Tiger mums

NO POSTERS SHOULD TELL OTHER POSTERS TO "GROW UP". IT IS A BLOODY CHILDISH THING TO DO IN ITSELF!!!

obi to be fair, no one said you had to respond to the OP. There are a lot of posters on GN.

Now I will read the article. But if it's hugely scientific and hard to understand what the fuck it's all about I will make no further comment.

Er... where did that come from, jings? There isn't any telling to grow up on this thread, is there?

It's not hugely anything and it's very easy to understand.

I'll be out for the rest of the morning. Have fun y'all.

God, it's such an obvious, dumbed down, and elitist argument. And so typical of The Times! I really hate that newspaper. I'm cancelling my online sub once my cheap 3 months come to an end.

Of course over anxious pushy mums are likely to have unhappy stressed kids.

'er wot said it knows who she is

You got out of bed the wrong side jingl 'cos you seem to be wearing your granny knickers on the outside!

You're a fine one to tell other people how to post

I don't use hackney worn out phrases.

How are "granny knickers" different from the knickers worn by the rest of the female population? What exactly is your idea of a "granny"? Why should a grandmother's knickers be a figure of fun in themselves? Are you being ageist?

d (Missing from a previous post)

Yes trisher I agree , for a lot of children their every moment is filled with structured activity. There is no time for play, using imagination or learning how to play without being told what to do. It must be so tiring for parents and children

Yes, I am a 'benevolent neglecter'. What the children wanted to do they did. These included learning musical instruments, dancing and, for a while judo. When DD, having asked to learn the piano got bored with practice, the lessons stopped.

There has been a book published recently called The Gardener and the Carpenter (or it may be the other way round). I haven't read it, but I have heard and read interviews with the author as well as reviews. She pointsd out the folly of trying to make a child into something (The Carpenter), instead she recommends cultivating a child's environment, giving them every opportunity to thrive in every way so that you grow large healthy and robust plants.

I think it is a wonderful analogy and one I totally agree with.

I think some parents, particularly mothers, live out their unfulfilled ambitions through their children. They do their best to provide their children with opportunities they perhaps never had or to steer them away from the mistakes they made. There are other parents who see their children's success as a reflection of their 'good' parenting skills.

Thank goodness I generally escaped the mums' school gate boasting, but whenever I came across it, I used to cringe. Anybody who has ever followed Mumsnet threads knows that the DCs on there never seem to achieve less than a few trillion A*s, are always the brightest in the class and destined for Oxbridge on conception.

The reverse side of the coin is those parents who don't encourage their children - some even seem to discourage their children from academic achievement, perhaps because they feel insecure about their children 'rising above their station'.

It's perhaps not surprising that both kinds of parents are miserable. It's sometimes not easy to accept that children are their own little people, no matter whose genes they've inherited.

Did she have a tiger mum?

drive.google.com/file/d/0B92lfgbSRcJzdGV0MDE3VVRQNXdEaG82MGo1RTNscEN1RUdF/view

She looks a happy child.

She's fantastic!!

Yes, and her feet can't reach the pedals! Can't work out how old she is. Her finger span suggests about 7. Can a music teacher tell us?

Lots of children from Chinese ethnic backgrounds have tiger mums (as do African children). I believe the expression originated from the symbolism of the Chinese tiger.

It will be interesting to see whether the tiger cubs grow up into happy adults.

She looks much younger than 7 to me.

I certainly made sure my DDs had things I didn't. I had old parents who spent their energy on my elder brother and ran out of interest for me so I was never taught to swim ride a bike or later on drive. My DDs were . Perhaps I qualify for being a tigercub mum. I still can only ride an exercise bike but I learnt to swim and drive .

Goodness people are ratty today. It must be the heat. I missed the Italian bit too.

I was a tiger mum, but I had to learn to let go. I tried to give my children opportunities I didn't have and it was difficult at first to accept that they didn't always want those opportunities.

Against that, it's a child's role in life to rebel and it's a balancing act knowing when they really can be responsible for their own decisions and when they need a parent's 'guiding' hand. Different eras and different cultures have a different view.

Somebody once told me that I should be more like a bird mother. Once my fledglings can fly without my help, I've done my job.

Ratty? I'm not being ratty, am I? (Apologies if that's how I seem.) Or is that another Chinese animal symbol?

Did I just witness my first GN flounce? It looks funny in print, I almost expected a "shut the door on the way out and DON'T slam it" .

If anyone has time and a netflix subscription I can recommend "The Little Prince". It is all about a tiger mum and an eccentric next door neighbour. It is guaranteed to put you in a good mood.