chance of a horrible death if you catch it. Hospital visits have not stopped..my dear SIL has been diagnosed with cancer and her treatment arranged..all since lockdown..but I can completely understand that non-urgent treatment, such as "routine scanning" is having to wait...as it should.. My husband and I both had hospital appointments..follow ups etc. that have been cancelled, and so be it.. we miss being able to hug our family like everyone else, but we won't selfishly put everyone..family, strangers, front line workers, at any more risk than is absolutely necessary. There is no doubt that there have been failings by our government, and things we should learn from other countries handling of the situation..and also note that those who have eased lockdown notice an increase in infections.. Germany being the latest....but as it stands just remember, if you have that infection, whether you know it or not, your potential to infect and spread is enormous...this is not just a "normal" virus...and the only solution, until a cure, or vaccine, is found, is lockdown

Mynameis

I have friends who are recently divorced who cannot get any sense of "moving on" because of lockdown. It's hard

How do I start again! I am 61 divorced, no children, no social life! I retired at 60 but after a month realised I had made a mistake. I am bored and it is difficult not having the money I was on. I have been looking for work ever since but with no luck. I feel I have nothing to look forward to.

I agree, how selfish of your friend. It is tough not being able to see loved ones or just going out when you want but it is people like your friend who are going to make this lockdown last even longer. You were right to let her know your feelings and I am sure if she is a good friend then you won't have lost her and she is probably mulling over her ridiculous statement and with any luck feeling ashamed.

Nicksmrs46 Yes I am in lock down for 12 weeks but only got my letter last week!

However got a CT Scan booked for Friday afternoon so will enjoy that little drive out while it lasts - bit concerning as my Consultant rang me for a post op follow up on Friday and am going for CT the following Friday - hopefully it is because they aren't busy rather than it being urgent? We shall see!

Sorry Annaram, he delivers medicines for a local chemist. Not so very 'hand on' key working - but I still fret about him bring something home.

Annaram1 No, she hasn't said.

exD, It's hard to reconcile what we have always known as 'normal' with what is happening now.

I've had feelings of unreality with all this, and wanting to say things as your friend has done, although I haven't said them or done them.

I hope your friend was just speaking out of frustration and doesn't mean to do those things.

Maybe you could contact her to see how she is now.

Your 'friend' seems like very silly selfish and rather stupid woman. Who needs friends like that.

Your friend sounds very selfish and indulgent
Very 'me me me'
Lets hope she's just having a bad day and this is out of character and will ring you to apologise
If she doesn't then you are well rid of her to be honest

Read this on Facebook,
'In isolation, we miss our loved ones,
so that when we can come together,
no-one is missing'

Have I missed ExD's answer as to what her 80 year old husband is doing in a front line job?

I think this lockdown is affecting us all in different ways. I'm sure when she has had time to digest what was said, she'll calm down and realise what a good friend she has in you, and how unreasonable her attitude was.

I think most people are suffering under the strain of lockdown. We have not been out since 3/3 and desperately miss seeing family. However, to go against lockdown is foolish and will just prolong it possibly adding to the horrendous loss of life. For me it’s more loss of personal freedom to choose rather than going out. This situation is totally unprecedented and people are scared. Probably tempers becoming frayed and angry reactions from many normally placid folk. If luckily we have the luxury of a nice home, financial security, food and warmth we are blessed. My heart goes out to those poor folk with young children living in unsuitable housing without gardens. Those grieving the sad loss of loved ones, Homeless people, depressed mentally ill persons possibly unsupported. The list is endless...... of course the pandemic will end along with lockdown. There will possibly be long term repercussions. In the aftermath Life will be changed forever. I don’t think I will ever feel safe again. Fear will stay leaving life permanently changed. Hopefully people will be kinder to each other as a result....

Never fails to amaze me that people like this that really can't conform for longer than 5 minutes, seem to think they are immortal and that it doesn't really matter about anybody else. So selfish !
Sorry, if they can't think of anybody else beyond their own wants and needs, they are not the sort of person that I would want as a friend anyway!
Even if a long term friend, if you look back over time, they will have treated you in exactly the same way - keeping you waiting when you are supposed to be going somewhere together, or not even turning up etc.

The government has failed abysmally to do anything, it carried on as normal for 11 days after Covid-19 was officially pronounced a pandemic; keeping everything open, stadiums, bars, transport for far too long with no restraint: with no effective preparations, no testing, no PPE, we would 'take it on the chin' accept that 'many loved one will die'; no help needed from EU for testing and equipment.. But he'll probably Get Brexit Done to show he can do something.
The opposition carried on following their arcane rulebook effectively giving us no opposition during these tragic months. Too little, too late.
In the end it will be up to each and everyone of us to use our common sense on how to behave, how to educate our kids, and keep safe and protect others. Don't look for leadership there. That is our task. That and to hold the government and parliament mercilessly to account to prevent further disaster.

I wouldn’t lose a friend over this if she meant something to me. I think we’re all coping in our own way, and we’re all struggling with it in our own way too. Your friend is still in denial, while many of us have rolled over in defeat. That’s not a criticism of anyone, just my view of how we’re managing this in our own heads.

I’m obeying the ‘rules’ although there’s a lot of me that feels just like your friend; ‘what’s the point?’ ‘How long am I expected to live like this?’ Oh yes and ‘why don’t those idiots do as they’re told they’re just making it worse for the rest of us?’

Let’s face it, we’re unlikely to have a vaccine for 18 months to a year and maybe never. We are going to have to live with this thing and face the fact that at some point we have to go out into the world again. So there will be more cases and more deaths. And we could be amongst them. The alternative is to stay indoors for perhaps the rest of our natural lifespan, and that’s a pretty grim thought as well. So while we process these thoughts of course we are all going to go through different stages of grief, and fear. No one knows the answer, no one knows where the story will end. We’re all muddling through along with the powers that be. So let’s just be kind to one another on the way.